Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 49 Comments

Hyper

The scene from last nights late Hawklad walk. A scene of apparent calm. It doesn’t paint the mayhem which accompanies taking Captain Chaos for a walk. Someone gets hyper on his walk. As he is the most hyper dog in Yorkshire at the best of times, that’s a shed load of hyper….

But it’s not just walks. Most things can send him hyper.

Me trying to tidy up the garden is up there on the hyper league table. Maybe it’s the novelty factor, the garden doesn’t get the attention it deserves….

So today as I tried to weed it was the usual pet mayhem. Helpful frantic digging. Burying anything he can find. Rolling in anything resembling dirt. Crazed running around in circles. That kind of thing.

Then a break. A dog walker walking across the distant fields. A distraction. Much barking. So I had better make the most of this. So I did 5 minutes of rapid weeding, manic digging and rushed raking.

Job done.

One slight problem. Don’t let your mobile fall out of your pocket when your doing speed gardening. Finally only located when I phoned it. Couldn’t hear it ringing inside. But the second phoning attempt, and an usual ringtone coming from the garden rubbish bin.

That could have been a disaster as the bin collection day is tomorrow. Just goes to show the risks inherent in gardening. Might give it a miss for a while now.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 43 Comments

Birds of prey

It’s been too long. Far too long since Hawklad got to do his favourite ever activity. Handling birds of prey.

He’s done this a few times. Sadly not enough. Hawklad is someone who struggles with social encounters. He finds it difficult to build up trust in others. It takes time and patience. But he can and does. He forms really close bonds with those he develops trust with. Real lasting friendships.

It’s so different with Birds of Prey. Instantly establishing a bond. Complete confidence and trust. Even getting to stroke the chest of one raptor who the falconer said that it had taken him months of effort to build up the same level of trust.

That’s why in an ideal world Hawklad will get to fulfil his dream of having his own falconry and rescue centre. And we all know dreams can come true. There is always hope.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 51 Comments

Mad

Blueberries just starting to develop.

It’s a mad world. A mad Britain.

So there are growing concerns over the use of the lateral flow rapid Covid tests. The Government has been pushing them in schools, forcing children to take them several times a week. The results available within minutes deemed perfectly robust as a basis of reopening schools. They worked so well that they were made available for free to everyone. I was sent 7 tests this week.

Then we here the the Governments own experts are questioning the accuracy of these quick results. They are potentially too unreliable to use on there own. Should be only used as a guide, a gateway to the more robust tests.

Then on Friday the Government talked about the frustration with testing. It’s keeping too many children and more importantly workers at home. To many false positives. Far too unreliable.

And today the Government announced that it will sanction a large scale indoor test event. A music concert with no social distancing and no masks. That’s 5000 people being used as guinea pigs. Anyone going would have to have a rapid Covid test the same day as the concert. Then the will have to be tested a few days afterwards…..

Can we make our mind up…..

Are we really happy to allow 5000 people to crowd together indoors as a number of troubling mutations are starting to take hold….

Are we happy that the only check is the unreliable test….

Are we happy that potentially clinically vulnerable and unvaccinated people and children are being used as test subjects…..

I remember the Government saying opening up for Christmas was perfectly safe. Just go and look at the death spike that caused. Do we remember just days before the first lockdown and the Government saying that it was safe to hold the countries largest horse racing festival. Studies have shown the large number of unnecessary deaths that lead to…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Cracks

How easy is it to slip through the cracks.

It took too many years to get any support and help for Hawklad. A lot of important time during his key development years were missed. He was labelled with the following tags and descriptions…

A loner

Below average attainment

Having issues

Poor concentration

Under performer

Some discipline issues

Can’t sit still

Clumsy

Accident prone

Messy eater

Untidy

Behind national targets

Easily distracted

Needs to work on the basics

Does he need better discipline at home

Then it all changed when a group of Doctors and education experts finally issued a medical letter confirming

Aspergers

ADHD

Dyslexia

Dyspraxia

To get there was a nightmare. Yes it felt like a never ending slog. An ordeal. Constantly fighting the system. You end up doubting yourself. Are we just being pushy parents. Should we just fall back into line.

