Terrible Poetry

It’s Terrible Poetry time thanks to our very own Chelsea Owens. This week the guidelines are

  1. Our Topic is Halloween. Write something SCARY!
  2. As is usual, the Length is up to you.
  3. Rhyming is also up to you. Frighten us with what you do.
  4. Just Make it terrible! Make the very souls of the Wal-mart imps moan in agony and terror at the thought of your verses.
  5. The Rating’s fine at PG-13 or cleaner.

You have till midnight of All Hallow’s Eve, 12:00 a.m. MSTnext Friday morning (November 1) to submit a poem to Chelsea.

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I did promise to incorporate some pre-determined words into the poem but to my eternal shame I’ve completely forgotten them. SORRY.

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The moon is full

It’s time for blood on the wool

Halloween terror

Your in the wrong place, a deadly error

Knifes sharpen

The atmosphere slowly darkens

The clock ticks

While the madman plays his tricks

This is sick

As bad as the worst horror flick

Witches potion

An unpredictable explosion

Straight from hell

Too horrific for Slasher Motel

Frankenstein creation

A Poltergeist apparition

Beyond X rated

The result is pure evil hatred

All hope is forsake

Dads been trying to bake a SPONGE CAKE

Halloween 5

And Halloween is complete as the Pumpkin has been carved. We had an ambitious plan to this year produce our very own Orange Darth Vader. Unfortunately the plan failed to take account of my complete incompetence and our selection of that Pumpkin which was discarded in the corner of the shop.

Dad I feel sorry for that one. Let’s give that one a home.

So after many cut fingers our Pumpkin has been born.

It’s no Darth Vader. So it needs a name. Is it.

Donald

Mr Clever

Darwin Watterson

OR Oompa

Halloween 4

**** sorry WP is fighting back – trying to fix it *******

Time for our top 5 Halloween playlist’s.

First our son

Alter Bridge – Metalingus

A song just too cool it would be wrong not to play at any time of year.

Press here to play the Metalingus song

Scooby Doo Intro

Press here for time travel to your childhood

Alice Cooper – Feed My Frankenstein

Press here for a bit of Alice

Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear The Reaper

Press here for that song from Halloween

Alvin and the Chipmunks – Gangnam Style

This is shocking and scares the pants of my Dad.

Alviiiiiinnnnn Video

Now it’s his Dad’s turn

Metallica – Enter Sandman

Press here for Enter Sandman

Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath

Had to include the band named after a Boris Karloff horror movie

Press here for a bit of Birmingham’s finest.

Monster Mash

Press here for a blast from the past

Rocky Horror Time Warp

Press here for and you will be dancing in seconds

Ghost – Cirice

Press here for a seriously spooky band

Halloween 3

This Halloween has to make our son happy. Failure is not an option. Best way to achieve that simple goal was to let him choose what spooky activities we will fill our time with. At the start of the week he came up with his list.

  1. Make a Pumpkin Head. But this year Dad let’s try not to make the poor soul look like Donald Trump. That’s just not fair on any fruit. *** I thought it was a vegetable. Every day is a school day.
  2. Halloween Costume. Dad I think we should try and go for a Freddie look. We don’t buy a costume we see what we can rustle up. I guess the mad dog will want his party hat on again.
  3. Watching as many Scooby Doo DVDs as we can find. Finish off with his three favourites. Boo Brothers, Kiss and Witches Ghost.
  4. Watch a Hammer Horror movie. These are atmospheric but relatively tame these days.
  5. Have a Lego building competition. This year it’s who can make the best haunted castle.
  6. Make a spooky music playlist.
  7. Make up a Halloween story. Dad this year I think it’s a couple of kids stuck in a scary computer game.
  8. Play our two Top Trump Monster packs.
  9. Any TV has to be spooky related like Ghostbusters.
  10. Monster knockout competition to decide the greatest ever horror character.
  11. Apple Bobbing
  12. Late night reading in the garden of Hound of the Baskervilles.
  13. All dog walks have to be after dark.
  14. Build a garden monster out of what we can find lying around. Then leave it for nature (or the dog) to dispose.
  15. Halloween treasure hunt in the garden to find hidden objects like chocolate bars.
  16. See what spooky food and drinks we can invent.
  17. Eat the cookie/biscuit game. Put a cookie on your forehead and then without using your hands try to somehow get the cookie into your mouth and it’s the first person to eat the cookie wins.
  18. Jelly Bean roulette. We have stocked up on some new flavours. Cat food, Snail, Earthworm, Earwax, Squid.
  19. Make Pumpkin Chilli Soup. Even I can manage that.

