Tom Cruise has been filming some scenes for the latest Mission Impossible movie about 15 miles away from here. Doing the usual spy capers….fighting on top of a speeding steam train.
Usually he’s trying to save the world from apocalypse….
If he’s braving the Yorkshire weather then it must be a really big world threat this time. Something truly horrifying must be going down in Yorkshire. In a separate note I’m about to bake a cake.
“Dad can we switch this movie off. I’m feeling very uncomfortable with this.”
Son loves Marvel movies but for some reason he just can’t handle Spider-Man Homecoming. It’s just that one movie. The other Spider-Man movies he really enjoys. Certain movies just throw him. It starts off with him fidgeting then he is not able to look at the screen. Then he starts to pacing about. Finally he has to leave the room until it’s switched. Last night a few minutes later he was happily watching a Wolverine movie.
I remember the first film he did this with. We had gone to see Hotel Transylvania at the cinema. Within 15 minutes we had left. We ended up watching another movie and he enjoyed it.
So some movies just get to him. The last Joker movie is another we switched off quickly yet he loves all the other Batman films, even the much darker ones.
It’s so unpredictable. Just can’t anticipate these movie meltdowns. The problem movies don’t have a common theme. Last year a nondescript Disney Christmas movie set him off. At Easter the Pixar movie UP caused another meltdown. It’s not that they are scary. They are not more sensory than other ones. Not louder and not more violent. It’s not about death. We have never been able to pin the reason down.
But at least he knows that as soon as he gets the feeling that a movie is wrong then he can just switch it off. No questions will be asked and we will find another one to watch.
“Dad it’s like you and your football team. ”
He is so right. These days watching them play is deeply unsettling and often requires me to look the other way….
I couldn’t sleep last night so I did that dreaded late night hobby. TV Channel Hoping. Normally a channel has about 20 seconds to catch my attention before I’ve moved on to the next televisual experience. Well one channel caught my attention for all the wrong reasons.
An American news channel which happened to be talking about Autism. Basically a so called expert was talking about curing people on the spectrum. The magic bullet was a combination of new drugs and intensive psychotherapy. That way apparently individuals can fit better into society by being cured.
Read that as Reprogramming and squeezing individuals into socially acceptable moulds.
I’m not going to get into the details of this crap but one thing did strike me about the expert. The expert kept talking about those on the spectrum having no empathy and no sense of humour.
Ok…..
Randomly I would like to list some of Hawklads favourite movies and shows. Ones which make him laugh and giggle.
Monty Python and The Holy Grail
Monty Python and The Life of Brian
Fawlty Towers
Red Dwarf
Deadpool 2
Airplane
Ghostbusters 1 and 2
All the Men in Black movies
ScoobyDoo
Penguins of Madagascar
Ice Age
Ant Man
Guardians of the Galaxy
Groundhog Day
Scrooged
Bill and Ted
Any Pink Panther movie
Dumb and Dumber
The Naked Gun
Horrible Histories
Black Adder
Gravity Falls
The Simpsons
Sponge Bob
Johnny English
Any Will Ferrell movie
Ace Ventura
Wayne’s World
The new Jumanji movies
Twins
Kindergarten Cop
Mall Cop
Bill
Yonderland
So many more…. Anyway apparently no sense of humour…..
The old rose bush is going strong. Maybe a little frayed round the edges.
We had been watching the Will Smith movie, Gemini Man. Trying not to give the story away, basically you get a bit of the younger self getting to see the 50 year old version of yourself.
Hawklad was giving me a Paddington Bear stare.
“Dad will I end up looking like you.”
Absolutely. The spitting image.
“Really. What a nightmare.”
Its ok Hawklad, only joking. No you probably won’t. Apart from my eyelashes you are tending to look more like your mum.
“What with the boobs.”
NOoooo. Your winding me up now. Excluding the female stuff, your face and hair is much more like your mums.
“I do hope I have mums hair rather than yours!”
Stop it. I’m not sure about your body shape coming from me as well. Your going to be way taller and slimmer than anything from my side. Your definitely more elf than average size Gimli.
“But the Orc runs strong in you Dad.”
That would explain my hairy legs and lack of dress sense.
“Explains your cooking as well..”
True. But you are taking after your mums side of the family on body. I’m sure your male ancestors were frequently well over 6ft and slim.
“So basically I might just end up just having your eyelashes.”
Yes Hawklad.
“That’s a relief. This movie was becoming a bit of a horror show every time I looked at you…..”
*******
A cheeky smile fell across Hawklads face as he once again had successfully roasted his Dad.
We are running out of sun cream this summer….. So need protecting from the unbroken sun beating down on parched Yorkshire……
Over time you find ways to protect your inner self and your family. Unlike sun protection, these things are needed frequently here. With Son’s Aspergers he can suffer with severe anxiety attacks. To be fair I struggle as well. But over time you find ways to block out the anxieties for a little while. For me the best blocking techniques are running, exercise, music and climbing. With Son it’s dreaming, talking and watching wrestling. One thing that works for BOTH of us is watching movies.
