Make an Ice Cream cake. Not only that but make the Ice Cream to make the cake.
Well…….
This was the end result.
It only has two molecular states. Runny or Rock Hard Granite. Not exactly perfect material to build that cake.
As for the Taste Test. The official Tester refused – “it’s like something from Alien 6”. To me the taste and texture was somewhere south of ‘deeply disturbing’.
Come on, you surely can do better than this culinary abomination. Why not have a crack at this years Great Bloggers Bake-off happening this weekend. All the latest can be found on Mel’s wonderful site.
I had high hopes. Such a simple baking task. Even I couldn’t mess up flapjacks. Well I kinda didn’t. Maybe…..
Enough flapjack to fill a big plate. Well it should have been.
If you like flapjack that instantly crumbles, falls apart, disintegrates, then this would be perfect for you. After several attempts of pressing and moulding, I managed to get just TWO pieces to stick together, just don’t get too close – their stability is severely compromised.
Whisper it. Just seconds later these perfect flapjacks had started to fall apart.
The rest well, I just let Hawklad spoon the crumbs into heaps of Maple Syrup, to form an Edible Mess. That’s our version of an Eton Mess.
Why don’t you have a crack at a bit of baking. Its the Great Bloggers Bake-off real soon. You know it makes sense.
To check on the latest, drop in on Mel’s awesome blog.
It’s Autumn here in Yorkshire and Autumn means lots of really sour apples from our creaky old tree. What to do with them….
A few years back I would descend on my mum’s with bags laden with apples. She knew exactly what to do with them…. Make the most perfect apple crumbles.
So why not.
Not as good as mums but not bad at all. It’s amazing what difference shed loads of sugar and honey can make.
If I can do it…..
It’s the Great Bloggers Bake-off real soon.
Why don’t you have a go…..
You can find more details at Mel’s wonderful blog.
All I had to do was bake 12 fairy cakes. Even I can do that surely. All was going so well. The cake mix passed the Hawklad eating it from the bowl test.
I just had to put it into the oven for 12 minutes and remember to take it out. No need for a timer, I just have to focus for 12 minutes. I can do that. I can avoid being distracted.
TWENTY EIGHT minutes later….Pants…..out the abominations came from the oven. A tad CRISPY.
Attempt two, this time with TIMER.
And the results. The great taste test from Hawklad.
“Well it’s not terrible”
I will settle for that. Eat your heart out Gordon Ramsey, that’s a review.
Just a few weeks to raise my game for the 2022 Great Bloggers Bake-off. Mel has all the details and all the proper, delicious baking results.
Time to don your aprons, time to get passionately whisking, time to tend your cobblers. The Great Bloggers Bake-off is coming back on the 15th and 16th of October. You know it makes sense.
So in the buildup to the big weekend I will be donning the full HazMat protective gear and baking an item a week. This weekend Frankenstein’s Monster will be a Sponge Cake, sounds simple. However let’s remember some of the high end cuisine this kitchen has yielded in the past.
Poor Hawklad was trying to do his school at home lessons. A teacher had uploaded work to be done online. That’s always a good thing and most welcome, unless you are Hawklad. The work kept referring to ‘review the key information on page 264 of your text book’. What text book….. Apparently the text book those in class use each lesson as a key part of the teaching programme. The class share copies so there isn’t one available to be sent home, so Hawklad did know that one even existed. At least we know now.
It’s cold. Not as cold as some countries but it’s cold for us. It’s definitely a two wooly jumper day.
It’s the kinda day for hot chocolate, soups and stews. It’s been a bit of a STEW fest recently. I can obliterate baking but I can do a might fine stew. What’s the secret to my STEWPENDOUS creations. Well I discovered that last night. Out of date herbs. Seriously out of date. We are taking Best Before A Very Long Time Ago. