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Direction

If you look in the right direction and it looks like Summer in Yorkshire. For those cloud spotters out there, can you see the really chubby bird being chased my two smaller, slightly more streamlined birds…

Turn in the other direction and it’s grey as more weather is about to sweep over us.

Yes Sunday the 15th is cool here. That cool that the car heater was given a much needed whirl.

That’s just over 3 weeks to schools reopening here. Yesterday another trip out. Another attempted step towards bridge building. Yesterday’s trip felt a little more discouraging. Having seen Hawklad’s extreme anxiety at being within just a few paces away from a handful of strangers, 3 weeks does not seem much time at all. He was spooked by people not wearing masks. Spooked by strangers not interested in social distancing. This was outside. A million miles away from an over crowded classroom with no social distancing. In cramped rooms with inadequate ventilation. Places which have always been a breeding ground for germs and bugs. Places which are frequently unpleasant places to sit for hours. Not conducive environments for learning. It was that way when I was at school, it hasn’t changed now my son is there.

As other countries invest millions in installing classroom ventilation my so called Government has decided to trial ventilation in 30 schools in one small city. See how that goes for 6 months or more, then systematically review the results. Only after that can they start to think about better ventilation for schools. So maybe in a couple of years time, maybe some money can be found. Strange how on the eve of a vital Climate Change world summit, the Government approved a giant new oil and gas field within days…

Priorities….

So today we will try to head out again. To a different destination. Try to find another place to visit which is slightly less busy with more space. Try for another step forward. Maybe these steps may need to start heading in a different direction. One not focused to heavily on forcing an imminent return to the classroom.

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Smaller birds

Another dawn start by the Yorkshire coast. No albatross this morning but so worth the 3.30am alarm call.

Birdwatching and an attempt to re-establish social bridges.

It’s the perfect time for Hawklad to do a bit of bird spotting. You have the site largely to yourself. The sound of the sea and thousands of birds is very soothing. It’s a good way for him to focus on something different. Something which distracts him from those daily anxieties. He can feel at one with nature.

Then the occasional early morning birdwatcher turned up. It’s a big site so they kept their distance. For a couple of hours no one came within 100 yards of us. Maybe I’m scaring them off – early morning starts do nothing for my granite like features. Definitely a face for radio. As more birders took up position Hawklad became less relaxed. More anxious glances over the shoulder. Making sure no one is approaching.

By 8am more people are turning up. Still maybe no more than a few dozen in total. Too many for Hawklad so we leave and head back home. Giving people wide berths on paths. Picking the least busy route through a slowly filling up car park. Getting back to the car then using had wash for several minutes. Carefully rinsing the mouth out with mouthwash.

This still feels like a million miles from venturing back into shops and enclosed spaces. So far away from crowds. A return to school is potentially just a month away. The first step has to be feeling comfortable with crowds and strangers outside. Only then can the ficus shift to inside matters.

Another step forward but I’m not sure how much more of those social bridges were built.

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Deep sigh

Thought for the day. Latest data reveals that in the UK 34,000 children are suffering from Long Covid. In Scotland it has been announced that when schools return they will maintain Covid precautions such as masks. The Scottish Government is also spending millions on improving classroom ventilation. Meanwhile in England, all Covid precautions have been removed from schools as they are deemed perfectly safe….

Deep sigh.

There have been many DEEP SIGHS recently.

We have just found out that the Psychologist supporting Hawklad is leaving in two weeks time. At this stage the Service is not able to confirm when a replacement will be put in place. They can’t even confirm if the support will continue.

Deep sigh.

It takes Hawklad a significant amount of time to build up confidence in new faces. It took a lot of work from this professional to establish a bond, unfortunately now it’s all change again. That’s been the story over the last 5 years. So many new starts….. Even if a replacement is immediately put in place it will take many many months before any kind of meaningful link could be possibly established. That is at a time when his stress and anxiety levels are rocketing with an impending return to classroom teaching (?). A time when he is likely to require high levels of support.

This service is the last remaining support that Hawklad gets these days. But like most areas of child mental health, it’s a service under stress. Service demand rapidly outstripping its limited resources. The service has to prioritise those children most at risk of immediate harm and many families miss out on the help they so badly need. We may well start to miss out. Too many children suffer. Parents and families try do their best. Muddle through. But some of these areas are highly specialised and parents are just not equipped to deal with the issues. Plus many parents are already running on fumes and are struggling.

