Mid March and it’s still two jumper weather here in Yorkshire, definitely feeling way more like skiing rather than bikini weather. I would normally say, the kinda weather perfect for huddling round the fire however given the current price of home heating oil…. those two thick, warm, woolly jumpers will have to do.
It’s been quite a while since Hawklad hit 18, when he was officially signed off from the NHS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS). As there are NO equivalent adult services here, any support he received, ENDED. His care was nominally handed over to the local Doctor service. But here’s the rub, sadly local Doctors are inundated with demands. In many parts of the country, available appointments are as rare as acts of modesty from the US Orange Nutter President.
It’s hard for local Doctors to be proactive, it’s mostly a call them service. Definitely no one has been in touch with Hawklad even to just say…
“Are you ok”
Here’s what really worries me.
So many kids like Hawklad are discharged from CAMHS and are lost in the adult health care system. The need for support doesn’t miraculously end on the 18th birthday, so what is supposed to happen next….. If they have any needs or require support they have to call the local Doctor. Firstly that usually means the dreaded 8am telephone scramble for an appointment. The record I’ve had on that one is
“You are caller number 57 in the queue….”
If you eventually do get an appointment, then mostly that will be a telephone call back by a Doctor. You get at most 7 minutes to explain what’s wrong and listen to the medical response. 7 minutes flies by, ends up feeling really rushed and pressurised.
Not exactly a welcoming experience.
Unless someone makes that call for him, Hawklad won’t. He won’t put his hand up if there is a problem. Just like at school, a large class would have a teacher and one teaching assistant. If someone needed help then you had to put your hand up and ask, support wasn’t proactive. As Hawklad used to tell me…
“I’m not putting my hand up in front of all the other kids and then announcing to the world that I can’t read something, or I’m struggling.”
School would assume if no hands go up, then everything is fine, no help needed. Hawklad ended up getting little or no in class support. The same will happen with support and the Doctor’s service. He won’t be the only one feeling this way. As a result, after becoming 18, how many miss out on the support they really need.
Way too many I fear.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
You have mentioned the lack of support a few times. I sometimes wonder if as a parent/s that you would need to prepare a support line for your child instead of relying on others to do so. Unfortunately, with so many different health agencies vying for support it is becoming increasingly hard for all those vulnerable people to be supported. How as a society we deal with it is the million dollar question. This is where we need to as families support those who need it the most.
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I understand your predicament. Even in the States it’s difficult to get help for those that “age out” of social services for youths, There is help out there, but it becomes a struggle to find that “one” person (out of hundreds) that can help you. Even seniors …. the gov’t will take care of them, after they take all of their assets. I’ll keep you and hawklad in my prayers!
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As I said a number of times, move to Canada. Most provinces provide support for individuals who need 4ight until the end of their lives.
Of course, that all end if Trump annexes Canada and makes up a 51st State. Probably he will annex Venezuela and Cuba before he does Canada, which means we might become the 53rd or 54th State, depending on order of annexizatoon.
But he will never be allowed to even attack us. If he tries Canada will make the USA our 11th province!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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How did things get into such an appalling state? We are headed the same way, rapidly.
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My heart goes out to you, Gary. Could the situation be any more frustrating and worrisome? No! I hope someone within the health care system wakes up and realizes there are so many people who have been forgotten. In the meantime, Dad, continue being Hawklad’s voice and strongest advocate. You’re doing a great job! and remember: the squeaky wheel gets the grease! ❤️
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WAIT … WHAT???? Hawklad is 18???? Where have the years gone, my friend??? I’m so very sorry that he isn’t getting the resources he needs … I expected better of the NHS. Please give him a hug for me, and one for you, too, dear friend. 🥰🥰
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At least Hawklad has you as a supportive parent. I’ve worked with homeless youth &the same happens to them, their support is stopped on their 18th birthday. Most of them just carry on running till either jailed or dead 😢.
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I lost track a bit, Gary, though I understand the lack of support. Is he still in college, or registered for employment? If the latter, how does he fill his days? Hard for you both xx
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A very dismal situation of health care in UK. I’m so sorry my dear friend
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I wish I had an answer
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This is not only a lack of support. The whole health care system lacks, if there is a system at all. It seems, when you become an adult you have to make sure you are ok. Such calls are just a token of effort. Everybody knows that no support will come from there. It is so pityful that people have to “fight” for support which would exist. I am so sorry! I wish you guys were here. It may not be perfect and still a bureaucratic jungle but with the intention to reach a solution!
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It’s all wrong Gary. I can hardly believe Hawklad is 18. Support doesn’t become unnecessary because of age. It’s ongoing 24/7/365. The NHS is a joke now. Today, a neighbour was told by the GP she finally managed to see (we have a shitty triage system now that you have to fill out a form on line and submit it if you want an appointment) that he didn’t know anything about injuries. She had her foot operated on 5 weeks ago and this is the second infection she’s had. She was told to go to A&E…………… and face a 10 to 24 hour wait!!!!!
Keep fighting for him Gary.
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The Grandson, at 26, still has some support, though it has been declining over the years. He now has one support fellow who has been teaching him to cook. This has been so helpful as he will be moving out of home into a rental with a friend on the spectrum and his cousin – a girl. This is quite exciting, along with the supermarket job that continues to go quite well. However, for those currently entering the NDIS (national disability scheme) the prospects are not as good as in years past. The ‘cost’ has blown out dramatically creating the need for other solutions for those like Hawklad and my grandson. I can’t see it getting ‘better’. There are too many needing assistance, not enough support workers, and the financials involved are extraordinarily demanding on the public purse. Not a good scenario. I’ve no answer!!!
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It must be so overwhelming to go it all alone day after day. It’s the Feast of St Joseph today. Praying for miraculous help for you.
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I’m so sorry, Gary. It’s so hard and so shameful that this is how it is.
Have you considered moving? I realize it’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you have other families in your area facing similar challenges that could form a support community for each other?
I wish it wasn’t this hard for you and Hawklad.
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So sad and I am sorry. Hugs and prayers as you both learn to navigate this change.
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Totally agree that needs are going unmet, as everything is set up for those that need help to have to say “I need help”, when in fact that is the last thing a person who needs it in this way, will want to flag up.
Maybe society relies on that fact?
Maybe relying on the saying “If you don’t ask you don’t get”, because then those that are at full capacity just don’t have to do anything, don’t have to put any effort in finding work for themselves…
Maybe a lot of people who started with high hopes to make a difference have been put upon, not given the resources and therefore could now be in burn out. We all need to have the questions:
Who will look for those struggling to prevent troubles growing?
Who is going to officially take the responsibility?
Where will the help come from?
What training is needed?
I don’t have the answers, but I can think of a lot more questions!
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