I remember being told by various parents that I should limit screen and TV time. It’s bad for all kids. Apparently it’s ok for the same parents to watch as much TV as they like. Ok. We need to remember that all kids are different. Unique personalities. What works for one child may not be suitable for another. In the case of our Son, movies help brake the downward descent into an awful anxiety whirlpool. So when he needs to, he can watch a movie. If it takes two movies, then it’s back to back cinematic viewings. I guess the ultimate would be to watch the entire Marvel Universe in one sitting…..
The other upside to movies is that it helps with my anxieties as well. It’s good sometimes to forget the current world and just escape. Son tends to be in full control of the movie schedule. His choices will work for me. Often these are cartoons. That suits me just fine as I’m a big kid at heart. Nothing better than 90 minutes of ScoobyDoo or Ice Age. Part of me secretly would love to be deposited in one of those cartoon worlds. They always feel so much safer and more fun than ours.
Well the other night we both needed a bit of cheering up. So we sat in front of the TV and Son scanned the available options. Which Scooby movie would he pick. He might even pick a Marvel epic. This is going to be so cool…. Five minutes later we were watching the Playmobil movie.
Now that was not what I was expecting. Son hasn’t played with a Playmobil toy since he was about 4. Ok I will just grin and bare it. Well I will go to the bottom of our garden. WE both loved it. So much so that when I couldn’t sleep during the night, I watched it again. Ok that’s my rock and roll credentials blown out of the water but so be it. Yes its not going to get any Oscars but it certainly wins on the anxiety blocking scale. Now am I too old to get out the Playmobil figures……
Unbelievably while writing this ….the sun has come out. Where is the sun cream.
Sometimes sitting in the garden feels like the biggest ever BIG SCREEN.
“Dad I’ve really got use to our home based movie nights. I was thinking that I’m not sure I ever want to go to the cinema again. Too many people. Too much stress.”
Going to the cinema has always been a bit of a lottery with our Son. We need to carefully manage the process. Arrive before the queues start to form. Carefully select a movie time which will be quiet. Sit on the very front row as this is likely to be empty and you won’t get anyone in front of you. Then keep you fingers crossed that no one sits close to us. Wait till everyone else has left before we depart. So many stress points for both our son and parents. We’ve had to leave movies within minutes (or even before they have started). Slowly the number of movies he would endure the cinema stress would reduce rapidly. Before the virus took hold it was down to just Marvel movies. So no I am not surprised that he’s backing away from cinemas. Sadly I think he won’t be the only one.
It’s not helped that our cinema options are limited. The only cinema he would go to in the end was a large muliplex in the city. It ran early morning showings which where usually empty. Unfortunately they have redesigned the cinema. Bigger, armchair like seats have been installed. Bigger seats means less seats. Less seats means fewer chances to find space. Which means the screenings feel so much busier. For someone with Aspergers that is a major issue. So are the cinema trips over? Well if they are then I have so many memories from them
Photo from Trip Adviser
So just maybe our cinema days are over for the foreseeable future. That’s kinda sad but if that makes our Son happier then that’s fantastic. There is something reassuringly nice about watching a movie premiere wearing your old comfy jogging pants with a big bowl of popcorn on your lap. Also in full control of the movie options, so we can decide to switch films at any stage. So here’s to the days of the home based cinematic experience. Time to create some new memories.
I’ve done my Sunday morning exercise session. The poor bike is a bit like me, during every session something either stops working, starts creaking or drops off. So the bike is going into therapy for a day or so. Can’t think of a worse punishment than having my large behind perched on you for that length of time.
So now I’m sat outside. Now that’s a rarity. Sat with my iPad typing these ramblings. This is my view.
Apologies for the legs and yes my trainers are in real need of replacement. Actually forget the trainers, my body is in need of replacement. I’ve used this one up, can I have another one.
During the lockdown I just haven’t found the time to sit outside and relax. Where does the time go. Its not as if I am undertaking any huge Home Makeover projects or painting a landscape masterpiece. I guess it’s a reminder of the investment you need to make when you signup to a parenting gig. The greater the investment, the higher the chance that your parenting will actually prove worthwhile for your kids.
But this sunny morning I’ve found the time to sit for a few minutes. The main reason is that I’ve just seen the weather forecast. It’s back to proper Yorkshire weather this week. The next scheduled settled sunny spell is not forecast until sometime in 2024. So I had better make the most of that bright yellow thing in the sky while it’s still here.
Looking at the view and the sun slightly hidden by early morning thin mist, reminds me of the ending to last nights movie. The last Star Wars movie. I won’t give away the ending or the key story moments. Mainly because I am waiting for our Son to explain them to me. I found switching off the brain and ignoring the inevitable questions, actually turned the movie into a really fun adventure yarn. Visually and sound wise it was stunning. However the repeated interjections from my resident film critic suggested a few too many issues with the storyline. The general message seemed to be – I’ve not seen so many plot holes since we watched the Alvin and The Chipmunks Road Chip Movie.
And with that the clouds have moved in. So like the current Star Wars story arc, our summer is FINISHED…
My neighbours bird bath. Over the years it has become increasingly hard to fill. Thankfully the Yorkshire weather usually takes care of that.
