Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 29 Comments

Dreams

Looking over the Vale of York I was pondering life. Pondering the wonderful things that I already have and what extra wonders might still come my way. I can definitely still dream big.

If you had asked me back in 2016 and 2017 I would have scoffed at the thought. Grief cruelly robbed me of many things including dreams. My dreams require a vision of future. Back then I could see no future, just a black void. I could only live through my son. It was his future and nothing else. Give him the happiest childhood possible. One day he would leave home and for me, that was it.

But with time dreams did come back and when they did it was like a dam bursting. I could hope again. I could see positive futures. Yes the old dreams are gone but new and very different dreams have replaced them.

Hope and dreams might be hidden but they are usually there somewhere. Maybe it just needs a bit of time and a period of pain. Maybe they need a chance meeting or a seemingly random event. But when dreams are rediscovered they might just be better than ever.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 29 Comments

Bread making

A few weeks back I was in the loft trying to find some old papers. In a corner I found the old bread maker neatly packed away in its old box. No papers but I did decide to bake some bread.

So a few days later I bought the gluten free bread ingredients and went back into the loft for the machine. Wow it was heavy. So I opened the box. Pants…..

Ok, no it wasn’t full with pairs of my big pink pants. But no bread making machine. A box full of papers. The papers I was trying to find. My plans had gone a RYE. Homemade bread was now TOAST. What was I thinking about, I’m BUTTER than this. But at YEAST I found those papers.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 42 Comments

Emails

Three emails from school over the last few hours. Kinda sums up the the modern world. The first two emails informed parents that more pupils had tested positive for COVID. Close contacts had been identified and told to isolate for two weeks. The rest of the school was still open and pupils are still NOT required to wear masks in school in line with Government policy.

The third email was more specific. In Hawklad’s Class yet another student had now tested positive for COVID. The Class would have to now isolate as well.

The number of cases in English schools continue to rise at alarming rates. I really hope that the pupils recover quickly and they are not in the 10% of children who develop long covid or end up in hospital with serious complications.

This is real. This is happening in my countries school’s today.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 14 Comments

White rose

White roses. All very summer like.

The reality…..

An early start. Exercise out the way. Homeschooling started. Housework done. No work to be done until tomorrow. Time to relax. Time to enjoy a few hours.

The reality…..

Walking bear foot to the kitchen to make a drink and standing on a Lego piece. If only that pesky Lego Lifeboat Set had stayed intact and off the floor for as long as this foot pain is lasting

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 20 Comments

Odd choice

Thousands of years of history. A world of unique and fascinating areas for schools to study.

Hawklad’s favourite subject. He loves absorbing and living bygone places and events. Already he has an in-depth knowledge of Britain’s Kings and Queen’s dating back before 1066. He’s pretty hot on the Roman Empire. During lockdown he has developed real expertise in Hitler and German fascism. These all were developed largely without school help.

Now he us keen to expand his knowledge into ancient Egypt and the French Revolution.

It would be nice if the school system would run with this desire to learn. Sadly the UK state school system has developed a Henry Ford approach. You can have any learning as long as it’s only the one that is imposed on pupils. One learning fits all approach.

So what subjects will school history focus on for the remainder of his schools days.

Russian Tsars – ok Hawklad can live with that one

American Wild West – ok

Victorian Crime and Punishment……

I’m sorry he has zero interest in that. Learning graphic details of the Ripper Crimes is not his thing. He struggles to even think about this area due to his anxieties. Effectively a third of his best subject course and exam is likely to cause him severe stress.

Of all the fantastic areas they could have picked and they went for this. When did History effectively become Criminology. So a complete school stay and no European history (apart from the two world wars), no ancient history. Here’s what really bugs me. Hawklad’s school history has failed to look at some of the great historical figures. Nero, Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Martin Luther, Louis XIV, Charlemagne, Constantine the Great. Nothing. Yet Jack the Ripper gets shed loads of focus.

Some might want that, but many won’t.

Here’s a radical thought. Let the pupils have discretion to pick from a wide range of subject interests. That’s how you great a true lifelong spirit of learning.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 33 Comments

Summer Apparently

Midday July. Perfect summer weather.Will the weather pick up before the six week school holiday which starts towards the end of this month.