My country can find the money to buy additional nuclear missiles, can find the money to buy a new luxury royal yacht, can find the money to build a High Speed Train link that few people want, can find the money to pay Government Ministers legal fees and cover bullying damages awarded against a member of the Government. YET the country can’t seem to find the money or desire to protect its very own children.

Deep sigh.

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Abbey

Bylands Abbey which is not far from our home. We are blessed with so much history on our doorstep. There has been an abbey on this site since 1135. Bylands grew to be one of the most important monasteries in the country. It’s church was described as one the finest in Europe during the 12th century. At its peak it was home to 36 monks and 100 lay brothers. It was closed in 1538 as part of Henry VIII’s suppression of the monasteries.

Late afternoon we ventured here. The weather had been grim but was slowly improving. It seemed the perfect time and place for Hawklad to test just how much progress he had made with connecting again with the wider world again. His favourite subject, HISTORY and likely to quiet.

At the start it was a little too quiet for the test. We had the site completely to ourselves. There are places which have a special atmosphere. This is certainly one of them. You could definitely hear the echos of the past.

After a while a few other brave souls arrived. A couple of families. Some rather damp walkers. A well behaved dog. I dread to think the damage Captain Chaos could cause if he was given free reign here. The dissolution of the monasteries would have happened so much quicker if only it had been left to a mad pup.

It’s a pretty big, open site but to Hawklad it shrank rather too quickly. No one got too close, Hawklad made sure of that. He noted that no one had masks on. He wanted to put his on but felt self conscious. Even when I put mine on he still declined. He made sure not to touch any surfaces. The visit changed in nature. From a fun historic walk to anxious glances and nerves. Within a few minutes Hawklad was rapidly heading towards the exit and the safety of the car.

So he made another visit. It’s a step in the right direction. But it also highlighted just how far he still has to venture. Even small numbers of strange faces are enough to throw him. That’s outside and not inside. Inside would be such a test. A test he may face sooner rather than later if he is to return to school in September.

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Missing

One of those days for staying inside. Heating on. Welcome again to the Yorkshire summer.

No excuse then to avoid baking. So here’s my honey and sunflower bread. Dairy and gluten free.

I don’t know what happened to the sunflower seeds but it tastes not too bad at all. Will go well with my completely plant based Cream of Tomato soup when I get round to finding where I put the pesky red things. How can things go missing in such a small kitchen.

Talking about going missing. While I was getting stuck into the bread dough I was listening to the local radio station. I caught the back end of a phone in about people living on government benefits. It wasn’t the must sympathetic range of callers. Out of the 5 callers I endured, 4 came up with the same opinion. Single parents are living the life of luxury, they get shed loads of taxpayers money, do no work and spend the benefits all on, wait for it. Designer clothes, cigarettes, booze, nights out, restaurants and holidays.

I did try to phone in to get on air but the lines were closed. Shame as this single parent wanted to point out a few things….

a) I get pennies in handouts from the Government and I work…

b) I have never bought designer clothes in my life,

c) I have never smoked a cigarette in my life,

d) I have been tea total in over 5 years now,

e) I haven’t had a holiday since 2015. In fact since I have been a single parent I have not spent one night apart from my son. Strangely 2015 was also the last time I ventured into a restaurant.

PLUS some people should wind their necks in and stop prying into other peoples life’s. These people phoning in don’t have the faintest idea what it’s like for the vast majority of single parents out there. Just how tough a slog it is to keep paying the bills while trying to be the best possible parent they can be. Just how little support there is and just how isolating a life it can be. But you hardly ever hear that side of the story. Like too many things, it’s gone missing.

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FUN

Since I’ve been a parent watching my son go through the school system I have heard many things. Many things from those in charge of our school system. I’ve heard things like

The school day is too short

The children get too many holidays

We need to test and test again from as early as 5 years old

Schools fail not because of the system but because of poor classroom discipline

We need to bring back Victorian school values

Time off for bereavement is just an extended holiday for kids

Learning has to be about the needs of the economy

Teaching materials need to be carefully controlled so that pupils learn the right things

Smaller class sizes are overrated

Pupils taking a stand on climate change is really just an excuse to miss lessons

The school lunch break is too long

Pupils get too many breaks during the school day

Not enough children are taking part in after school learning activities

Not enough homework is issued

Ok you get the picture. Now ok I understand some parents will agree with those above statements but not me. I wouldn’t let this bunch of charlatans pretending to be a Government run a bath never mind our children’s schools.

