Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Hugs

How do you hug cautiously?

So the great UK coming out of lockdown started today. You can go inside pubs, restaurants, museums, comedy clubs….. You can hug. You can travel. We are on the way back to normal. Everything is good to go.

But then the mixed messages. Hang on our daily COVID cases are stubbornly high, higher than when we first went into lockdown. We have the Indian variant doubling in size every week. We have significant local outbreaks which are having to be managed. Large numbers of the young have not been vaccinated. The long term effectiveness of the vaccines against the variants is still not confirmed.

So we kind of reopen with everyone just making up their own rules. Some will be masked. Some will sometimes wear a mask. And others will refuse to wear a mask. Mixed messages. It’s either completely sorted and no need for any social distancing going forward. Or it’s we need to be cautious and stay safe, we need to keep social distancing. Or it doesn’t really matter whatever we do as we will be back in lockdown soon.

Never has HUGGING been so complicated….

So please feel free to hug anyone you want to as long as you hug cautiously. Cautiously hug doesn’t mean wearing masks but it might be an idea to do so if you are being cautious. Kissing might be ok but only if it’s a cautious kiss.

“Dad did I just hear Johnson tell us to go out and hug people”

Yes he did say that.

“I’m not hugging anyone, not even if that smeg head tells me to…..”

No I didn’t think you would. You haven’t hugged me since you were a toddler. You quickly worked out your preferred way of showing affection for your Dad was to smash him over the head with the nearest toy, book or item of cutlery.

“Dad that’s much more hygienic. I had no idea where you had been….”

Just remember your partly me. My DNA runs through you. Having said that if you are lucky my genes are concentrated in your long eyelashes and your posterior.

“If I get a flabby, hairy bum then I know who to blame and it’s definitely not mum. Anyway I am doing what the government is telling me to do with hugs. I’m hugging cautiously. I’m not hugging anyone…..”

That’s definitely cautious…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 36 Comments

Hindsight

According to the Government this morning it was impossible to forecast the emergence of the Indian COVID Variant in the UK. People should stop being ‘Captain Hindsight’. Which is odd as scientists, doctors, opposition parties, other Governments, some in the media and even the Governments own advisers were warning about it when the the variant first emerged in India in February. All calling for stricter border checks, more robust monitoring, even border restrictions until the vaccination programme was completed. But no. Nothing happened again. The horse bolts and then a big thing is made of Boris Johnson then partly closing the stable doors when it’s too late. The UK now has the second highest concentration of the Indian variant in the world now, second only to India.

The UK COVID border process has since the pandemic started been somewhere between nonexistent and a joke. I don’t understand why for this Government. A Government so quick to permanently remove free travel rights for its own citizens across Europe. A Government which is so quick to close borders to immigrants and refugees. So quick to deport any group deemed as ‘unwanted here’. Yet when it comes to a pandemic it is so set against border control. But what do you expect from a Government that has now decided to switch COVID public advice away from trained medics to outsourced call staff with no medical background.

But what does hindsight count for anyway. Maybe this scary fact. Currently at the height of worlds worst outbreak, in India the average COVID deaths per 100,000 stands at just below 20. In the UK , the average COVID related deaths per 100,000 stands at 191…..

What was the quote our Prime Minister is alleged to have said – let the bodies pile high…… Well he got his wish. All without hindsight.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 42 Comments

And more work emails

So a few more hours of work. More work emails. More searching for the work stuff amongst the never ending personal reviews of restaurant meals, pub visits and nights out. Month after month of lockdown has sent a few too many at work into email padding frenzy.

Well this afternoon I was sitting with the computer on the lap and wading through the work crud. I was listening to the Ghostbusters movie blast out on the TV. I was good, I didn’t watch the movie but I did listen. But it was tempting, too tempting to look at the TV. It was a real struggle at times. Trying to force my eye focus to stay on the emails and not onto the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Too hard. Too many potential distractions.

Movies without the picture is the way to go…..movies on cds…..

Why didn’t they ever do proper soundtrack cds for movies. Not just the music, but the dialogue, the sound effects – the whole movie. I’d happily listen to movies while working and trust my imagination to fill in the visual stuff. That would definitely ease the work pain.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Space

If only life was always this open and uncluttered…..

I was unfortunately wading my way through a mound of work emails when I could have been getting on with being a parent. Suddenly the world here looks like it’s caught up in a crazy stampede to open up again. I work in the events and sporting field. A pandemic is not conducive to full diary. For over a year our little companies order book has been as empty as a Yorkshire mans wallet after he sees a sale at the ‘Everything for a Pound’ store. But suddenly it’s gone mad. So much is now being planned, all without any formal regard for social distancing. All based on the assumption that the pandemic is over, everything is fine. I just think that we are still teetering on a knife edge. If we are not careful now then a lot of people are going to be at best disappointed, at worst, very ill. Will these events actually happen?

Anyway I was wading through the work emails. Wading is the right expression. If people just stick to the point then it would be so much quicker. But no. Let’s talk about what meal they had out last night. Let’s talk about the night at the pub. Squeezed somewhere in that social stuff will be the work bit.

Wow have I become The GRINCH ……

As I was wading through those emails a thought struck me. Wish I’d become something like an Astronaut rather than an Accountant…. I bet the Astronaut wouldn’t have to read about the stuff I’m suffering here. Having said that I bet you can probably get work emails in space now.

No one can hear you scream in space was the old horror movie line. Now it’s become ‘no one can hear you scream at your email inbox in space’.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 58 Comments

Thunder

The first thunderstorm of the season and wow it was a big one. They don’t often get this close, usually the follow the river out to see. This one headed straight over head.