Six week seems a lot of time to fill but in practice it never is. It’s not because the days always fly past regardless of whether you fill them with activities or you don’t. That’s the risk, it could end up with just six weeks of vegetation. Especially with the ongoing pandemic and Hawklads anxieties and fears. Super especially if the weather stays like this.

But here’s the thing. Maybe six weeks of vegetation is what Hawklad needs.

I wonder just how many parents are pondering the same summer conundrum.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 44 Comments

Candles

And the storms and power cuts continue. At times it’s felt like going old school. No tech, even limited mobile signal, no TV. It’s been a time for things like Lego, Board Games and Books. Even candles. Why do rooms look so good when all you have to illuminate them are a few small tea candles. I’m amazed that I found them and some matches as well.

It all brought out the inner Bear Grylls in me. Time to light a fire in the garden. Might give the hunting a miss. Maybe just hunt to find a few tins of soup and beans. Maybe brew some tea. Obviously I could have just used matches but no, the Bear was out. Almost felt like I should be putting face camouflage paint on.

Two hours later I was still trying to light the fire. Failed with the friction stick method. No sunlight so magnifying lens not possible -that method is never working in deepest Yorkshire. The flint and steel method was now proving as effective as my diet, useless. But here’s the thing. Madness had truly set in. Outside in the rain desperately trying to produce just one spark to survive. Madness because the power had come back on just under two hours ago….. Hawklad was inside playing on his Xbox and looking out, shaking his head at the nutter outside.

The nutter outside who had let self pride take over …..

And no I didn’t ever get that fire going.

PANTS.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 36 Comments

Mobile

There is so much wrong with my countries education system. Teachers aren’t allowed to freely teach as they are told what and how to teach by the Government. Headteachers have to follow instructions from above. Parents are threatened with fines by the Government. Government policy discriminates against those fantastic kids who don’t fit the mould set by the Government. Most school classrooms are overcrowded set in ancient buildings that are not fit for purpose and have next to no ventilation. The country has the highest class sizes in Western Europe. Historically our schools have been a haven for spreading bugs rather than spreading hope. Covid cases are rising rapidly in school age children, up by 80% in one week. Over 10% of children with Covid end up in hospital or develop long Covid. That is at a time when Covid safety rules on things like masks have been removed in schools. It’s as if the Government are intentionally trying to infect as many children as possible. There is a massive mental health crisis amongst our young at a time when cuts have left services at breaking point. Thousands of children are going hungry, living in poverty.

So much for the Government to act on. So what is the priority. What is the one thing the Secretary of State for Education wants to focus on…

Stopping pupils using mobile phones in school. Apparently they think there is a behaviour problem. Yes there is. NOT in schools, it is in the Government. It starts with the Prime Minister and infects those at the top.

Talk about skewed priorities. But what do we expect from this Government led by Boris Johnson. What do we expect from a Secretary of State for Education who proudly has a horse whip on his desk.

Our children deserve better than this.

The sooner we get rid of the cesspit in charge of our country the sooner we can start to build the future that our children deserve.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Jim

On the 3rd July 1971 we lost Jim Morrison. The Doors frontman died 50 years ago in Paris. Such a talent taken way too soon.

Fast forward a few years and I’m sat in an A Level exam. Facing a dreaded French comprehension question. The exam wasn’t going well. I was failing. I was tempted to put my pen down and walk. But a quick glance at the French text changed my mind. The text was a French newspaper report. All about Jim Morrison, The Doors and the circumstances surrounding his death. Unbelievably I didn’t need to read the French text to answer the questions. Just a few minutes later the questions were answered perfectly. Unbelievably I passed. Passed because of Jim Morrison.

So today I’m going to listen to my L. A. Woman LP. Listening to Jim Morrison.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 55 Comments

Not sure

A return to school for Hawklad in September will have to be so carefully managed. To be fair to school they are happy to do what they can. Phased start. Days to suit Hawklad. Prepared to make adjustments where they can.

But here’s the problem.

The set teaching material.

Some topics will open old wounds, reignite anxieties. This could derail everything

Let’s take this weeks lessons.

Science exam questions on Cancer,

Science lessons on diseases,

History lesson researching the murders and causes of death of the victims of Jack the Ripper. The details are graphic,

A lesson on food poisoning,

A lesson on mental health and suicide.

That’s one week. I can manage this at home but how do you address this at school. I’m not sure at all.