Nice weather

I needed to remind myself of some nice weather as the actual weather is more like this….

Wet, wet, wet. 20 hours of non stop winter weather. I do love a Yorkshire summer. I guess we should call it grand weather for the Rhubard…..

Work is similarly frustrating. Since the so called government (sorry trying to cut back on my rants…) announced the relaxing of the rules we had a number of events put on our books for September and October. But as fast as I start to schedule them and fill in the details, THEY GET CANCELLED. Unless we manage to run a few of these then our organisation will have to mothball and hope to hibernate through to 2021. No guarantee that it would survive that. Sadly like so many other places.

I keep saying this but I do need to spend some time on employment options. Find some other options that can fit round Hawklad. But what…

“Dad maybe it’s time to take those Dummy Guides further. Take them to a whole new level. Dummy doesn’t go far enough. Must be people needing the Full Muppet Guide to Life. Only one person truly qualified for that job…..”

Thinking about it, it’s an endless source of material.

  • Muppet guide to Government (Co author Dominic Cummings),
  • Muppet guide to Brexit (Co author Boris Johnson),
  • Muppet guide to Parenting,
  • Muppet guide to IKEA flat pack furniture,
  • Muppet guide to weapons grade baking,
  • Muppet guide to finding your car keys,
  • Muppet guide to poetry and making it so unremittingly awful,
  • Muppet guide to homeschooling,
  • Muppet guide to shouting at school,
  • Muppet guide to animals taking over your home,
  • Muppet guide to falling asleep during Avatar,
  • Muppet guide to getting lost,
  • Muppet guide to putting your subway (Tube) ticket safely in your pocket and then not being able to find it as soon as a Ticket Collector appears,
  • Muppet guide to trying to remember where you were going in the first place,
  • Muppet guide to losing socks,
  • Muppet guide to getting paper jammed in a photocopier,
  • Muppet guide to learning and then forgetting a foreign language.
  • Muppet guide to becoming a famous Mills & Boon author,
  • Muppet guide to ineffective house work,
  • Muppet guide to understanding Tolkien’s Silmarillion,
  • Muppet guide to juggling,
  • Muppet guide to singing in the bath so out of tune you end up sounding like Bono and U2,
  • Muppet guide to healthy weeds,
  • Muppet guide to arm wrestling and shin kicking,
  • Muppet guide to getting the cellophane wrapper off a cd with a kitchen knife and then not being able to open a sticking plaster with the one remaining good hand,
  • Muppet guide to growing old disgracefully.

89 thoughts on “Guides

  1. I can’t tell you how many of those “Dummy” guide books I have laying around here (and reference frequently 🙂 ). The Muppet Guide books, I think, would be a huge success! I know I would probably end up with a few (like how to keep my weeds healthy – ha! Good one!).

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hey, I could co-author that Muppet Guide to healthy weeds! I have a WEALTH of examples around my house. 🙂

    Yup, everything’s all up in the air here, too. It doesn’t help when schools say things like, “We’ll evaluate the situation every week to decide the best time for kids to return.” STOP MOVING THE GOALPOSTS. One teacher told me they want kids to return in October, but “we’ll see.” That “we’ll see” is what parents tell kids when they just don’t want to say no right then and there. I wish the district would just go “Look, the unions say they’re not starting up yet but kids need to come back, so come hell or high water kids WILL return in January.” Not that I want this school at home to go that long, but I’d rather have a deadline then all this wishy-washy “let’s get started! NO LET’S CANCEL EVERYTHING.” It sucks for you as a worker, it sucks for the kids, it sucks for everyone.
    Ugh.
    Hugs. xxxxxxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Here the teachers want to wear masks but the government won’t let them yet you need to wear masks for going into shops and on the school bus. Just a mess. For a couple of weeks the government has been encouraging people to go on holiday to Spain. Perfectly safe. Even restated that on Friday. Late Saturday they announced it wasn’t safe and people had to quarantine for 14 days on there return. Holiday flights were in the air and had to turn round. Madness. All we want us honesty, tell us what you know and don’t know. That’s a start. So hope everything is great for you guys. xxxxxx

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes. It would be nice to get information. Just, give the information without the red or blue paint jobs of the political parties. Just tell us what’s up. If you’re straightforward with the information then you don’t have to worry (as much) about conspiracy theories throwing people into conflict.
        We’re making due. I know you are, too. Just keep doing your best for Hawklad xxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I can help you with the Muppet guide to growing old disgracefully. 😉

    I could also contribute the Muppet guide to Growing Nettles.

    And the Muppet guide to computers. It only needs two chapters: Chapter One — Turning it off; and Chapter Two — Turning it back on again.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Trying to like you commnet…can’t. BUT will answer it saying, from the freak weather we have had lately, winter will be with some tropical sunny spells like for 15 mins between everything else.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow!! Top picture is gorgeous!! Look at your dog just totally enjoying life!!

    Your other pictures look nice to me right now – but we currently hitting over 100… so my dry heat makes me want a little of your cold wetness lol (just a little)

    Yeah this is what is like for single parents – is hard

    When I did genealogy – haven’t in a very long time… but way back it was common for a spouse to die and they would send for another wife from their country 😮 or just quickly take someone new.

    Cause you need 2. At least. I understand – it’s very hard

    Same type boat.

    Sorry they keep cancelling still. 😔 stay strong … we can all pull through, I think??

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I am smiling wide as I read this. Hawklad makes a good point – you have within you the seeds of wonderful advice….write it out. Have you ever read the book “The book of Awesome” by Neil Pasricha? Your blog posts remind me often that no matter the challenges we can find something funny in them. And you do it so well. Pasricha has gone on to write many books on the subject of the small things that make life awesome. They are a joy to read. We need heroes like you to remind us life needn’t be so serious all the time. I would love to read your book. Please, write it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ll order “Muppet guide to weapons grade baking” and the juggling one!

    Like Robyn, my house is full of Dummies books (so much better than the Idiots series!!). If not for “Home Buying For Dummies”, I’d still be in an apartment.

    I agree with you on Bono.

    I will add “Muppet Guide To Attracting Urban Wildlife With An Emphasis On Cats”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love the top photo. It’s picture perfect. Well, it took a while, but WordPress did it again. It dropped you from my “follow” list. How dare it! Has anyone told you that you’re really good at making lists?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have a feeling that a friend and fellow blogger will be encouraging both of us to write books. You can do your Muppet Guides and I can write about taping things and writing words and how awful Peppa Pig is😂😂😂💌
    Beautiful sky! Is that sunrise or sunset??

    Liked by 1 person

  9. All of which proves you are an expert and highly talented which is what Hawklad is really saying. You might think about online Muppeting. A Muppet Masters. Though I suppose the computer would inevitably crash…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That is so true. My fear for November is that we will not have a fair and honest election, but we must do everything we can to overcome the obstacles and convince people that our very lives depend on it. x

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Agreed … I know that here, with gerrymandering, voter disenfranchisement and more, our elections have been far from fair for the poor and minorities. Sigh. That’s why an all-mail voting system would level the playing field so much, and why Trump’s fighting so hard against it.

        Liked by 1 person

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