Yesterday was a decently fun day. Any day with Pizza helps. We played football in the garden. Son fired a million questions at me. Including the following belter.
“Name 10 best things about Torquay”
We had been watching John Cleese in old episodes of Fawlty Towers. It’s set there.
“Son your going to annoyingly tell me that you know 10 such facts”
“Actually 17 facts Dad”
I whispered a silent bugger under my breathe.
We then tried to watch the new Joker movie. I was watching it thinking the acting is brilliant but I’m not enjoying this in the slightest bit. Then son broke my thought pattern.
“Dad I’m really not in the mood for this. I enjoy a good bit of Joker but this isn’t a Joker movie. It’s a movie about how a country fails to deal with mental health and how people look down on others who are different. I don’t like the way the film is doing it. Let’s watch it another day.”
So ten minutes later we had the new Shaun The Sheep movie on. That there is a movie.
But I understand what our son was talking about. Not the right time or mood for this Joker movie. There is too much going on in the world. It is also Mother’s Day in the UK. That’s one of THOSE days…. I must admit the social distancing has severely restricted our visits to the shops. That means less chance to walk past all the cards, flowers and potential gifts. Dealing with it for just one day is better than having it rammed down our throats for weeks on end.
I must admit this one has been less painful than the other ones we have endured. We have wished our lost mums a happy day. In my partners case we have kissed the ashes. Then so far we have gotten on with the job of making the most of today. My heart does go out to many mums today. Because of the restrictions and other factors outside of their control, they may not see kids and grandchildren today (or for many days to come). I really hope a way is found for a connection to be made. A text, a video call, a card, a cute photo, a virtual hug or a telephone call saying ‘I LOVE YOU’.
Stay safe and to all mums out there. Sending you a big hug. Thank you for being super heroes.
It’s December. Its still sunny and its that time of year when you watch those movies you wouldn’t dream of watching during the rest of the year. It was like that before the world changed. It’s like that after the world changed.
But one teeny weeny request.
Please filmmakers and TV schedulers can we try not to do Christmas movies that at some stage involves death. Death of a parent, death of a lover, death of a pet, death of a main character. Last year we watched festive movies which without warning introduced the mum dying (3x), the dad dying (x1), grandparent dying (x1) and the family pet dying (x2). Really it’s CHRISTMAS. I know it’s hard to believe but many of us out here in viewing land will be going through grief. But it doesn’t stop there. I remember our son saying this during one particularly happy start to a film.
Why is it that so many films have a single dad whose either bad tempered, drinking and gambling. And the child who is behaving badly, has no friends and is being bullied. It’s never just a nice dad and child who are doing ok just a bit sad.
So what’s the answer apart from watch Guardians of the Galaxy on loop. Oh hang on that’s got a mum death. Ok apart from watching Big Hero 6 on loop. Oh hang on the robot dies. Ok part from watching Muppets Christmas Carol on loop.
Well the answer is a new movie classification system. One which actually tells you what the movie is really about. So for example if a PG movie contains a parent death you could label it PG-PD. Or if a pet dies it could be labelled PG-PED. Or if a loveable main character dies PG-LMCD. So as a parent I would be pre informed of the upcoming sadness. That way I can make an informed decision on if we should find another film.
So Big Hero 6 would be classified in the UK as PG-LMCD. Guardians of the Galaxy would be 12-PD.
But the new movie classification system could go further. Suddenly the movie watcher could be truly enlightened.
-JWTT all the best bits are in the movie trailer (Just Watch The Trailer)
-F movie contains super delicious looking Food (helpful for those trying to stick to a diet)
-A movie contains alcohol drinking (for those trying to give up)
-K movie contains Kissing (this ones for our Son, he doesn’t like kissing)
-ET movie contains Expensive Toys which kids may start wanting
-S movie contains Snakes and Spiders (useful for Ophidiophobia and Arachnophobia)
-L movie is Long so you had better go on the toilet before hand
-I movie is so boring that it’s a cure for Insomnia
-TD movie contains a Transport accident or Disaster (for those travelling tomorrow)
-AC movie contains Alvin and The Chipmunks
-NPCS this ones really important to stop wasting 10 minutes waiting for the Credits to finish at the end of the movie. It’s always a bit awkward being the only ones left in the cinema. No Post Credit Scene.
-W movie contains a Wrestler trying to act (think Hulk Hogan)
-WR movie contains The Rock acting (we like him)
-ANS movie has Action but No Story so you can safely fast forward between the action scenes
-HD movie claims to be true but is Historically Dodgie (think Braveheart)
-Q movie is very Quiet so probably not a good idea to get a mega sized popcorn tub
-U2 movie contains a grotesque playing of a Bono song.
Ok son what cartoons would you like to see for Halloween?
Dad sounds like a top 5 of cartoons or kids movies for Halloween would be.
Ok Dad what’s yours but I bet I can think of one you will put in. You would put it in for Christmas, Easter and even Valentines…
Am I that predictable son
******
So that’s our choices. Any other ideas greatly appreciated.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 