The rivers are starting to fill up again. Much more rain and it will flood. Autumn is definitely here
How cool must it be to have boat at the end of your garden. Cool I guess until the boat starts floating in the house.
But it is a beautiful river.
We took a trip out to a local historic site. The weather wasn’t great so we hoped that it would be quiet. When we arrived there were just too many cars for Hawklad’s liking. A walk round the ruins was out of the question.
But on the other side of the river was a quiet but very muddy footpath. That was definitely quiet enough for Hawklad to give it a go.
And it was so worth it…
Yes is important that Hawklad continues on his road to managing his anxieties but it’s much more important that he enjoys himself. Sometimes the quiet, secluded path is best for that.
Beautiful walk but why did I do it in shorts. Those thistles are painful on the shins.
I’m trying to work out what’s more painful
The Dentist…
OR
School…
Unusually this time it’s not physical pain with the Dentist. Just pain on the wallet. How much for no work. Here is another thing. When the Hygienist is talking like at a million miles an hour about life, the universe, homeschooling. How did she remember that I’m a single dad with Hawklad at home. When she is firing questions at me about how I’m doing…what’s school doing….. will he go back….have you seen the Bond movie….
What is the protocol for responding. Do I just nod. Do I do someform of eyelash/eyebrow morse code. Do I try to talk as she is prodding around my teeth. Do I wait and save the answers up until she has finished.
It’s all beyond me.
The pain of school……
Hawklad asked a teacher a civil question about some lesson work. The teacher’s response was much less civil. Actually very sarcastic. Basically saying ‘what’s the point answering that if you can’t be bothered to send in any homework’. Hawklad stood his ground and said that he had submitted all the work to date. Teacher came back with ‘wrong, I’ve not seen anything from you all year’. Angry Dad got involved providing screen copies of all the work submitted, in the right location. Sarcastic Dad sensing blood added a screen copy of one piece of homework which showed clearly that the very same teacher had actually marked that piece of work. The words ‘Full Marks’ with the teachers signature next to it. Eventually a sheepish teacher replied ‘I might have been a little quick with those email’s’. Righteous Dad pointed out that the teacher hadn’t bothered to mark any of the other work Hawklad had submitted……
If only it was just one subject and just one teacher that I have had a run in with this week…. Much groaning which actually was probably the sound I made trying to respond to the hygienist while she was scraping around my teeth
Yes definitely today – The pain of school is far worse…….
I’m a simple bloke. I don’t have many talents. Not many redeeming features. It’s actually a good job that I look like a cross between George Clooney and Thor then….. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Today one of the lessons Hawklad had to work through was in an area that I’m trained in. I can actually do this. But rather than a rare chance to show off I ended up shaking my head. It was that bad that I had my first real coffee in months.
What on earth are they teaching our children….
Who is deciding on the areas to learn…..
On what planet do they think that this is the best way to learn…..
Does anyone have the faintest clue if any child is ever going to need this information…..
Basically the lesson focused on the wrong areas, was highly selective, contained inaccuracies and was out of date. The potentially interesting and useful areas basically ignored. The mundane and least worthwhile areas most definitely focused on.
Is it the teacher – Maybe, maybe not. It is the national curriculum – DEFINITELY.
I’m seriously cheesed off with education. Maybe I should join the farmer and play Minecraft. Hawklad would definitely be better off playing that computer game than wasting his time on that lesson.
I remember sitting in small meeting room as a Doctor and a Psychologist talked through Aspergers. How would it effect the future and parenting. A word that kept being mentioned was COMORBIDITY. Aspergers frequently co-exists with other additional conditions. It all depends on the individual. Sometimes you can work on one piece of the jigsaw, other times you have to look at the bigger picture.
Dyslexia, ADHD, Dyspraxia, OCD.
But the single most life affecting word
ANXIETY.
Social anxieties, health anxieties, anxieties.
It’s a constant struggle for Hawklad. The struggle is much harder during a pandemic. More anxieties all around him. But it’s not just about focusing on covid fears. As he briefly gets on top of one anxiety, another one takes over. Last night he struggled with
– infection fears,
– wider health fears,
– fears about touching surfaces and objects,
– return to school anxieties,
– anxieties about random lights in the sky,
– unexplained noises,
– eating anxieties,
– pet anxieties,
– school work,
– meeting strangers,
– life in general.