Have we missed anything. Any more cool ideas?

Halloween 2

Ok son what cartoons would you like to see for Halloween?

Dad sounds like a top 5 of cartoons or kids movies for Halloween would be.

  • ScoobyDoo – not sure you need much more than this but
  • Gravity Falls – but needs to be the Weirdmaggedon ones
  • ParaNorman
  • Ghostbusters
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas

Ok Dad what’s yours but I bet I can think of one you will put in. You would put it in for Christmas, Easter and even Valentines…

Am I that predictable son

  • Captain Scarlett and the Mysterons – I knew it Dad…..
  • Penguins of Madagascar but has to be the one with Skipper as a Zombie
  • Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit
  • Charlie Brown – Its the Great Pumpkin
  • Coraline

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So that’s our choices. Any other ideas greatly appreciated.

Halloween 1 – Scary things

Dad tell me the Top 5 things that scare the pants off you. I bet they are different to mine.

So here goes then.

  1. Donald Trump and Boris Johnson running countries.
  2. Dentists
  3. Wasps
  4. Bono’s singing
  5. Heights

But Dad you are supposed to be a climber.

I’m fine as long as I don’t look down. I would climb in really dark sunglasses so I couldn’t see very far. Ok son what’s your 5 things that scare the pants off you.

  1. Death
  2. Climate change
  3. Trump being within a few feet of the nuclear button
  4. Beetroot
  5. Giraffes

So that’s our scary pants 5. What’s yours then?

Come on it’s Friday

So like the weather we crash into the weekend. This photo was taken minutes before the heavy rain rushed in. It’s time to batten down the hatches for 24 hours.

For 10 brief minutes a delightful dry run in sublime autumnal colours. What followed was a long and protracted slog through a mud bath and driving rain. One step forward and two back. Seriously doubting if I could make the climbs which had been done countless times before. Soul destroying. No fun anymore just hard labour. Frigid isolation in this hostile environment. Doubting my sanity. What am I doing here.

It’s been a perfect microcosm of this week.

A week which has rapidly gone downhill. A long hard slog giving my soul a good kicking. Leaving my mojo and my confidence in tatters. Almost complete social isolation. Never ending pain from dental work. Failure to find solutions to home, school and work problems. Error strewn days. The house is filled with echoes of the past. Even blogging has been harder than usual. The words seem to be failing me. Three draft posts on Aspergers and one on Dyslexia deleted. Just not good enough. Not sure I trust myself enough to venture there. But then life interrupts my meltdown.

We have crashed into Friday. It’s also the start of the half term week holidays. It’s Halloween week. Remember the number one priority. The only one that matters in the end.

Give son the best childhood possible.

So it’s time to put my game face on. Work can wait until son has gone to bed. Halloween gives endless scope for creative fun. My problems will be pushed into the background by boundless youthful energy released by the school gates closing. I’m sure they will be back but just not this week. That’s not allowed.

Only one possible song to leave you with. Mr Alice Cooper and Schools Out.

Schools Out – Live

I want that hat

Halloween update.

Just finished watching ParaNorman. My son loves the film. It makes him cry but also laugh. I think the themes of being an outcast and loss resonate with him. It does the same to me.

Mr Trumper the Party Pumpkin has lost his hat. The puppy kept wagging his tail, going crazy and knocking the pumpkins party hat off. Eventually we gave up and tried the hat on the dog. Dog is currently trotting around the house like he is the bees knees. Got to find Trumper a new hat, don’t want him losing his temper. Not on Halloween.

Halloween

We have some odd pets. This time it’s the big boy cat. For some strange reason as soon as we light the candle, the boy cat has to sit next to the pumpkin. If we move the pumpkin, the cat follows. Last year he did the same. Bizarre.

Halloween can be an odd time for our son. Before the world changed he loved the whole Halloween experience. Making the scariest pumpkin possible. But after his mum died it took on a different meaning. In his eyes it became a transition date. The cross over between the time he associates with death and funerals to the period of happiness and life. Over the last two years the period running up to Halloween has brought 3 major deaths – probably 3 out of the 4 closest family members. The period after Halloween brings fireworks, Christmas and anniversary of welcoming the mad dog into the family.

Halloween has now evolved into a mix of reflection for what has gone and for a celebration of happier times. Hence the pumpkin has now moved from the scariest possible to a sort of party boy. This is no bad thing.

Maybe the cat is waiting for the party to start. Waiting for ‘Trumper’ to start the festivities. I didn’t ask my son why he called this years pumpkin, Mr Trumper. I assume it’s because of the trumpet like thing in his mouth – can’t possibly think of anything else that the pumpkin could be named after….