If I keep my eyes open on the mad dog walk, I always discover something new…
So another school at home day. The pattern seems set. For each lesson something appears on the school system which can be accessed remotely. Maybe a one page document to read. Maybe a few random questions. Maybe a link to something on the web but with no signposts about why he is visiting the site. Maybe an unclear project. Whatever it is there are no instructions, no timescales, no indication of what is expected. We don’t even know if Hawklad is expected to return any work. No contact from any teacher.
So if he finishes within a few minutes what does Hawklad do for the remaining hour or so of the lesson. If he submits any work will it be even looked at.
Maybe the teachers are distracted by other issues but it does increasingly feel like school has given up on Hawklad.
The farm fields are now ploughed. The Autumn School Term has started. So the early alarm calls have heralded even less sleep. Another week of school at home. I had forgotten the frustrations. Hawklad hanging around for stuff to do. The time lost searching for files and waiting for teachers to respond to queries. Trying to find the right colour pen and then one that actually works. Trying to filter out areas that might spike Hawklad’s anxieties. Then watching the online system and Microsoft Teams crash.
Oh how have we missed this….
I needed to de-stress. So it’s time for MINDFULNESS. Somedays it’s works, other days not so. Today’s free mediation video was different. Lie down on the floor. Relax the body. Clear the mind. Slow the breathing down. So far so good. But then the slightly intimidating Hannibal Lector voice tells me to focus on my right foot – how does it feel. Then my right leg. Then my left leg. How is my abdomen feeling. Then my tummy. What are they feeling, what is the sensation. Then my back, my chest, my shoulders, my arms, my hands. Finally my mouth, my nose, my ears my eyes and the top of my head. I should be calm and relaxed now. Well that’s what Hannibal said….
Well to me not so. I remembered stubbing my toe, my toe hurts. I remembered my knee I had overstretched during that morning weight training session. I felt my IBS playing up, I noticed by tummy feeling bloated. My back was definitely stiff. My left shoulder which has been dislocated several times was sore. I could feel the finger I had burnt cooking, I could feel the paper cut on my thumb. I found an annoying bit of food between my teeth. My ear was itchy. AND my left buttock had gone to sleep on the hard floor. Basically my body hurts, pointing that out Hannibal, how is that supposed to relax me. Seriously.
What on earth is going on the conservatory window. And yes the conservatory needs tidying up. Out of focus dinosaur toys have taken over.
So it’s the first full week back at school for families in our area. Already many children have taken the quick but problematic virus test. Our Government is really pushing them while other countries are deeply sceptical of the test we use. Even our own Doctor Groups have expressed concerns. Some parents are refusing to let their children take them. Some schools have run out of the test kits. But the tests are the only precaution left in our schools.
From the parent comments on our school’s forum, a number of children have tested positive and are waiting a full test. A number of parents are isolating due to contracting Covid. But the Government rules have changed. Schools are not allowed to track potential cases without the approval from the authorities. They are not allowed to notify parents of potential or confirmed cases. Parents will only be notified if the number of cases escalates beyond a set national threshold. It seems odd that if a child has head lice then other parents are immediately notified but no notification now with an infectious disease. It also seems bizarre that under the current rules a child who tests negative using the inaccurate quick tests must still attend class even if that child’s parents have Covid, and if the child’s siblings have Covid.
Not an ideal backdrop for Hawklad to be wrestling with going back to school or not. He is still struggling with crowds. Still struggling with OCD. Still struggling to touch objects. Still struggling to venture inside.
School have said that they will try to be flexible about his return but do they really get it . His health professionals recommended a number of changes to help but these have not been acted upon. We asked if he could be put into classes with at least a few friends to help his potential return. Most of his classes have now been announced and guess what. Where are his friends……NOT in his class. It’s as if they had tried to put him in the worst class groupings possible. Let’s hope that the last two subjects fair better. Classes are full, the year is over allocated and unless a pupil leaves then switches can’t happen apparently.
