Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

moaning

The weekly missing shopping item update. This week we have gone up to 24 missing or items substituted with something completely different. Some good ones. The mildest korma replaced with the hottest and nastiest one available….. Or cream crackers substituted with Jammy Dodgers….. The delivery guy was really apologetic (not his fault). He was saying the supermarket has a growing number of empty sections.

I had to send an item to France for work. Before Brexit I would have just plonked it over the post office counter and paid the small postal cost. Now it’s shed loads of paper work and the cost has gone up ten fold. It’s then more paperwork for the poor person receiving it,

So in a word. Brexit is going really well for some of us…..The missing food items, the bureaucratic nightmares and increased costs are so worth it. Think of what we have gained. Hawklad and I have lost our right to travel freely in 27 European countries. So worth it.

But apparently I’m not supposed to talk about this. I’m far too negative. I’m just a remoaner. Even the head of my countries church tells me to ‘stop whinging’ and respect democracy. When did losing a vote mean that you have to stop believing in a principle. Standing up when things are clearly going so badly wrong. I’m not doing anything to disrupt Brexit. I want it to work. I want it to work for my son. For the next generation. But does that mean I have to just ignore what is going on. Just accept it. Fall into line. If that was the case then after an election any party not winning should just fold. Give up.

Tell you what. I will stop whinging when Brexit starts working. That’s a promise. Until then I will keep MOANING and keep fighting for what I believe in.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 55 Comments

Big Step Tuesday

Tomorrow could be called Big Step Tuesday.

Hawklad hasn’t been to school since March 2020. Not been within one mile of the site. That’s a long time to be away. School at home has replaced it. But tomorrow maybe that starts to change.

We have tentatively setup a school visit. After school closes tomorrow, we will drive through the school gates and park up. Just doing that would be a huge step forward. Then just maybe Hawklad will venture into school. A school with no other pupils and have a walk round. A teacher will walk with him if it helps. Or his muppet dad can. Or he can walk around himself. Whatever he feels most comfortable with. He could stay for an hour or he could spend just a couple of minutes. It’s all about trying to rebuild bridges.

Yes it could be a big step towards a school return in September. Or it could confirmation that September is too soon. Or even it could be further evidence that full homeschooling is the way forward.

Yes Big Step Tuesday.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Together

Here in the UK we are apparently all in this together. We all need to make sacrifices. The Government fought tooth and nail against attempts to extend free school meal support to help the thousands of children living in poverty in my country. The Government cut £4B from the overseas aid budget, aid aimed at the poorest around the world. They have cut benefits to the poorest in our land. I could go on and on. We are in this together.

In separate and unrelated news the Government has topped up its very own wine collection. Over the last year the Governments wine cellar holding has been increased by £26000.

We are in this together. Some of us are more in than others.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 56 Comments

Ketchup

Joey Chestnut has apparently declared himself the greatest athlete of all time after breaking the world record for eating as many hotdogs as you can in 10 minutes. He ate 76 in 10 minutes. 76…. Jody was clearly not eating hotdogs from outside my so called football teams stadium. It takes at least 10 hours to get served and I dread to think of the chemicals and additives entering into the body after just 1 of those monstrosities never mind 76 of them. Only shed loads of tomato ketchup is saving that.

Yesterday food delivery came with 18 missing items and various random substitutions. Brexit is going really well………

So as I we picked through the damage. No favourite sausages – ok Hawklad can live with that for a week or so. No favourite salad and fruit – again he will make do. It went on and on in a similar vein until. NO Tomato Ketchup. To many amongst us that will just not fly. To Hawklad that’s worse than a zombie apocalypse. So today we go out ketchup hunting.

Needs must…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 20 Comments

Deadline

The one thing we have been careful about is not putting deadlines on the way forward. Somethings can’t be rushed. They have to happen in their own time frames especially as there are so many roadblocks out there. Especially when you get days where it’s one step forward and two back. That applies to my life just as much as it applies to Hawklad’s.

But it feels like a deadline is forming. The start of September. That sees the beginning of the new school year. But it’s different this year. His subject options have been picked. He is starting the final 21 month push towards his main exams. Fall behind now and it’s tough to catch up. This school year is hard enough even without anxieties and fears. Hard enough without having to worry about if it’s homeschooling or the classroom. Delaying a decision to return to the class adds so many complications. Hawklad would face the stress of returning to classes midway through the year. New classes. Different from the ones he left. Different faces. Established relationships and dynamics. That’s a real challenge for anyone but to someone with social anxieties, a nightmare.

Ideally September brings certainty. This is the start of how the learning and schooling goes until the exams. There shouldn’t be any sudden changes of approach. That’s why September feels like a deadline. A really tight deadline. Too tight. So many hurdles still to climb, so many bridges still to be rebuilt. Walking quiet country lanes although great progress is a million miles away from sitting without anxieties in overcrowded classrooms. Just under 8 weeks to do all that.

It’s also not much time to organise a full homeschooling approach leading to something meaningful for him.

Yes it feels like a deadline approaching fast.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

My country

“You don’t get to stoke the fire at the beginning of the tournament by labelling our anti-racism message as ‘Gesture Politics’ & then pretend to be disgusted when the very thing we’re campaigning against, happens.”

That’s Tyrone Mings, a member of the England Football Team standing up to the Government. That’s the thing we have a national Football Team that has players who have principles. Who are prepared to stand up for what is right. And a Government without principles or any moral compass. A manager of the England Football Team who makes a stand for multiculturalism and inclusiveness. Yet we have Prime Minister whose language is frequently racist, sexist and homophobic.

There is so much ugliness, intolerance and hatred in my country. It starts from the top. A Prime Minister who fuels hatred and division. Feeds off it. Happy to back the extremists and bullies yet so quick to attack those taking a stand.

