It’s a hard life for some. Not sure if the hard life applies to The Cap or to that old sofa. The Cap is resting after a hard morning of causing chaos. This sofa is 17 years old. Over the last few years it has had to endure sustained cat and dog attention. Currently it’s covers are being washed for the millionth time.

It’s a hard life for my bottom as well. This morning I was blasting out a few miles on my equally old exercise bike when it basically fell to bits. It collapsed. One minute I was dreaming of summiting the Alpe d’Huez and leading the Tour de France. Three seconds later I’m sat on the floor surrounded by bits of exercise bike. Oh how the mighty fall. Now I know what it feels like to fall of your bike and forlornly watch the peloton scream past you.

Thankfully ten minutes later the bike was reassembled and the snapped retaining bolt replaced. The rest of the stationary ride was completed while I sat on an ice pack and a soft cushion. Bruised buttocks are not fun. But on the bright side, it’s much easier to ice pack your posterior than it is to ice pack your ego.

Bizarrely we were watching the Dora The Explorer movie last night. Yorkshire really knows how to live the dream. Near the start of the movie, poor Dora was dancing at a school ball. It was such a random odd dance that all the other kids were laughing and poking fun at her. Poor Dora, I really felt for her.

Dad she dances like you.”

Really, I’m not that bad am I….

In fact worse, much worse. At least Dora is coordinated. Your dancing is that bad, that if I’m within 50 miles of you, you are banned from any dance floor.”

The shame. How the mighty have fallen. I’m telling you that I once won a New Years Eve Blues Brothers dance competition.

That was thankfully before I was born Dad….”

It’s a hard life……

86 thoughts on “Hard life

  1. Gary, Gary, Gary. Who saw you fall off the bike, or on the bike, or watched the bike crumble under you? The fact you told us about it that if anyone saw you fall, It was either the cat, the dog, or both. Not Hawklad. Hawklad would have had some fantastic editorial piece to keep us in stitches for hours. So whose ego got hurt? Not yours. Are you a sympathy junkie, sir? I doubt it. Ah, you’re a print Comedian! Throwing out printed comedy with the broken bike bolt. Remember yesterday, a couple of readers suggested you should write a book. I think you should be a book. Then you would have to be better coordinated. Hawklad might even let you dance to within 10 smiles of him.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I hope they told you how embarassed you should be to fall off a bike at your age, for surely they ythemselves are embarassed for you, too.
        Give it up, Gary. I bet especially Captain washed your face.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There are videos of you dancing all over the internet 🙂

    Did I say YOU?
    I obviously meant Gru.
    But take comfort in knowing that DAD DANCING is a very real thing….for which there is no known cure. But you are not alone. My Dadda left us in utter bewilderment when we were at family parties and he decided to hit the dancefloor.

    #WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE’S RELATED TO ME?
    #I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT MAN BEFORE
    #MUM CAN WE GO HOME NOW? – PLEEEEEEEASE!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Always…
        …there are videos out there….but the people who own them have been threatened should they ever end up in the public domain. The one I am really worried about is when I dressed up like Tina Turner and strutted my way across the stage.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Talking bikes, I mind my friend and her hubby had graduated to a bike rack to put the boy’s bikes on when they went away on holiday that year. Only they never did it right and when he braked, the bikes fell off the roof, one wrecked their car bonnet and the other got crushed beneath the wheels. Now it was not funny but actually it was.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. My wonderful friends are no longer here but I laughed at that memory as I wrote it down. i am sure they would agree that you should laugh too. Like us at that time they didn’t have two halfpennies to rub together and they were that proud they’d managed to afford these bikes, that rack and that wee holiday. This was the answer to the ‘And how did it go?’ ‘There was another time I went in for a wine night with her. He opened the door and like that one of the boys had just booted a ball and knocked down their pc monitor all and chipped the new unpaid for desk and was f’ing blind. As I took my coat off I could hear her going, ‘And don’t you tell your grannie I used that word.’ You aye got a laugh with her.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. You gotta take your cues from Calvin of “Calvin & Hobbes”… when you fall, you immediately (or as soon as possible, we’re old) and say “Ta Da!” 😂😂It was part of the plan, right?😉

    Our couch is so bad we just throw blankets over it. Easier to wash.😂😂

    Glad you were able to fix the bike! And for the record, you can dance with me any time!! We might win some contests with our stellar moves 🤪✨💃🏼😂😂😂💌

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Blues Brothers! Ah, now there’s a duo to dance to. Was the Dora movie any good? I thought it looked like a fun Indiana Jones-style romp the kids might like while I work.

    Hugs to you from Wisconsin! We are doing our best to be well. x

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Good to know! Maybe I’ll snag it from the library.

        I’m doing better today. Depression was a bear yesterday, but I know it was because I was re-calibrating with the start of a new semester, which means a flood of new student questions. I’ve got my head back above water, and I’m treading okay. HOpefully this weekend I can even get ahead a little bit.

        Liked by 1 person

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