The road often seems so long and never ending. Somedays it is, especially when your trying to run along it straight into the teeth of a biting north wind. Absolute purgatory. But then other days the road is short and manageable. Even in my rubbish car it only takes a couple of minutes to drive it. It’s good to remind myself this every so often.

In those dreadful early days of being a widow and a single parent the journey in front of me looked so daunting. So beyond me. A road with seemingly no end. I would shake my head and just think – I can’t do this. Yet I still set off down that road. I didn’t want to but I was faced with no choice. I was a parent to a young kid who has just lost his mum. He’s was also trying to get his head round not being able to read and that new word – Aspergers. I owed it to him to at least try. Nobody else would. It was down to me.

He only gets one childhood and it better be as brilliant as is humanly possible.

So I started down that road. I had no idea where the road led to. I was so confused. As a result I was hoping to find a ready made parenting plan – an easy to navigate road map. As hard as I tried I just couldn’t find a map which I could use. I searched everywhere. So many books and articles were scoured over for that magic road map. But in the end it was a futile search. No one is going to do this for me. No easy shortcuts had been forged by others. It was down to me and I needed to own it.

Fast forward to 2020 and I’m still here. Still a widow. Still a single parent. Still slightly confused. Still travelling that road. Still haven’t come across a map. But there is a difference. That road doesn’t quite feel so daunting. It doesn’t feel quite so long now. That’s progress in my book.

70 thoughts on “The road

  1. The photo is amazing. I love that road. I can relate to this road. So any things come to mind when I look at this photo. You are a remarkable mans dad your son is Lucy to have you as his father and support team. I am happy that the road is so much easier now.

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  2. Yes, progress! I think we’re all looking for that map no matter how many grown-ups are involved in the parenting process–1, 2, 4, any of’em. We’re all desperate for that map of answers, and we’re all bummed we don’t find it. And yet, we keep on, and we discover our kids are indeed having the best childhoods we can give them. Maybe they’re not the dream childhoods, but they are ones of laughter, adventure, and love, and in the end, isn’t that what’s best?

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    1. I had a good laugh at your tyoos cause I’m also watching the news with the sound off and the closed captions are so bad (looks automated) that I can’t figure out what they’re really saying. At least yours was easy and funny!!

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  3. You’ve made tremendous progress and you have shared your life with others! So many have been able to relate to your struggles. Add to that your child’s autism and the struggles you face with the British school system and we all give it to you for fighting the good fight for your son! Bless you, dear friend!

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  4. Even when you are in this parenting life for years, it is still like playing it by ear and hoping you get it right, because our kids change. No manual or book can even keep up with that. We fail and we succeed, but we never stop doing our best for them. Your journey has been encouraging to read and reminds me of what is important. Keep pressing forward. Your son loves you for being his covering and his everything. I will not pretend I know what your grief feels like, but I know that waking up every day, *choosing to be the best for your child, takes courage. Thank you for sharing this post.

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  5. Do you mind if I ask how long you’ve been a widow? From what I’ve heard, parenting in general never comes with a road map. Well, that’s not entirely true. The Bible gives some important pointers, but there are always grey areas and questions. I’m no parent, but you seem to be owning it very well. I’m glad that things don’t feel so daunting and the road doesn’t feel so long. That’s progress, indeed.

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  6. I think the definition of courage is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how rocky or pitted the path.

    I agree, that is progress in my book too. You’re doing an awesome job! This is my pat on the back for you. And, by the way, you are an inspiration to many who are often tempted to quit. Kudos to you. I am so glad you’re here sharing your experiences and in doing so helping us all carry on.

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  7. That really does sound like progress. Time really does make the road a little easier if we allow it to do its work, although Im sure the pain will never really go away but it will become a little more manageable each day. Like you say you had a reason to have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and Im sure your son is better for it.

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