The road often seems so long and never ending. Somedays it is, especially when your trying to run along it straight into the teeth of a biting north wind. Absolute purgatory. But then other days the road is short and manageable. Even in my rubbish car it only takes a couple of minutes to drive it. It’s good to remind myself this every so often.
In those dreadful early days of being a widow and a single parent the journey in front of me looked so daunting. So beyond me. A road with seemingly no end. I would shake my head and just think – I can’t do this. Yet I still set off down that road. I didn’t want to but I was faced with no choice. I was a parent to a young kid who has just lost his mum. He’s was also trying to get his head round not being able to read and that new word – Aspergers. I owed it to him to at least try. Nobody else would. It was down to me.
He only gets one childhood and it better be as brilliant as is humanly possible.
So I started down that road. I had no idea where the road led to. I was so confused. As a result I was hoping to find a ready made parenting plan – an easy to navigate road map. As hard as I tried I just couldn’t find a map which I could use. I searched everywhere. So many books and articles were scoured over for that magic road map. But in the end it was a futile search. No one is going to do this for me. No easy shortcuts had been forged by others. It was down to me and I needed to own it.
Fast forward to 2020 and I’m still here. Still a widow. Still a single parent. Still slightly confused. Still travelling that road. Still haven’t come across a map. But there is a difference. That road doesn’t quite feel so daunting. It doesn’t feel quite so long now. That’s progress in my book.
Neat photo
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you x
LikeLike
Forgot to mention about the photo in my comment below.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
Progress indeed!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Any progress is good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully written!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Definitely progress. You’re doing so well. 👍👍👍
LikeLiked by 3 people
I hope so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The photo is amazing. I love that road. I can relate to this road. So any things come to mind when I look at this photo. You are a remarkable mans dad your son is Lucy to have you as his father and support team. I am happy that the road is so much easier now.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s so kind of you. It’s a nice road. After a few miles it swings into some steep hills and narrows a lot.
LikeLike
Yes, progress! I think we’re all looking for that map no matter how many grown-ups are involved in the parenting process–1, 2, 4, any of’em. We’re all desperate for that map of answers, and we’re all bummed we don’t find it. And yet, we keep on, and we discover our kids are indeed having the best childhoods we can give them. Maybe they’re not the dream childhoods, but they are ones of laughter, adventure, and love, and in the end, isn’t that what’s best?
LikeLiked by 3 people
That is what best. A kid being happy is all we can ask for. Anything else is a bonus.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my the typos.. readers will be on the next time.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I had a good laugh at your tyoos cause I’m also watching the news with the sound off and the closed captions are so bad (looks automated) that I can’t figure out what they’re really saying. At least yours was easy and funny!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am happy I made someone laugh. (Hahaha) oh good I am happy you could figure it out.
LikeLiked by 2 people
With sons dyslexic writing my brain is tuned in to some distinctive words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I see you saw my typo (haha) . Have to make sure to wear my readers at all times on here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My typos are becoming a joke with the blog readers now.
LikeLike
🙏
LikeLike
My typing is getting worse. Often it’s too much for my predictive text.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve made tremendous progress and you have shared your life with others! So many have been able to relate to your struggles. Add to that your child’s autism and the struggles you face with the British school system and we all give it to you for fighting the good fight for your son! Bless you, dear friend!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you. I think the other key thing to remember is that many have it far worse than we do. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, you have a lovely son and you are so blessed with his humor and his genius! So glad you see it and recognize it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am blessed to have him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No maps, no signs, very few rest stops…it’s a twisty, bumpy road, but the scenery is magnificent! Sometimes you even meet fellow travelers and share the road.
Happy traveling!💃🏼💌
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes those unexpected encounters are so much fun. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Even when you are in this parenting life for years, it is still like playing it by ear and hoping you get it right, because our kids change. No manual or book can even keep up with that. We fail and we succeed, but we never stop doing our best for them. Your journey has been encouraging to read and reminds me of what is important. Keep pressing forward. Your son loves you for being his covering and his everything. I will not pretend I know what your grief feels like, but I know that waking up every day, *choosing to be the best for your child, takes courage. Thank you for sharing this post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it takes a long time before you realise most parents are just playing it by ear. Thank you for reading this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely true. You’re welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Massive progress ! You are doing so well !
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome B&W shot.
You are forging your own map. God love a pioneer… You have a soft heart and a steel backbone.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you. xx It’s so important to remember that others are in a much worse position, so we are quite fortunate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed you are getting along that road. I think all of life is really uncharted territory and you just have to keep walking, some days better than others, some days further than others x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s taking each step as it comes. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never a truer word spoken.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It never matters how we stumble or fall or anything, or don’t know the road, it is always the taking each step.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really is. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
B/W was the right option for the photo. You are taking the only route you can – and it is direct.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sometimes b/w just makes a rather dull photo come a bit more to life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is progress in anyone’s book. Roads have bumps, turns, crossroads, fallen trees but I believe if you keep going, small steps, you’ll find some lovely scenery along the way. 😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes the scenery is always good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done. There is no true guide to parenting, as we all make it up as we go along and learn from our own mistakes. Keep at it!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you mind if I ask how long you’ve been a widow? From what I’ve heard, parenting in general never comes with a road map. Well, that’s not entirely true. The Bible gives some important pointers, but there are always grey areas and questions. I’m no parent, but you seem to be owning it very well. I’m glad that things don’t feel so daunting and the road doesn’t feel so long. That’s progress, indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Since 2016.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The road is a lot like a treadmill. You’re right about making it the best for your son.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes it is. Putting kids first is the only option. Or should be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you are doing a great job. Glad you are feeling the progress!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Robyn x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, every road has many routes and you have chosen to take the route that optimizes the well-being of both your son and yourself. Blessings!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hope I have chosen that road. x
LikeLike
I think the definition of courage is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how rocky or pitted the path.
I agree, that is progress in my book too. You’re doing an awesome job! This is my pat on the back for you. And, by the way, you are an inspiration to many who are often tempted to quit. Kudos to you. I am so glad you’re here sharing your experiences and in doing so helping us all carry on.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you x Yes I’m amazed at some of stories, the problems people face. Yet they still keep moving forward. Amazing. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really is. The human spirit and the courage displayed by many really is astonishing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It gives hope.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it does.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you ever find that roadmap, please let the rest of us know
LikeLiked by 2 people
Will probably sell it……
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cool – glad you feel less daunted now! However a person finds themselves without a partner to share the ride, like any situation it takes practice 😊.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lot of practice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That really does sound like progress. Time really does make the road a little easier if we allow it to do its work, although Im sure the pain will never really go away but it will become a little more manageable each day. Like you say you had a reason to have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and Im sure your son is better for it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Just have to have patience.
LikeLike
It is indeed progress! Hang in, my friend … you’re doing it … one step at a time. xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you x
LikeLiked by 1 person