Another sign of the approaching Autumn Term. Plenty of insects on the windows. Yes this one is superimposed on the big boy cats butt.
The day has dawned. In hours Hawklad is due back in the classroom. One email from school informing parents that school Covid safeguards have been relaxed apart from some testing. The school day will start with all children undertaking a Covid self test. Then the Year will gather for a school assembly in the main hall. After about 3 hours lessons will then commence.
No specific contact from school about Hawklad.
No discussions on tailoring a return.
No chance for Hawklad to do another pre school visit.
School haven’t even specifically asked if Hawklad is returning.
So what is Hawklad doing?
The thought of 3 hours of being in the small main hall with something like 120 other pupils without masks has really bothered him. Bothers me….. No specific plans have been agreed with school. Nothing in place to help with his potential return. Under those circumstances he can’t return. So I have informed school that he is working from home today.
It doesn’t help that it’s an anniversary……
Let’s see if school offer anything today. At least the timetable and class details will be published. Hawklad has said he will decide on Saturday. At present he feels that he can’t return. If that’s the case then it’s a question about is the a temporary hold or the permanent switch to homeschooling.
No contact from school again about Hawklad. Now one day from what is supposed to be his return. No plans in place. No discussions. Not impressed. Very unsettling. Change subject before rant starts.
There aren’t many things more unsettling to me than when I’m are happily driving along a road and an approaching car flashes their headlights at me. Or someone puts there hazard warning lights on randomly as you drive past them. Especially when you can’t figure out why. I’m I even the target of that, is it aimed at someone else, was it mistaken identity, was it an accident. What’s wrong. Is my petrol cap open. Is a police speed camera just round the corner. Is there a giant dinosaur waiting to pounce behind those approaching traffic lights.
The uncertainty just unsettles me.
Well I have the solution. It’s my one big invention. My route to fame and fortune.
All cars should be installed with a special keyboard on the steering wheel. The keyboard will have large keys you can press in those light flashing moments. Rather than just randomly sending out a vague message to the approaching car, a giant lcd screen on the front of the car (so large that it partly obstructs the windscreen) will display a detailed warning message. These can be preprogrammed. No confusing henceforth. For example my available warning light options would be
* Children next to road…..
* Animals on the road…..
* The road surface is dangerous…..
* Warning, The Cops……
* Hi Sister, have you been shopping…..
* Your driving like a moron…..
* Your car is falling to bits……
* Get your Mobile out, Pokemon nearby ready to be caught……
* Put your Mobile down you numpty…….
* Turn your Full Beam headlights off you selfish lemon……
* It would be so nice if you wouldn’t mind getting back on your side of the road…..
* Ha Ha Your missing a once in a lifetime sunset behind you….
* Turn your music down your not at a Metallica Concert……
* Stop looking at that bird in the sky, YOUR supposed to be driving……
* UFO sighted, danger of alien abductions……..
Well I think it’s a great idea. That’s distracted me. Sometimes even parents need a distraction….
Yesterday I took Hawklad for a drive through takeout at the local Taco Bells. The drive through was coned off. After much reassurance Hawklad let me go inside to buy him some food.
Well I was wearing a mask and keeping my distance……..
The only other person with a mask was the lad preparing the food. The girl taking the orders, the chap making drinks and the person on the till were maskless. Everyone inside at the tables were maskless. Even the customers who came in after me were maskless. I even had to ask the person behind me to move back as he was no more than a foot away from me. AND the looks I got. No comments this time as I think my eyes gave away the current mood level. What’s the phrase – if looks could kill……
So have I missed something. Is it over…..
Just had an email from school saying that masks are still recommended on school buses but they are not required in any part of the school including classrooms. All social distancing rules have ceased. This follows Government instructions to schools. The email also notified parents that from the opening of schools next week, classes will now not be sent home if there is a positive case in the class. A significant outbreak would have to occur for that to happen. That decision would now not be the schools to take, it was up to area officials. Further if positive cases occur in a household then the any pupils are expected to still attend school until they test positive. Parents will now not be automatically informed of any school or class outbreaks. They will not be informed of any close contact with confirmed cases. This will only occur when a threshold of infection is reached. The school is seeking clarification on these new rules but they will have to follow them as they are Government instructions.
