If your going to be a tree this is not a bad place to take root. Not a bad view at all.
Hawklad’s Granny thought so as well. One hundred paces away lies our garden and in a few weeks her ashes will get scattered there. In a quiet corner overlooking that view. It’s taken a while, a pandemic happened.
My mind goes back a few years. After my partner died, her mum would come out to see us every Sunday. She would always look out over that view. One Morning she quietly said
‘You don’t mind if my ashes are scattered in that corner.’
Of course not.
‘You are planning to weed it…..’
So my project over the next few weeks is to weed that garden corner. Clear the nettles on the other side of the fence. Clear that VIEW.
Beautiful walk but why did I do it in shorts. Those thistles are painful on the shins.
I’m trying to work out what’s more painful
The Dentist…
OR
School…
Unusually this time it’s not physical pain with the Dentist. Just pain on the wallet. How much for no work. Here is another thing. When the Hygienist is talking like at a million miles an hour about life, the universe, homeschooling. How did she remember that I’m a single dad with Hawklad at home. When she is firing questions at me about how I’m doing…what’s school doing….. will he go back….have you seen the Bond movie….
What is the protocol for responding. Do I just nod. Do I do someform of eyelash/eyebrow morse code. Do I try to talk as she is prodding around my teeth. Do I wait and save the answers up until she has finished.
It’s all beyond me.
The pain of school……
Hawklad asked a teacher a civil question about some lesson work. The teacher’s response was much less civil. Actually very sarcastic. Basically saying ‘what’s the point answering that if you can’t be bothered to send in any homework’. Hawklad stood his ground and said that he had submitted all the work to date. Teacher came back with ‘wrong, I’ve not seen anything from you all year’. Angry Dad got involved providing screen copies of all the work submitted, in the right location. Sarcastic Dad sensing blood added a screen copy of one piece of homework which showed clearly that the very same teacher had actually marked that piece of work. The words ‘Full Marks’ with the teachers signature next to it. Eventually a sheepish teacher replied ‘I might have been a little quick with those email’s’. Righteous Dad pointed out that the teacher hadn’t bothered to mark any of the other work Hawklad had submitted……
If only it was just one subject and just one teacher that I have had a run in with this week…. Much groaning which actually was probably the sound I made trying to respond to the hygienist while she was scraping around my teeth
Yes definitely today – The pain of school is far worse…….
It’s been as tough a week that I can remember on this school at home project. Links with a number of teachers have become very strained. I bet the teachers are as desperate for the upcoming week break as we are.
Work has been a struggle. What can you do when so many are off with Covid. Not enough people still standing to cover the jobs. As much as I move the pieces around I’m always going to be short. Oh yes, sorry, apparently the pandemic is over….
My diet is a struggle. It’s a gluten and dairy free life for me at present. Yet those items are strangely unavailable at our local stores. Clearly the gluten free wagons are stuck somewhere trying to get into this brexit wonderland. I guess it’s a week of mostly jacket potatoes. I know what Matt Damon feels like in The Martian now….
Wow I need a break. But that break seems further away than ever. If only I could be Boris Johnson. Tell everyone we are in this together, take £20 a week off the poorest in our country then jump on a jet for a weeks painting and drinking at a Billionaires pad in the sun.
Dreams of a much better life are there. Stronger than ever. Just not this week. Not any time soon. Need to be patient.
Sleep. I find it’s a commodity vastly overrated but actually much needed….
And yet…..
If I just look up it’s amazing what I can find even on a 1 minute walk to the postbox.
There is always something to hold on to. There is always hope. When I focus on what really matters to me. The amazing in my life. I realise actually it’s still a wonderful life. Yes I’m ready to go again…..
I’m a simple bloke. I don’t have many talents. Not many redeeming features. It’s actually a good job that I look like a cross between George Clooney and Thor then….. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Today one of the lessons Hawklad had to work through was in an area that I’m trained in. I can actually do this. But rather than a rare chance to show off I ended up shaking my head. It was that bad that I had my first real coffee in months.
