The Duvet Years

Thanks to everyone who suggested new ways of fitting a duvet cover. Yesterday’s Hulk Smash and Hulk Rage look is not good. So we had a second go this morning. Unbelievably the cover was fitted with 5 minutes. Happy Days.

The Duvet looked good on our son’s bed. Even Captain Chaos was excited. This excitement seemed to build and build. Suddenly he was desperate to get up close and personal with it. Urgently sniffing at it and wagging his tail. His excitement would not stop. So he was kicked out of the bedroom. But he just sat barking at the door.

What is wrong.

So again he was let back into the room. He immediately jumped onto the bed and started scratching at the Duvet. On a closer inspection – an unusual bump in the duvet. What alien object is that. So the cover was again removed. The alien object turned out to be a very well chewed blue crocodile. Sorry folks I must have missed the part of the instructions which talked about checking for dog toys before putting the cover on….

So order is restored. The cover is back on and Captain Chaos is reunited with his buddy…

Blue Croc

Captain Chaos with his beloved blue crocodile. That poor croc needs years of therapy.

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When a parent dies it is so tough it is difficult to explain the feeling. That’s a so called adult speaking. Imagine what it’s like for a young kid.

I lost my dad when I was 21. He had been ill for years. I got the feeling during the last period of his life that he was trying to keep going just to see me graduate. Sadly he missed out by a few months. It was a numbing experience but the pain was mitigated a bit as I had been expecting it to happen for ages. I was sort of prepared. My mum died a couple of years back. It was a complete shock. But a five years earlier she had suffered a massive stroke. Doctors told us to prepare for the worst. Yet in a month she was back in her house – still able to live independently. In some respects it felt like the years after the stroke were a real bonus. She got to spend time with her grandson.

But for our son we have no mitigating factors. He had just been to his beloved grannies funeral and a week later his mum goes into hospital for some routine tests. His mum deteriorated rapidly and completely unexpectedly. He was visiting his mum in the hospice two weeks later. For someone so young that’s devastating.

We still get tears but now he can talk about his mum. He can laugh at the good memories. But the anxieties caused by that period of death are still impacting his daily life. He is so worried about becoming ill and also about losing others close to him. Today is common. We have had anxiety about catching illnesses. Worries about dying. On top of that every time I sneeze or cough he runs to make sure I’m ok. We try to find ways to ease the anxieties but it is still so tough for him…..

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Son comes back from school to be greeted by Captain Chaos and a well chewed croc. That’s one thing that works.

Sequel

When you need a smile here comes our own member of the Avengers. Captain Chaos.

As we surveyed the second attempt at a fudge cake.

Well Dad the first one was burnt to a crisp. However the sequel has completely collapsed in the middle and smells of curry….”

This brought on a discussion about sequel (sort of) films.

Son thought the Depp Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was warmer and did not feature Charlie breaking rules. In his opinion Mike TV should have won the first movie.

The first Guardians of the Galaxy beating the sequel. Son believing the second was too sad at times.

The second Paddington movie just edging out the first one. Son thought the first one had a better story but the second was funnier.

The first Home Alone winning over its sequel. Son thought Kevin was just too annoying in the second and that the poor criminals were just unnecessarily tortured.

The second Jumanji edging the first one. Son found the second one just a bit more funny.

Any thoughts. Now onto the third fudge cake attempt.

Looks don’t tell the full story.

The boy cat has six talents:

  • Getting stuck up trees, wardrobes, roofs …..,
  • Eating,
  • Opening Doors,
  • Missing his litter tray – halfway up the wall is his latest favourite,
  • Tripping people up,
  • Sleeping.

I don’t know who he is so good at sleeping. Nothing wakes him. This photo might suggest a scene of tranquility and quiet. No. Only two yards away the mad dog is going ballistic. Currently barking at 110dB as he tries to get the attention of his friends the sheep. I wish I could sleep like that.

Face of evil

This is the face of evil. An entity so without remorse. So utterly malevolent that even the likes of Thanos and Professor Moriaty won’t mess with her. Her name Daisy…

This weeks role call of shame:

  • Pulled not one but two sets of curtains down,
  • Ripped to shreds the floor mop,
  • Smashed a picture frame after she decided to would be kinda fun to whack it with her paw,
  • Somehow managed to delete an important file when she decided to sit on my computer keyboard,
  • Twice scoffed all the dogs food,
  • Sat on the boy cats food bowl so he couldn’t get to his food,
  • Used a sofa cushion as a scratching pole,
  • Used the corner of the sofa as a scratching pole,
  • Completely decimated the dogs favourite cuddly teddy bear,
  • Bit the head off one of our son’s favourite wrestling figures,
  • Somehow gained access to my wardrobe and covered all my black clothes with white hairs,
  • Chewed the corner off a £5 note,
  • Knocked a full bowl of porridge onto the carpet,
  • Deliberately pushed the boy cat into the toilet as the poor cat was sat on the edge having a closer inspection (wish I had captured the moment, it was both vindictive and truly funny at the same time).

All these evil doings while giving me that “what are you going to do about – do I care” look…..

Truly an apex predator.