So have I missed something. Is it over…..
ONE MORE THOUGHT….
The Government was asked in a Freedom of Information Request to reveal what its own expert advice said about its school mask removal policy. The Government has refused to release that advice or a summary of the expert opinion as it is ‘not in the public interest to release that information’. I wonder what it says…….
Late evening dog walk. Normally a time of beauty, quiet and peace. A much needed feeling of solitude for Hawklad. But not this night. The sound of the farmer had at work as the light gives out. No sound of silence tonight.
Another day has started and the Government ‘schools are perfectly safe’ campaign is in full swing. Children are are very low risk of getting ill from COVID. Crossing the road is much more dangerous. So all children should return to school immediately and there is no need for any COVID mitigation strategies in the the classroom. Forget your masks and go for it. This even applies to Extremely Clinical Vulnerable children. A Government Health Agency has just wrote to over 55000 families to inform them that now their extremely clinical vulnerable child should not shield anymore. They are expected back at school. Previously they have been informed to fully isolate due to the health risks associated with COVID. Now it’s suddenly become safe. Reassuringly the Head of that Agency also claimed last year that the UK had a world leading COVID strategy. Also argued that effective track and trace of cases was not needed. Also claimed that Large Scale Mass Public Gatherings carried no risk at all (days before they were stopped on safety grounds). Argued that the UK would not suffer significant deaths (currently 132000). OK….
Covid is such a difficult area to manage. I accept that. But children are catching Covid. Are suffering from severe and long Covid. They are in intensive care. Too many have died. It’s time my Government was honest with us. We are averaging well over 30000 new cases per day. We have 26x more cases than this time last year. Most days sadly over 100 people die. Most other countries are vaccinating children. Most other countries are installing improved ventilation in classrooms. Most other countries are maintaining sensible precautions in schools. My Government has decided to drop all precautions. Let’s be clear the Government and it’s officials know this. They have an level of child illness, suffering and death which is acceptable to them. They will see that as manageable.
But then rather than trusting children and parents with making a decision on their families safety (which will be different for each family), they are forcing the issue. Forcing families into sending children back into school regardless of the individual circumstances. Threatening legal action. Sending Government Officials after families. Regardless of family health risk profiles. Regardless of any mental health concerns. The only view that matters is the Government’s.
Parent views only matter with this Government when they provide a convenient excuse for the friends of the PM to justify the few ignoring the rules while everyone else has to obey them. One rule for them, one rule for us.
And on top of that the Government is now saying that responsibility for controlling covid in schools is purely the responsibility of parents and teachers. It has nothing to do with the Government. I wonder why that is…
Hawklad will go back to school when he is ready. He knows best. I trust his judgement. It is his health and well-being. Sadly I don’t trust those in power who are supposed to be on his side. They don’t care.
If you look in the right direction and it looks like Summer in Yorkshire. For those cloud spotters out there, can you see the really chubby bird being chased my two smaller, slightly more streamlined birds…
Turn in the other direction and it’s grey as more weather is about to sweep over us.
Yes Sunday the 15th is cool here. That cool that the car heater was given a much needed whirl.
That’s just over 3 weeks to schools reopening here. Yesterday another trip out. Another attempted step towards bridge building. Yesterday’s trip felt a little more discouraging. Having seen Hawklad’s extreme anxiety at being within just a few paces away from a handful of strangers, 3 weeks does not seem much time at all. He was spooked by people not wearing masks. Spooked by strangers not interested in social distancing. This was outside. A million miles away from an over crowded classroom with no social distancing. In cramped rooms with inadequate ventilation. Places which have always been a breeding ground for germs and bugs. Places which are frequently unpleasant places to sit for hours. Not conducive environments for learning. It was that way when I was at school, it hasn’t changed now my son is there.