But here’s the key thing. I’m hearing discipline, testing, work pupils harder…. One word I don’t hear is

FUN

What happened to childhood being the happiest time of our life’s.

Another word I don’t hear is

PLAY

What happened to childhood being about dreaming and playing.

Another word I don’t hear is

IMAGINATION

What happened to childhood being about dreaming and learning to think big.

Maybe that’s why we have such a huge mental health crisis amongst our young. Too much pressure. The world is changing rapidly so to me the last thing we need as a society is forcing our children through a factory school based system. Factory Education Farming based on values from over 100 years ago. It’s time to free up our schools. Let’s make schooling FUN again.

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Times have changed

How times change….

When I was at school you did no work on the final day of the summer term. It was bring a game in day. Or play football all day. Or bring a pet into school (actually in my day it was bring a Dinosaur into school). It would end up with the ceremonial burning of the school exercise books behind the bike shed. The teachers never venturing too far from the staff common room all day, unless that was for an emergency replenish the stock trip to the alcohol off licence. Basically a more unruly version of The Purge.

Times have changed….

Hawklad received a class email this morning. The class has to revise for a science test. Two days to revise for the examination on Friday. The last day of the Summer term.

Wow times have changed.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

moaning

The weekly missing shopping item update. This week we have gone up to 24 missing or items substituted with something completely different. Some good ones. The mildest korma replaced with the hottest and nastiest one available….. Or cream crackers substituted with Jammy Dodgers….. The delivery guy was really apologetic (not his fault). He was saying the supermarket has a growing number of empty sections.

I had to send an item to France for work. Before Brexit I would have just plonked it over the post office counter and paid the small postal cost. Now it’s shed loads of paper work and the cost has gone up ten fold. It’s then more paperwork for the poor person receiving it,

So in a word. Brexit is going really well for some of us…..The missing food items, the bureaucratic nightmares and increased costs are so worth it. Think of what we have gained. Hawklad and I have lost our right to travel freely in 27 European countries. So worth it.

But apparently I’m not supposed to talk about this. I’m far too negative. I’m just a remoaner. Even the head of my countries church tells me to ‘stop whinging’ and respect democracy. When did losing a vote mean that you have to stop believing in a principle. Standing up when things are clearly going so badly wrong. I’m not doing anything to disrupt Brexit. I want it to work. I want it to work for my son. For the next generation. But does that mean I have to just ignore what is going on. Just accept it. Fall into line. If that was the case then after an election any party not winning should just fold. Give up.

Tell you what. I will stop whinging when Brexit starts working. That’s a promise. Until then I will keep MOANING and keep fighting for what I believe in.

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Big Step Tuesday

Tomorrow could be called Big Step Tuesday.

Hawklad hasn’t been to school since March 2020. Not been within one mile of the site. That’s a long time to be away. School at home has replaced it. But tomorrow maybe that starts to change.

We have tentatively setup a school visit. After school closes tomorrow, we will drive through the school gates and park up. Just doing that would be a huge step forward. Then just maybe Hawklad will venture into school. A school with no other pupils and have a walk round. A teacher will walk with him if it helps. Or his muppet dad can. Or he can walk around himself. Whatever he feels most comfortable with. He could stay for an hour or he could spend just a couple of minutes. It’s all about trying to rebuild bridges.

Yes it could be a big step towards a school return in September. Or it could confirmation that September is too soon. Or even it could be further evidence that full homeschooling is the way forward.

Yes Big Step Tuesday.

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Together

Here in the UK we are apparently all in this together. We all need to make sacrifices. The Government fought tooth and nail against attempts to extend free school meal support to help the thousands of children living in poverty in my country. The Government cut £4B from the overseas aid budget, aid aimed at the poorest around the world. They have cut benefits to the poorest in our land. I could go on and on. We are in this together.

In separate and unrelated news the Government has topped up its very own wine collection. Over the last year the Governments wine cellar holding has been increased by £26000.

We are in this together. Some of us are more in than others.