What on earth are they teaching our children….
Who is deciding on the areas to learn…..
On what planet do they think that this is the best way to learn…..
Does anyone have the faintest clue if any child is ever going to need this information…..
Basically the lesson focused on the wrong areas, was highly selective, contained inaccuracies and was out of date. The potentially interesting and useful areas basically ignored. The mundane and least worthwhile areas most definitely focused on.
Is it the teacher – Maybe, maybe not. It is the national curriculum – DEFINITELY.
I’m seriously cheesed off with education. Maybe I should join the farmer and play Minecraft. Hawklad would definitely be better off playing that computer game than wasting his time on that lesson.
This is version 2 of this post. The first was I guess similar in tone to many of my recents posts. I can summarise it in one line
Well if you don’t look at his submitted work then what is the point…..
But maybe I’m missing something. What happens if I look at the issue from a different angle.
Years ago I worked with a guy who was a right pain in the backside. He avoided work, blocked initiatives, sucked the life out of the organisation. But I got to know him. He wasn’t always like that. He was once keen, dedicated, wanted to make a difference. But years of rejection, failures, dead ends and broken promises took their toll. Eventually it changed him, drained him.
I have been hard on some of the teachers at school, as I am frustrated that Hawklad isn’t getting the support that he needs. But here’s the thing. In my country Teachers are undervalued and underpaid. They have become the whipping boys for the Government and the Media. Teachers are not allowed the freedom to teach. They are told by the Government what to teach, how to teach it and what learning sources to use. The syllabus is rammed full. They have to teach often in out dated classrooms with insufficient resources and support. Class sizes are too large often with teachers trying to teach something like 30 pupils. Teacher performance is measured purely on narrow measures set by the Government. With all this, is it any surprise that Hawklad isn’t getting the support I think he needs. Teachers are like pupils, just cogs in the system that is about the needs of the economy. It’s not about the needs and dreams of individual pupils.
No wonder that those kids who need support, don’t get it. That’s modern education in Britain.
Traffic meltdown in Yorkshire the other day. Hawklad, Captain Chaos and Muppet Dad had to walk past a toad on the road. Proper Traffic Jam during the morning rush hour. It’s a tough modern life here……
Do you think I miss city life…..
Would I miss school at home parenting…….
Another mad day…….
An email from school informing parents that they will need to fork out for a new school iPad which will be used during teaching. Three years ago we forked out for the last one.
More school emails about highly recommended study materials which can be (they probably should say, need to be) purchased. It’s not cheap this parenting lark.
An email from a teacher. The teacher asked Hawklad to stay in touch. That’s interesting as that very teacher hasn’t yet provided any teaching resources to Hawklad at any time this term……
4 remote lessons today. One completely missing. One mostly missing, maybe 5 minutes work provided. One sent a few questions, Hawklad completed them in 30 minutes (teacher sends questions but never marks any work Hawklad submits). One sent a few documents. One very detailed learning materials sent and followed up.
Would I miss homeschooling….. Yes I would
Would I miss school running homeschooling……. Most certainly NOT.
One rainbow makes the last 24 hours of rain worthwhile.
One day the dark times my country are experiencing under this charlatan of a leader will be over and a true rainbow will be there. I just want to give you the words of our Rogue Prime Minister yesterday live on TV. Strangely not being publicised by his friends in the media but it’s telling of his character. So telling.
“I’ve given you the most important metric, which is – never mind life expectancy, never mind, you know, cancer outcomes – look at wage growth,”
This man would happily unplug your life support to charge up his mobile phone. One day he will be history, just a really bad memory. Until he is gone then he will continue to destroy and ruin so many life’s.
As dark and as difficult as life can seem, a rainbow might just be around the corner.