It’s a constant struggle. Reassuring, trying to manage the environment, talking. Some things the parent can help with but it’s Hawklad’s battle. Somethings need input from experts like Psychologist. Somethings just need a bit of help from life. Some fears may come and go, some fears may be overcome, some fears may become stronger, new fears may appear. It could be a life long battle for him. Over time let’s hope he can develop a range of techniques and strategies to help him manage his own anxieties. The parent is getting older. Soon what support he does get will vanish from the experts. In the UK adults are expected to ‘just get on with it’. That’s Britain for you.
Amazingly we got a marked test paper back from school. That’s a first this year.
The score was down on his usual grades for the subject but…..
its a really good score considering that some of the marking seemed extremely picky and harsh. But I guess that’s what happens after you mark so many papers at home, at night. Police Corruption is wrong, Police Detective Corruption gets full marks.
it’s a really good score given it’s a subject where the content has been anxiety inducing madness this term.
it’s a really good score given…..
Exam questions are often vaguely worded but the marking schemes are often precisely prescribed. Misinterpret the question wording and it could be zero marks. Here’s the thing, Hawklad will read a question and see the problem from his point of view. Not wrong at all, just a different interpretation. His take on the world. Teachers have often used the phrase to Hawklad ‘you read that question WRONG’. Which is odd in that I often agree with Hawklad’s take on a question. Happened in this exam, TWICE. Two questions, two zero marks. Hawklad’s answers don’t tick any of the prescribed answers or words. Yet I think Hawklad’s interpretation is completely valid. His answers were really good but dismissed as invalid.
I sometimes think in this country, children are taught how to think, not encouraged TO THINK.
This is version 2 of this post. The first was I guess similar in tone to many of my recents posts. I can summarise it in one line
Well if you don’t look at his submitted work then what is the point…..
But maybe I’m missing something. What happens if I look at the issue from a different angle.
Years ago I worked with a guy who was a right pain in the backside. He avoided work, blocked initiatives, sucked the life out of the organisation. But I got to know him. He wasn’t always like that. He was once keen, dedicated, wanted to make a difference. But years of rejection, failures, dead ends and broken promises took their toll. Eventually it changed him, drained him.
I have been hard on some of the teachers at school, as I am frustrated that Hawklad isn’t getting the support that he needs. But here’s the thing. In my country Teachers are undervalued and underpaid. They have become the whipping boys for the Government and the Media. Teachers are not allowed the freedom to teach. They are told by the Government what to teach, how to teach it and what learning sources to use. The syllabus is rammed full. They have to teach often in out dated classrooms with insufficient resources and support. Class sizes are too large often with teachers trying to teach something like 30 pupils. Teacher performance is measured purely on narrow measures set by the Government. With all this, is it any surprise that Hawklad isn’t getting the support I think he needs. Teachers are like pupils, just cogs in the system that is about the needs of the economy. It’s not about the needs and dreams of individual pupils.
No wonder that those kids who need support, don’t get it. That’s modern education in Britain.
Traffic meltdown in Yorkshire the other day. Hawklad, Captain Chaos and Muppet Dad had to walk past a toad on the road. Proper Traffic Jam during the morning rush hour. It’s a tough modern life here……
Do you think I miss city life…..
Would I miss school at home parenting…….
Another mad day…….
An email from school informing parents that they will need to fork out for a new school iPad which will be used during teaching. Three years ago we forked out for the last one.
More school emails about highly recommended study materials which can be (they probably should say, need to be) purchased. It’s not cheap this parenting lark.
An email from a teacher. The teacher asked Hawklad to stay in touch. That’s interesting as that very teacher hasn’t yet provided any teaching resources to Hawklad at any time this term……
4 remote lessons today. One completely missing. One mostly missing, maybe 5 minutes work provided. One sent a few questions, Hawklad completed them in 30 minutes (teacher sends questions but never marks any work Hawklad submits). One sent a few documents. One very detailed learning materials sent and followed up.
Would I miss homeschooling….. Yes I would
Would I miss school running homeschooling……. Most certainly NOT.
The long and slightly winding road. It doesn’t look much but it’s a bit of a pull up that slope. Unsurprisingly this little lane blocks quickly when the snow arrives. One day I will pick up the courage to try to sledge this all the way to the bottom. Our very own Cresta Run.