In the end our son was one of the lucky ones. Too many great kids don’t get the chance to shine. Wrote off. Misunderstood. They never get the support they need because they fell through the cracks in the system. A system which still has such poor levels of awareness, too many stereotypes, too few resources in specialised services.

It shouldn’t be like this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 67 Comments

Power

Power….

So the member of the Government in charge of the NHS, Matt Hancock owns 15% of the shares in a company just awarded supplier status to the NHS. Apparently he doesn’t take an active role in the companies affairs. Apparently he leaves that to his sister who owns more shares and is a Director of the company.

Apparently that is perfectly above board.

Ok…..

But surely it’s no worse that our NHS awarding a contract to the former neighbour and personal friend of Hancock. A neighbour awarded a £30M contract to supply Protective Face Masks even though his friends company had no Medical experience and produced plastic cups. Apparently that was ok as Hancock denied being friends with his friend and never socialised with him and most definitely never drunk with him. In an unrelated matter, thanks to the Guardian Newspaper he is a photo of Hancock not at all socialising with a man who is definitely not his friend and most definitely not drinking. Maybe they are having a chance meeting and are celebrating a £30M contract award….

Power….

If I had done that when I worked for the NHS I would have been sacked and ended up in court for Procurement Fraud.

Power….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 82 Comments

Blue Sky

It’s been another blue sky Yorkshire day. If only it was warm. Really cold but definitely hot under the collar day.

An email from school definitely livened up the day and focused the parenting mind. In a nut shell the email said

Today and the next lesson in Citizenship will be about sexual awareness and consent. It’s a legal requirement. Hawklad is not in school. We can’t do online education for this one, its deemed inappropriate for the subject. So tough. Over to you parent. STAND UP AND DELIVER. We can send you one video on consent. BEST OF LUCK

Grand……

I tried to rack my brain back to my school days. From what I can remember the sex education lesson involved a nervous make teacher mumbling for 10 minutes then he showed a video. As it was a small TV the class had to huddle round for a sight of the action. After just a few moments a clip of a baby behind delivered was too much for one lad called Donnie who was stood on a bench . He throw up over those in front of him and then fainted, spectacularly crashing backwards to the floor. The lesson was abandoned and that was it. Not much help.

I can’t revert to the classic ‘better speak to your mum about this’. So had to man up…..

How did it go. Badly. After flailing around for 5 minutes under the most forensic questioning I did the decent thing and reverted to YouTube videos, of varying educational quality…..

I can’t remember this being in the patenting terms and conditions I signed up to…

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 72 Comments

Chef…..

Somebody is happy..l

Once a muppet always a muppet.

Thursday night is chip night here. When we moved into this little house on the hill two decades ago we quickly found out the real pace of village life. The ultimate highlight of the week here was the Thursday night visit from the mobile chip van. It parked in the road 50 yards from our house. Rapidly the tradition of Thursday Chip night was set. Eventually we even discovered that the new mad dog was also a chip monster. His favourite food.

A pandemic then happened.

Suddenly Hawklad was not comfortable with getting chips from the van. So we stopped being part of the chip social. But the tradition lived on. Now replaced with oven chips. A vegetarian pie for me and skinless sausages for Hawklad. And yes a small plate of chips for the mad one.

So last night was THURSDAY. Time to dine like royalty. Well that was the plan. If you look back a few months you will see a certain muppet falling fowl of the crime of not labelling freezer items. Guess what happened last night. No pies were available from the store so it was time to root around in the deepest recesses of the chest freezer. Success a fine looking pie. Maybe a mushroom one. Maybe a Quorn one.

Chips and a pie smothered in Tomato Ketchup, salt and vinegar. Result…..

The reality sweet cherry pie is and interesting taste sensation when combined with vinegar and ketchup. Heston Blumenthal eat your heart out….