As other countries invest millions in installing classroom ventilation my so called Government has decided to trial ventilation in 30 schools in one small city. See how that goes for 6 months or more, then systematically review the results. Only after that can they start to think about better ventilation for schools. So maybe in a couple of years time, maybe some money can be found. Strange how on the eve of a vital Climate Change world summit, the Government approved a giant new oil and gas field within days…
Priorities….
So today we will try to head out again. To a different destination. Try to find another place to visit which is slightly less busy with more space. Try for another step forward. Maybe these steps may need to start heading in a different direction. One not focused to heavily on forcing an imminent return to the classroom.
Another dawn start by the Yorkshire coast. No albatross this morning but so worth the 3.30am alarm call.
Birdwatching and an attempt to re-establish social bridges.
It’s the perfect time for Hawklad to do a bit of bird spotting. You have the site largely to yourself. The sound of the sea and thousands of birds is very soothing. It’s a good way for him to focus on something different. Something which distracts him from those daily anxieties. He can feel at one with nature.
Then the occasional early morning birdwatcher turned up. It’s a big site so they kept their distance. For a couple of hours no one came within 100 yards of us. Maybe I’m scaring them off – early morning starts do nothing for my granite like features. Definitely a facefor radio. As more birders took up position Hawklad became less relaxed. More anxious glances over the shoulder. Making sure no one is approaching.
By 8am more people are turning up. Still maybe no more than a few dozen in total. Too many for Hawklad so we leave and head back home. Giving people wide berths on paths. Picking the least busy route through a slowly filling up car park. Getting back to the car then using had wash for several minutes. Carefully rinsing the mouth out with mouthwash.
This still feels like a million miles from venturing back into shops and enclosed spaces. So far away from crowds. A return to school is potentially just a month away. The first step has to be feeling comfortable with crowds and strangers outside. Only then can the ficus shift to inside matters.
Another step forward but I’m not sure how much more of those social bridges were built.
A Tree on a Saturday but not this Saturday. Its different today. It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s windy. Thunder is rumbling all around us. Not really sunbathing weather. Not really the weather to stand anywhere near a tree on an exposed hill top. Another bright flash. Now hail.
A day for staying inside and dreaming.
Maybe in a few hours a trip out in the weather to an historic site. Should be quiet. That will help Hawklad.
This Saturday is now only 35 days from the start of the new school year. 35 days sounds a long time. Something like 3,000,000 million seconds. That does sound such a long time. But it isn’t. It really isn’t. Is it enough time to build life bridges. To move from finding quiet outdoor sites. Where the few people there are distant. Where you don’t touch any surfaces. You nervously cast glances at strangers. If space shrinks then you ask to leave. Is it enough time to build a bridge. To move to overcrowded classrooms. Classrooms with no ventilation. To being within inches of others. To sharing table surfaces, sharing learning materials, sharing classroom objects.
It feels like not enough time to build secure bridges. That’s the thing that some don’t understand. You can’t put a set timeframe on these things. There is no set time. Hawklad feels like he should try to go back to school. He should try for September. Any later and he’s joining a class part way through the year. Never an easy experience. But he is having doubts. Maybe it’s October. He has decided to push those thoughts and decisions to the back of his mind. Deal with those anxieties as September hits.
For what it’s worth I think a September return is way too early, fraught with so many risks that could bring those fledgling bridges down. His departing Health Professional feels exactly the same way. School thinks this is the perfect time to reintegrate him. The Government thinks that I am a bad parent for having these doubts. Childhood is about getting those qualifications the economy needs. Anxieties, mental health issues are excuses. Purely reasons for extended holidays.
So this Saturday feels stress filled. Maybe Hawklad is right. Put these thoughts to one side. Let’s see if we venture out. If we do then let’s see if some bridge building takes place. Let’s wait to see where those bridges lead to. You never know it could be to a better place. A place of dreams and contentment. Happiness. That’s what really counts this stormy Saturday.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 