We are now into the second half term of the school year. That’s 8 more weeks of school at home. Hawklad is sat at home trying to do the class work. Absolutely no sign of his anxieties and fears abating. So our little family is definitely in this for the long run. The prospect of missing the complete school year is not seeming so far fetched now as he’s already missed a sixth ot it. It’s certainly no consolation that he is currently not alone in doing that. Significant numbers of the school are having to isolate. But the message is carry on, nothing to see here. So the country is in lockdown but the schools and universities are most definitely open.

So we carry on making the most of the situation we find ourselves in.

WE learn what we can.

WE includes the slightly bemused single parent.

“Dad can you help me with Citizenship. I’m stuck on one of the questions.”

He must have heard my sigh. I love helping but some subjects are just a bit of a chore. French, Design Technology, Drama (thankfully now dropped) and Citizenship. Citizenship seems to have moved on from learning about politics and how the country works. Now it’s all about drug, smoking and alcohol abuse. Not an easy area to explain to a teenager with Aspergers and anxieties.

“Dad can you look at the three photos and tell me which one is Cocaine, Spice and Marijuana. ”

Not a clue. Spice was apparently not the stuff you cook with (well I hope not).

“Have you ever taken drugs Dad then.”

Well yes to alcohol. Too much alcohol when I was younger. Thankfully completely tea total now. Apart from that it would just be the pain killers you get from the doctor. Nothing else.

Then I told him the only time I had kind of dabbled. When I was at University I went to a party and I was drinking with friends. None of us did any other drugs. Anyway one friend spotted someone smoking a joint. I can’t remember why but I was sent to try and get one for us to try. I thought it was a bad idea but that was the order. Anyway a few minutes we were passing round a fine yellow looking thing. We all agreed that it had no effect, wasn’t very good and it didn’t last very long. So I think that was hopefully the end of all our smoking drug habit.

I never did tell my friends what we were smoking. Not really your typical high. I had ripped up a page out of the telephone book. Rolled it into a cigarette shape. Yes we smoked a telephone book. It was yellow. Those in the UK may remember the Yellow Pages which each house got every year.

There you go. I’ve come clean.

53 thoughts on “Yellow Pages”

  3. Wow! That is funny? I tried smoking in the 9th grade fortunately didn’t get the habit. Both of my younger brothers got hooked and paid the price as both are disabled – one from two strokes caused by his smoking and the other one damaged his lungs and is now on oxygen. I’m glad you didn’t get hooked and gave up drinking.

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  6. Hmm…the phone book. Very creative! I had that goody-goody rep in school and way too many control issues to try much in that way. I never even really drank anything alcoholic till I was in my 30’s( a
    very rebellious and thankfully brief period in my life brought on by dating a lot of wrong guys and trying to drown depression.). Got sick of it quick, got my head on straight, met a not-wrong guy and haven’t touched a drop in 9 years. Prayers as you keep carving the path. It’s hard to see in the day to day, sometimes, but the impact you are making will be something great to look back on.

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  7. Good for you! It was a long time before I even recognized the smell. I hated smoking in any form. So innocent I was as a youngster. Now I am just a plain boring old woman. Well I did have a few moments, long ago….

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  8. Who knew that the Yellow Pages was so versatile? My father was a casual smoker. I must’ve been about six years old when I saw him smoking a cigarette and asked to try it. Wise man he was. That was my first and last attempt at smoking!

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  10. Ummm… I’m just gonna plead the 5th on the subject of drugs and alcohol.
    I will say that I don’t drink or use anything not okayed by my doctor. 😉
    But what that has to do with citizenship is as confusing as what spelling had to do with Drama. School sounds more like an indoctrination center than a place of learning. Hawklad is better off learning from Dad!
    💌💌💌

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  11. How silly! Love it. I remember when my older brother dabbled in smoking pot and I tried it a few times. Didn’t like the effect. But once when our younger brother wanted to try (and big bro didn’t have any) big brother rolled some oregano in a piece of plain paper. Our local schools have had the youngest 3 grades back in person, but with a recent rise in COVID19 cases, they’re returning to distant learning this coming week. As much as I have not really liked to have to homeschool my son, right now it’s better than dealing with our local school system.

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  13. Mother once told me she and a friend took a cigar butt and sprinkled it into some brown paper, rolled and tried to smoke it. Needless to say it was the first and last attempt at tobacco. Oh, but I also recall my ex running out of fags and attempting to smoke a teabag. WTF was he thinking? What is it with addiction? Anyways, I used to say “but for the grace of god go you or I” only seen as I don’t believe in all that, what can my saying be now? could it be “butt throw the case of sod, go I”?

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