Luckily the second pie found was a better fit…….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Blue sky or not blue sky

Sunshine, blue sky, dark cloud, storm clouds, dry, rain, snow, bright, dark.

That Yorkshire sky really sums up perfectly my mood levels since lockdown started. It’s a bit of everything really. Swinging from smiles to tear. Feeling full of the joys of spring to darkest winter coldness. Optimistic then pessimistic. Feeling contented then feeling boxed in. Calm then anxious. At ease with the world then frustrated.

Emotional never ending tides.

Yesterday I was fighting the tears. Life seemed bleak and so restrictive. Definitely feeling cut adrift, isolated and alone.

Yet today I can’t stop smiling. Ok life feels constrained but it also feels good. Filled with HOPE and WONDERFUL thoughts. Most definitely not feeling alone rather feeling part of a BEAUTIFUL world.

Ask me yesterday and I would say what am I doing. Today it’s WE can do this.

I’m the same person, I’ve not moved, I’ve not won the money lottery. No person or no asset has entered my world. So why the swing in mood. Could it be that we are permanently riding those emotional waves. Swings in outlook are to be expected. Good moments, bad moments. Maybe the secret is to look at each day. What are the things that weigh me down and try to do something about those. Then most importantly work out what are the things that lift me up so much. If you can identify those things (maybe it’s just one important thing) then keep trying to move towards those wonderful things in life.

Yes WE can do this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 53 Comments

Sporting life

As penance for being one of life’s great numpties I started supporting one of the world’s worst football teams. Think more soap opera than bastion of sporting greatness. But every week 52000 other lost souls descend on this place for our regular fix of mayhem and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Decades of never missing a match.

Then things changed.

Single parenting and getting my priorities right.

Trips to St James Park reduced in number. Restricted to those days I can borrow my friends ticket and I can convince Hawklad to endure 90 minutes of torture. Restricted to days when Hawklad will visit my sister for an afternoon.

Then a pandemic hit. Trips stopped completely. The last visit was September 2019.

And that was for a rugby international and a group of seats that high up we were in the Jet Stream.

It’s a changed world. Changed domestic situation. Will I get to see the useless team again. I’m not entirely sure, maybe not for a few years. I guess that’s life.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Motorway

A typical Yorkshire motorway. Plenty of overtaking options. Having said that. One stray and stubborn sheep and it can grind to a halt really quickly.

I was reading an article about a sales executive and how her life has changed during the pandemic. A year ago she would get up at 6am. Grab a breakfast, fill up the reusable plastic mug with coffee and head off to work. She would then spend 2 hours trying to drive 20 miles on a clogged up 8 lane motorway. She would then work her socks off for 10 hours, maybe finding a few minutes to grab a sandwich. She would get back home just before 9pm brain dead. A year later it’s home working and a life. Getting just as much done work wise, but on her terms and allowing her to better enjoy life.

Apparently home working is bad for the country. Our hardworking, sartorially perfect and completely honest PM describes home working as ‘time off’, ‘slacking’ and bad for Britain. We all need to do our civic duty get back into the office.

Thankfully I am one of those Britain’s who think Boris Johnson is a self serving, dishonest clown.

Home working doesn’t suit everybody. But in the same way tradition office working doesn’t suit everyone. It’s down to each person, each family to work out what best works for them. Hopefully they can then find a way to follow that route. Life is not just about working and sleeping. It’s also about LIVING. To the likes of that prat Johnson that doesn’t matter. That’s why he keeps going on about Victorian Values. A time when the few lived and enjoyed the fruits of other peoples sacrifices. A time when the majority just existed. That sales executive. Me. You. Your neighbour. We all should get an opportunity to do some of that living. To find a life that best works for them.

My switch to home working was forced on me by circumstance but it’s one of the best things that has happened to me. It is NOT slacking. It is about finding that a better work/life balance for those it suits.

I wouldn’t give up that Yorkshire motorway for one of those 10 lane beasts. Not even for the PM.