Cat Stew

Sometimes wonderful views take your breath away. This was taken on our last holiday. While my partner and son slept I would sneak out for an early morning run. The run would take me along a path which ran along the edge of Lake Thun. It was just stunning.

Sometimes it’s other things that take your breath away.

Last night I had made a stew. I left my steaming plate of food on the kitchen table while I delivered our son his stew and 2 tons of tomato ketchup. Crash. On my return to the kitchen I had an out of body experience. We have a very accident prone boy cat. Yes you have guessed it. He was lying in my stew. Waiter there appears to be a cat in my food. He was covered in gravy and vegetables completely oblivious to the world. He seemed most puzzled when I pushed him onto the floor. He was even more puzzled and slightly terrified as the dog decided to feast on the four legged plate. My option b meal, a cuppa soup was far less appetising.

I’m still finding bits of stew strewn around the house.

Usually the dog won’t have anything to do with the boy cat. His bestie is the girl cat. However today it’s a different story. Now he’s discovered the boy cats talent as a mobile dinner plate. He is hopefully following him around trying to be friends. Let’s hope the boy cat has learnt his lesson as tonight it’s a curry.

World War petZ

All hell broke out today. Sat with a hot drink trying to convince the laptop that the Excel Macro I had just produced was in fact perfect and not full of errors WHEN

The two cats and dog started scampering around the house like crazed banshees. Chairs crashing into walls, photos knocked off tables, books sent flying. I found the Living Room in a state of destruction as if World War Z had broken out. Three pets clawing and scratching at the bottom of a large sideboard. Oh bugger have we got a visitor and it’s the hunt. Annoyingly the sideboard had a small gap at the bottom big enough for a hiding space but too small to squeeze my hand into. Wonderful going to have to move that 8 tonne chunk of wood. Have to try and rescue the trapped creature.

Could it be a scary House Mouse

Could it be a deadly little shrew

OR is it

one of these little plastic Dalek (Dr Who) megalomaniacs.

Yes after breaking my back, trapping my fingers and squashing my toes – the sideboard was finally moved to reveal a DALEK. Yes the little darlings had been having a fantastic time warping adventure game. The pets excitedly claimed the prize and continued the game in another room. Well that was 2 hours well spent. Unfortunately now the 8 tonnes of wood have to moved back and the pets can’t help because they are too busy saving the earth from a Dalek invasion. Deep Joy!!!!!!

Dad sit down

Today was supposed to be a full on work day. But again the Laptop had other ideas. Clearly it was an update day. Luckily my old tablet came to the rescue. A slow rescue but it was a rescue. I did find a use for my laptop. As it updated it got warm and a nice warm thing is too much for a dog to resist. So my laptop is now an expensive comfort blanket to sleep on.

When our son arrived back from school he was smiling. One of those smiles.

“Dad sit down”

No it’s ok

“Dad no I think you should sit down”

Ok I’m sat down, go on hit me with it.

“Well I tried doing the work with my left hand. It was bad. Anyway for the Games Lesson I was sent to a teachers room. I was told that I could do my homework. I told the teacher that I had no homework which needed doing. So she said I should just get a book from the shelf or do something educational on the iPad. I just sat and tried to play Crossy Roads for an hour. I beat your record.”

Well that wasn’t too bad, maybe next time find something rather than a game to do. Certainly don’t beat your dads best score…

That’s not all. During one of the lessons I banged my right hand on the desk. It really hurt. But the teacher just told me to carry on working”

That’s not good. I’m going to speak to the Head about that.

“Not finished yet Dad. They have decided which options all the kids are doing for the next term. I was told that I couldn’t do the option I selected because of my hand so they told me that I have to do another one. They have given me the Book Reading class. Do you think they have forgotten I’m dyslexic.”

The Book Reading Class for a dyslexic. You couldn’t make it up.

Boxing Day

We have had a decent anxiety free run really helped by the enforced absence from school. But the settled spell started to break down last night. The first indication was during watching the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. Clearly our son was becoming increasingly unsettled by the film (has seen it before and enjoyed it). To the point it was abandoned before halfway.

A few minutes later son was being sucked into the dreaded anxiety vortex.

Again it was concerns over school. Less than 2 weeks before he had to return to that dreaded place. Poor support. Too much homework. New Exams. Does he have to re-revise for the exams he missed. Doesn’t want other kids to poke fun at his dyslexia. Too many weeks until the next school holiday…..

To the backdrop of a repeated pig oinking noise as the dog happily played with his new toy we tried to talk things through. At 11pm we agreed to abandon trying to find a solution. Let’s just try and kick this into the long grass for the next week. Try to enjoy the time off. So we started a little game. The game is to try and guess the other persons answer to a multi choice question. The loser has to play bad tasting jelly bean roulette (a silly Christmas present).

If we won the lottery which of the following would you want to do first and which would you least want to do.

  • Live in the Amazon jungle for a month
  • Climb Everest
  • Go into space
  • Sail to the bottom of the sea
  • Drive around a racetrack in a F1 car.

We have until lunchtime to come up with our own preferences and guess the others answers. Which do you think our son would go for? Will report back.

But at least it has stopped the anxiety vortex turning into a full on storm for a few hours anyway. Or maybe it’s difficult to have a complete meltdown to the background sound of a pig getting repeatedly chewed.