As a child I loved thunderstorms. Would sit outside and watch the free show.

It’s different now. Hawklad hates them. They add a level of unwanted unpredictability into his world. Something he can do without. So now I wish they quickly pass by but a part of me still loves the excitement they bring. But got to adapt. Have to be mindful.

Sadly being mindful doesn’t seem to be a universal quality. Going back to my childhood I remember a kid in my class who was petrified of lightning. One day a storm passed over the school and he freaked out. The teacher simple dragged him out of class and made him stand in the playground. Tough medicine….. At the same school I was petrified of water. On my first swimming lesson I refused to get into the pool , so the instructor pushed me in. Tough medicine.

A different time but still no wrong.

Sadly it still goes on. I’ve seen it in some teachers and parents and how they ‘care’ for some pupils. How they have reacted to Hawklad. Maybe not as obvious but it still happens. Some children have problems with the texture, taste or look of certain foods. Hawklad just won’t try certain foods. But I still hear the old approach ‘well just let him starve, he will get hungry and he will eventually eat the food item’.

Hawklad struggles with meeting new people. He needs to sit with people he feels comfortable with. Change that and he can freeze up. When teachers become aware of it some work round it, are supportive. Yet other teachers insist on randomly switching who sits next to him as this will be good for him.

When he was struggling to get his head round Aspergers and what it meant to him, he went through a phase of trying to hide. Always have a hood pulled over his head. Hide in corners. School brought in an ‘expert’, a ‘school psychologist’ who recommended that he should do a presentation to the class about Aspergers. Tell his classmates why he was ‘different’. Anybody who spends anytime with Hawklad will know that is no different than just pushing someone petrified of water into a 4 ft deep pool.

As a society we kid ourselves about just how inclusive and developed we are. Some amongst definitely are sadly too many are simply not. Today I heard a Government Minister talk about some children needing TOUGH MEDICINE. The years might pass but certain countries are REGRESSING.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Who you looking at

I so remember this beautiful falcon. Happily settled on Hawklad’s glove. Calm and a definite trusting look in her eyes as she stared into Hawklad’s eyes. What was striking was the difference in the look she gave me. Think much less calm and at ease. Think much more, ‘you do know I am a bird of prey’……. The look this wonderful falcon gave me clearly had an underlying message. But what was it. Maybe……

That’s one ugly chubby pigeon, how on earth is that thing going to fly.

Or maybe it was

That’s some kill. That will feed me and my family for about 100 years. But how on earth am I going to carry it. Might need to hire a troop carrying helicopter…..

Oh that look. Ok it’s telling me that I’m moving down the food chain league table but it’s utterly mesmerising. It’s exhilarating. It’s what life should be about. Memorable……

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

wander

The perfect late Spring weather….

Perfect weather for getting stuck in a queue…

When you are stuck in a car waiting for any movement the mind tends to wander. Many questions.

What has happened to my country?

When did we become such an inwardly looking, uncaring, reactionary and thuggish country?

What type of twisted and broken country are we leaving for future generations?

What hope is there when a country becomes so utterly fractured?

Just how bad will things get for so many with Brexit going so badly wrong?

Why are so many voters happy to vote for a corrupt, inept, racist, lying, misogynistic clown?

Then the mind wandered to…..

Is it me. Is it me that is the outlier here?

If I don’t belong in my country anymore, what do I do, where do I go?

Then the traffic started to move. The hail kept coming down. The view out of the car windscreen started to change, sadly my view about my country didn’t…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Get me.

I’ve just listened to the lead BBC Political Editor basically say that British voters are not interested in questions about the PM honesty. They don’t care if he is corrupt or not. To them it’s just tittle tattle. What they care about is that how he is delivering Brexit for them, how he is keeping them safe from Covid and how he is one of them.

Excuse the words ….. what utter #########. Clearly the Political Editor doesn’t speak for me….

That’s the thing in life. Something I’ve noticed as the years have passed. I haven’t found many who I feel get me. Who understand me. Who can speak for me. Even those who should be closest to me. Family, partner, many friends. Do they really get me. Why don’t they see how I see things. Do they really understand me. They might but is that more what they want to see or feel. Probably not. That’s just human nature. I’m probably exactly the same with most other people. It will be the same for all of us. If your lucky you might find at least one person who does get you. And to set the record straight that is most certainly not The Prime Minister or the BBC Political Editor……

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 82 Comments

Sod’s law again….

In all of scientific practice the law which is the most robust, the nose watertight, the most constant is SOD’S LAW. Some scientists call it Murphy’s Law. Basically if something can go wrong, it will go wrong at the worst time and worst way.

Today that law has been repeatedly confirmed here during carefully conducted scientific experiments.

I dropped my toast and it landed butter side down, picking up just enough pet hairs to render it even inedible for me….

I found two unopened letters which had dropped behind my desk. One was a Bill and one was a small cheque refund. Which letter ended up being the one that had clearly sat unopened and forgotten about the longest. Yes the cheque. So long that it was now out of date. Confirmed by the bank, if I had found it yesterday then it would still have been in date. It became out of date midnight last night…..

The power went off earlier today. Just when I was doing something really important to me. It didn’t go off when I was say hoovering or unfortunately when U2 was playing on the radio….

I went to make an omelet for lunch. In the fridge I found two boxes of eggs. One stuck at the back and well over a month past to best before date. The other the new box. I carried both egg boxes, one scheduled for the bin and the other for the frying pan. I tripped over the cat and dropped both boxes. One opened and smashed all the eggs. The other stayed shut and the eggs survived. And yes only the fresh eggs smashed…

So there you have it scientific proof the Sods Law is real…..