Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 16 Comments

Colour

As Winter fast approaches, there is still so much colour around. Just need to keep looking, it’s too easy to assume that colour has left for the year.

A venture inside a small shop for Hawklad. Maybe 8 other shoppers and a couple of shop staff. It took all his strength to survive 2 minutes inside. But here’s the thing, his anxieties in there weren’t just focused on Covid thoughts. Yes those fears explained his refusal to touch any alien surfaces or objects. But those in the shop all had masks on (strict shop policy). He just felt uncomfortable in that relatively small space. Too hemmed in. Too many faces. A space to small for that number of strangers.

The Covid vaccine might help will some anxieties but not with all the ones circulating in his world. A small village shop is a world away from an overcrowded classroom in a school with 900 pupils. His well-being is paramount. It has to be the basis of any decision going forward. Life has to fit for him. That’s the only way he will be happy.

That feels like a roadmap to guide the future.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

Walk on

The week walks on.

Another walk for Hawklad. Autumn is such a beautiful time. The colours and the moody skies. It’s also very quiet here. Hardly a soul on the trails, maybe the occasional farmer. Perfect for those seeking the reassurance and safety of solitude.

That’s such a distance from crowded classrooms and bustling school corridors.

Let’s just keep walking and see where it leads.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Keep on walking

I know it’s another walking post. Kind of…. That’s been the theme of the week. A chance to regroup, recharge and refocus. Start to see the future more clearly. Focus on choosing the right pathway. Try to spot the dead ends.

A step forward today. Hawklad had his first shot of the covid vaccine. The second shot is still not approved in the UK for children. He made me smile. To the question from the Nurse about allergies, he promptly responded

BROCCOLI.

He was also not impressed with my mask. I couldn’t find my usual one, so I had to go with the spare. Last year when I bought our first masks, I didn’t bother to check if that white mask had a pattern on the front. We both took one look when they arrived and said NO.

Needs must, so the mask got its first outing today. Hawklad would only be seen with me if I completely coveted my face with a hood. I looked like a Sith Lord. When the nurse asked if I was his dad, the response was

Certainly not with that mask……

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 27 Comments

Walk free

Been that type of day. Dark, cold and brooding.

The paths and trails are empty. Another perfect day for a walk for Hawklad.

It’s nice to be school free this week. It’s nice to be able to walk without the anxieties that brings. It’s nice to hear Hawklad talking about fun stuff.

Yes it’s definitely nice to walk free this week.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 43 Comments

Autumn

Damp, dark, chilly and windy. Definitely Autumn in Yorkshire. it also means places like The Yorkshire Arboretum will be unusually quiet. That’s the perfect time for Hawklad to have a relaxing visit. It’s good when he feels like he just about has a place to himself. That makes such a difference to him.

And it did.

And it made all the difference to his old Dad as well.

Can’t beat the quiet, can’t beat nature, can’t beat the autumnal colours.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

7 days

Sun setting on another day. Looking at the forecast I think the sun is going on holiday for a few days and that holiday won’t be taken in Yorkshire.

It’s now a week off from school and the school at home project. Much needed. The last 7 weeks have been a grind. Lots of hard work and pushing, feeling like it’s lots of effort just to stand still. This week off needs to be about recharging the batteries. Letting Hawklad be himself, try to make it as fun as possible for him. Maybe even catch up with a little bit of Dad sleep. That alarm clock is definitely being switched off for a few days.

So I looked out across the hillside and across the Vale. Looking West towards the setting Sun which was briefly illuminating a strong, resilient tree. We can do this. So many wonderful moments can still be played out. Dreams are out there. Dreams can happen. It can be a wonderful life. It really can be.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 45 Comments

Hatch

The local cows seeking shelter from the blistering Yorkshire Autumnal Sun. Wow it’s been cold. Definitely two jumper weather.

Today we have had plenty of time to be out in the cold. Four lessons today and virtually no work sent from school. One random map but no information, no explanation, no questions, just a map. That was it. Hawklad spent the day doing his own thing. Nothing else for him to do.

Eventually I called it. Enough for one day. Turn the school iPad off and let’s go and get some ice cream. I’m actually half tempted to tell him not to switch the iPad on tomorrow as well. Currently what is the point to this school at home project.

So ice cream it was. As I was walking back with the goodies. Then definite proof that Yorkshire Birds are a breed apart.

How long do I have to sit on this big egg before it hatches.

Without doubt the academic high of the day.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 38 Comments

Leafless

Won’t be long before the trees are leafless.

Could be a long winter.

For the fourth day running, UK had the most new Covid Cases in the world. Our cases running at least 10x higher than our European neighbours. Averaging about a 1000 Covid deaths a week. Hospitals under huge pressure. 1 in 12 secondary school pupils testing positive.

Apparently our Plan A is still working. No need for mandatory masks . No need for additional measures. No need to speed up the vaccination programme. We are learning to live with Covid.

Are we really learning to live with Covid or is the Government just trying to ignore the inconvenience it causes them.

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Waterproofing and holidays

That’s a proper Yorkshire view. A midday view… It’s going to be a right test of your wind and waterproofing.

Much shaking of the heads this morning. A teacher sent a brief revision guide ahead of an exam straight after the half term. Notes on the areas covered so far. Worryingly 3/4s of those areas are new to Hawklad. Just how much of class learning hasn’t been shared with him. Just how far behind is he falling. AND school don’t know as they are clearly not tracking his progress. Not one teacher has asked. How much of his submitted work is being marked. Often the only marking is where the answers are provided and Hawklad has to mark his own work.

Much shaking of the head….

So Hawklad has a much needed week off in a few days. Much needed for pupils, teachers and parents. These are tough times to be at school. So much stress, anxiety and pressure. That week off is needed.

Over that week Hawklad has to revise for 5 core subject tests that happen within the first 2 days of his return. That’s a shed load of revision over the holiday.

What is the issue with letting our children have true time off to actually enjoy themselves. Oh I forgot, Victorian Hard Work Ethics are good for society. Well I’m sorry if our Prime Minister can have a week off in a luxury holiday destination, painting his watercolours, unavailable for work, WELL surely our children can as well.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

River

The rivers are starting to fill up again. Much more rain and it will flood. Autumn is definitely here

How cool must it be to have boat at the end of your garden. Cool I guess until the boat starts floating in the house.

But it is a beautiful river.

We took a trip out to a local historic site. The weather wasn’t great so we hoped that it would be quiet. When we arrived there were just too many cars for Hawklad’s liking. A walk round the ruins was out of the question.

But on the other side of the river was a quiet but very muddy footpath. That was definitely quiet enough for Hawklad to give it a go.

And it was so worth it…

Yes is important that Hawklad continues on his road to managing his anxieties but it’s much more important that he enjoys himself. Sometimes the quiet, secluded path is best for that.

And you just never know what you might find.