Another school at home week dawns in a few hours. How long can we give this. Today Hawklad seems further than ever from a return to the classroom. I am convinced more than ever that his learning lies elsewhere. But is his call. His future. Is it better to stick in this less than ideal course until after his exams in 18 months time or is it better to twist now. On top of his anxieties he is wrestling with these thoughts. My job is to support him and to keep reminding him that as tough as it seems, that rainbow may be closer than he imagines.
Every year one of the great PREDATORS of our planet makes an appearance here. Forget your Great White Shark and your ‘don’t go into the water’ scream. Here it’s don’tgo on the grass and whatever you do, Don’t Stand on one of these monsters.
Great White Sharks hunt alone, these beasts hunt in packs.
It’s not ‘You’re going to need a bigger boat’, its ‘You’re going to need a thicker shoe’.
It’s definitely an angry food….
So another morning of missing lessons and unsettling topics. Finally enough’s enough. That’s more than enough school angst for one week. For both of us. Hawklad was ordered to play on his new FIFA game (surprisingly he accepted that order without much protest). I went outside to change both blown car headlights. I know which task I would prefer to be doing…..
In the old days changing a bulb was an easy job. Open the bonnet, remove the old bulb, put in the new one. No tools required. Bask in the glory of being an official car mechanic. No need for that Mark 1 Escort Haynes Car Manual. People used to give them as Christmas Presents…..those were the days.
All those years later, all those years of technological progress and I find myself outside in the freezing Yorkshire rain. Briefed on the trials ahead via a helpful 10 minute YouTube video. A smorgasbord array of required tools crammed into my pockets. Years of progress mean that to change a car headlight bulb I now need to
– open bonnet
– unscrew and remove the front grill,
– remove the wheel arches
– remove the front bumper
– unclip the headlight unit
– remove the headlight unit
– unclip the broken bulb using a technique very similar to the sixth move of doom
– put on gloves as touching the new bulb will apparently cause a thermal nuclear explosion
– then reassemble the car…..
Unbelievably after two hours the process was completed. Ok the car might be out of diesel, it may well fall to bits the next time it’s reaches 30mph but at least the headlights are working.
Now to venture onto the lawn to pick up next doors dog’s poop. Yes I will be entering the land of the predator. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Today it is wet. Very wet. Zero views. So let’s remind ourselves of what a blue sky can look like….
Two hours later it was raining. And it hasn’t stopped.
Every single day ANXIETY is debilitating for Hawklad. We try to make progress and yes progress is being made in some areas. But we can’t ignore that in other areas his anxieties are getting worse. The ultimate aim we have labelled as rebuilding bridges. To be brutally honest we haven’t even established the foundations yet. Those bridges aren’t appearing any time soon.
So we try to manage daily life. Try to manage the school at home project. Learning has to be made supportive and enjoyable. Hawklad loves History. Sadly he doesn’t love School History. Normally I can ask him any historical question and his face lights up. Why can’t school do this. It’s all in the question. Here’s a question from the test he had to sit today.
The answer was a half of a preserved human kidney. The other half apparently had been fried up and eaten. It kinda sums up the last 3 months of teaching.
There is a thought I can’t get out of my head.
Is school ever going to be compatible with Hawklad’s well-being.
Hopefully a better school at home day. Today has not been great but reflective of how things are going this term,
Lesson 1 – PE. Zero communication. Last year tasks were set for those at home. Garden challenges. Fitness videos to try out. Drills to improve sporting skills. It worked. Unfortunately nothing so far this term. So today’s PE lesson was taking the dog for a walk , then eating breakfast…..
Lesson 2 – History. Revision videos to watch, all focusing on the crimes of Jack the Ripper and forensic science. Hawklad’s anxiety levels rising.
Lesson 3 – Science. Exam questions on Disease, Heart Defects and Serious Illness. Hawklad unable to complete lesson due to anxiety levels spiking.
Lesson 4 – IT. Nothing. He ended up wading through the mountains of homework set in Religious Education.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 