But it’s not too late. It can change. People can change it. Good people who care can change it for the better. We have to take a stand for what is right. We have to support those taking a stand. We have to reclaim our country from the bullies.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 22 Comments

Roses and broken rules

At least the roses are true and can be relied upon…..

One rule for us and one rule for them.

The rules only apply to the people not to those in charge. Everyday this becomes more and more evident. They are found guilty in court and nothing happens. The tax payers pay the fines and they carry on. We don’t count.

During the pandemic we have been told to follow the rules. No questions you must obey the rules and obey the politicians. You will be punished if you don’t.

We were told to stay at home. Think of the greater good. Then a member of the Government drives 300 miles to be with family. Goes on drives to tourist destinations to check his eyesight…. Breaks every rule we are supposed to be following and yet our Leader defends his friend. He was only acting as ‘any parent would act’. According to Johnson the CASE WAS CLOSED. Yet other parents were fined for count far less. Our Leader didn’t rush to defend them….

Now the Government man in charge of health services has been at it. Let’s put aside the incompetence and malpractice which follows this Secretary of State everywhere. This is the man who said social distancing rules had to be obeyed. In his words they were ‘not a request they are an INSTRUCTION’. This is the man who when one of his chief scientific advisers broke the rules he took great delight in forcing him to resign – to do the right thing.

Well guess what. The Secretary of State was breaking the rules at the same time. He has been forced to admit that he was in the wrong when photographic evidence was published. He was breaking the same rules that his scientific advisor was forced to resign for. He was openly ignoring his own instructions. They didn’t apply to him. Yet he won’t resign. Our leader says the CASE IS CLOSED and he has his full support.

One set of rules only for us while our so called leaders make hay. They treat us with contempt. This has to change.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Conned

Yorkshire. Not Death Valley. Yes Yorkshire.

There was a time when Yorkshire wasn’t so dry 😂😂😂😂😂

There was also a time when shopping was easy. No social distancing, no masks and no empty shelves…..

A number of people at work have been talking about the supermarkets here having far too many empty shelves. Many out of stock items.

For a few weeks after the pandemic first started our shops did suffer from panic buying. Shelves stripped in the madness. Remember the toilet paper mayhem. But then it calmed down. Until now.

This time can I mention that dreaded word here – Brexit. Mountains of crazy new regulations, logistic lines intentionally broken and shortages of key workers now not welcome here by our Government. A number of supermarkets are struggling to get supplies in. Suppliers are struggling so they are having to focus just on a few item lines and drop others. Hence empty shop shelves.

So how did my shopping order go today.

No fresh veg apart from potatoes – out of stock

Apart from apples no fresh fruit – out of stock

No ready meals – out of stock

No soft drinks – out of stock

No fresh fish – out of stock

No fresh pasta – out of stock

No gluten free items – out of stock

Even the tinned and frozen items were frequently substituted with ‘similar’ items. Don’t get me wrong we won’t struggle to eat. Just need to go more processed. I will have to have a very unvaried gluten free diet for the week. Hawklad will live off sausages – no hardship there 😂.

But really is this what the 26.5% of the population who voted to leave the EU really hoped for. If it wasn’t then I’m afraid you we’re conned.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 45 Comments

Broken

A long and winding road if you can find it.

You kind of assume that your country is geared up to support its young people. That they matter. Well they should matter and countries should be geared up. But this is Britain, where support and mental health services have been under funded and in recent times cut back. Britain which has a Government that wants to return to ‘good old Victorian values’. Britain where children are only seen in terms of future economic value. In Britain where support is frowned upon by those in charge. In Britain where children taking time off in the immediate aftermath of a significant bereavement is described by the Government as ‘extended holidays’.

In 2016 Hawklad lost his granny and mum within 6 weeks of each other. A traumatic experience for anyone but for an 8 year old with Aspergers, it’s an emotional maelstrom. But here’s the thing. Sadly he won’t be the only child in this position. But where’s the support. Schools are not set up to cope. In Hawklads case the school cared but where clueless. The specialised education services in the area had been effectively closed down to meet savings targets. I approached his Doctor who just referred to child mental health services. He warned that they had a backlog of cases. That was all the Doctor did. Hawklad was already on the waiting list for Aspergers support.

That was it for over a year. No support. Left up to me, someone who was struggling already. How do you start to help someone when you are broken.

Finally we got to see the Child Mental Health Team. They worked on anxiety issues but no bereavement counselling, no Aspergers support. Luckily his dedicated worker was wonderful and she did try but it was not her area of expertise.

Fast forward to 2021 and Hawklad still has not had any bereavement counselling. Taking a wider view. He had some help with a physiotherapist but that was cut. He started speech therapy but that service was cut. He has had a few months of Aspergers related support but the specialist retired and was not replaced. He has had no dyslexia support. He does get some support for anxiety but that is patchy.

AND he is one of the lucky ones in Britain….

It has to be better than this for all our children. THEY ARE NOT JUST ECONOMIC RESOURCES. It won’t change here under this Government, it will only get worse. BRITAIN is BROKEN when it can’t care for its children.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 59 Comments

Challenged

Millions of years of evolution. All that natural selection stuff. Leading to me. This morning it took me 2 hours to work out that I had my top on inside out. It didn’t go on right. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t look right. I was bemused at not being able to find my shirt pockets. I could have sworn this shirt had them……. It still took me two hours.

Here’s the worst thing. It then taken me another two hours to correct the mistake. In fact I’m writing this still sartorially challenged.

It’s either a sign that I’m not likely to see anyone soon or I’m single…..

I will let you make your mind up on that. But with homeschooling there is no uniform requirement. Actually I’ve dressed much worse than this over the last year. Definitely too many fashion crimes. But it really doesn’t matter in the end. Well not until someone sees me.