At the bottom of the slope (if I make it that far) I then need to find 2 feet of lift and aim for this gap in the hedge. If I pull that manoeuvre off then I will continue the sledge run across at least one more field. Miss the gap or get no height and it’s going to hurt. Hurt lots…..
As Hawklad points out. He will let Dad go first, clear a path and then if Dad is able to stand without medical assistance, then he will follow. It’s good to know that I still have my uses. 🤪🤪🤪🤪
As the colder, darker months fast approach some of the things that kept both of us going over the warmer months will become harder to keep going. New hobbies and new things to do are really needed. Especially as there is no immediate sign of a breakout from our ongoing family isolation. But we need to keep living. Preferably things that don’t involve pain…
I was looking on eBay for a second hand telescope to help with Astronomy as something we could do together. One to replace my very old small scope. I found a potential option. 4 hours to go on bidding and after 3 bids the price was at £30 plus delivery. That’s great for a £900 telescope. I made the offer. £35…. It was mine…. until 5 minutes before the auction closed. Two minutes later budding was at £300.. Pants. Didn’t bother seeing what it finally went for. Not this time.
But I feel better as I have done something. I’ve tried. Now what other random items can I find. What weird hobbies might open up.
One rainbow makes the last 24 hours of rain worthwhile.
One day the dark times my country are experiencing under this charlatan of a leader will be over and a true rainbow will be there. I just want to give you the words of our Rogue Prime Minister yesterday live on TV. Strangely not being publicised by his friends in the media but it’s telling of his character. So telling.
“I’ve given you the most important metric, which is – never mind life expectancy, never mind, you know, cancer outcomes – look at wage growth,”
This man would happily unplug your life support to charge up his mobile phone. One day he will be history, just a really bad memory. Until he is gone then he will continue to destroy and ruin so many life’s.
As dark and as difficult as life can seem, a rainbow might just be around the corner.
Another school at home week dawns in a few hours. How long can we give this. Today Hawklad seems further than ever from a return to the classroom. I am convinced more than ever that his learning lies elsewhere. But is his call. His future. Is it better to stick in this less than ideal course until after his exams in 18 months time or is it better to twist now. On top of his anxieties he is wrestling with these thoughts. My job is to support him and to keep reminding him that as tough as it seems, that rainbow may be closer than he imagines.
Every year one of the great PREDATORS of our planet makes an appearance here. Forget your Great White Shark and your ‘don’t go into the water’ scream. Here it’s don’tgo on the grass and whatever you do, Don’t Stand on one of these monsters.
Great White Sharks hunt alone, these beasts hunt in packs.
It’s not ‘You’re going to need a bigger boat’, its ‘You’re going to need a thicker shoe’.
It’s definitely an angry food….
So another morning of missing lessons and unsettling topics. Finally enough’s enough. That’s more than enough school angst for one week. For both of us. Hawklad was ordered to play on his new FIFA game (surprisingly he accepted that order without much protest). I went outside to change both blown car headlights. I know which task I would prefer to be doing…..
In the old days changing a bulb was an easy job. Open the bonnet, remove the old bulb, put in the new one. No tools required. Bask in the glory of being an official car mechanic. No need for that Mark 1 Escort Haynes Car Manual. People used to give them as Christmas Presents…..those were the days.
All those years later, all those years of technological progress and I find myself outside in the freezing Yorkshire rain. Briefed on the trials ahead via a helpful 10 minute YouTube video. A smorgasbord array of required tools crammed into my pockets. Years of progress mean that to change a car headlight bulb I now need to
– open bonnet
– unscrew and remove the front grill,
– remove the wheel arches
– remove the front bumper
– unclip the headlight unit
– remove the headlight unit
– unclip the broken bulb using a technique very similar to the sixth move of doom
– put on gloves as touching the new bulb will apparently cause a thermal nuclear explosion
– then reassemble the car…..
Unbelievably after two hours the process was completed. Ok the car might be out of diesel, it may well fall to bits the next time it’s reaches 30mph but at least the headlights are working.
Now to venture onto the lawn to pick up next doors dog’s poop. Yes I will be entering the land of the predator. Be afraid, be very afraid.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 