It’s coming up to six years now. Six years since THAT YEAR. 2016. When EVERYTHING changed. I quickly scattered my mums ashes but we still have Hawklad’s mums ashes in the back room. On a mantelpiece overlooking the garden and fields beyond. There is no rush and to be fair, we have gone through a pandemic. We kinda assumed that at some some stage in the future we would get round to scatter them.

Then out of the blue.

One of her family have asked for a little portion of the ashes to spread. It’s odd I assumed it would be tough to say yes. For Hawklad, for me. Yet it wasn’t. Within seconds we both went – THATS FINE.

That’s progress. Life has moved on for both of us. The next question is where that leads.

But back to the ASHES, just maybe the hard part is still to come. The doing bit. We shall find out in a few hours.

52 thoughts on “Ashes to ashes part 1

  1. I was thinking of the pandemic, those were terrible days and now they are in the past. Hopefully nothing that serious will happen again. But life in Ukraine and in Russia life must me equally hard for all those who are affected . But life goes on.

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    1. You’re right Lakshimi Bhat, life goes on, it can thrive in the now, never really in the future or the past, it goes on in the now. All the things within each now, the feelings, the tastes, scent, sight and sounds of the moment. Right now my “now” moment is the taste of a sherbet lolly, the sight and sound of someone walking past, the Sun’s rays ☀️ streaming through the silhouettes of the shrub 🌿 outside. I notice my Achilles’ heel on my left ankle is playing up, pain shooting like a stab, stab, stab, on and off after walking today and from the 7am~5pm shift yesterday. I notice it all, but why concentrate on the ouch? Thinking this is the lovely ending of a wonderful day.

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  2. We interred my parents’ ashes in the graveyard of the church where they married. Kept Mum’s for six years and had to keep Dad’s for 18 months because of covid. It stirred up a lot of memories and was, in some ways harder than the funerals. You have my best wishes, it can be a tricky time.

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  3. I hope this milestone brings you not joy, but I guess a feeling of peace or a lightness within you. Everyday is a challenge – I am coming up to two years in July and it feels like a slow-motion blur! Big love to you and your boy as you keep on keeping on x

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  4. What seemed impossible yesterday, unthinkable for the days to come, there can come a time when thinks are possible e.g., I really never thought I’d see the day that electric cars would be so prevalent, here, there and coming out of spaces so quietly all over the Tesco car park.

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      1. Oh, oh, I have to share what happened yesterday: A posh car stopped next to us and the man asked how to get out of Carmarthen. My son said “Pray to the gods” & I started with “Well I wouldn’t have started from here” then told him directions, because that’s how we roll on our days off.

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  5. Progress, for sure. Everyone is different, but I hope you found that it too was less difficult than expected. Everything has to happen when it feels right, I think.

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  6. It sounds like you are completely following a natural process which in the end, will always lead to harmony. You don’t rush anything but wait until you feel that you are ready. That’s the best thing to do, in my opinion.

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  7. Time is the key, but yet the longer you take the longer you will remain locked in the past. If not for yourself, Gary, do it for Hawklad. I’m sure he has feelings for his mother and your wife, but keeping the ashes hinders opening the doors on your futures. His future needs opening. (So does yours.)

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  8. Gorgeous photo and hoorah for progression to you both 🙂 Have you thought of having jewellry made that holds your wife’s and Hawk’s mums ashes? Suze and l had that done with Scrappy.

    Also Gary, I have just noticed your request to the blog. Sorry for the delay in responding. I am not checking this new blog’s email daily as the blog isn’t yet live and is still being built and will not be an actual live blog till sometime in June.

    You are more than welcome to come on board the small team currently working with me on the blog creation itself; however, keep in mind that the blog isn’t yet live. It is being constructed, and new features are being added and tweaked every week.

    Hence, the initial role of the ‘reader’ is to watch and observe and comment on the flow of navigation, structure, content, and how well the administration looks visually. Once or twice a week, an administration post is published, and l highlight the works that have been performed, introduced and completed in that week and welcome comments on the changes. The admin posts are only visible for a week and then placed into the passworded archive.

    There is gallery content to view already. These go back away to establish archived content and ‘age’ the blog, so it is not so new.

    But if this quiet initial role appeals to you before Earthly Comforts goes to public viewing, you are more than welcome to join the small team. Just let me know how you feel about what l have written here.

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  9. Sending you love and my best wishes for this time. My friend is a widow of five years, so I understand a little, from the outside, of what a journey grief is. Best wishes.

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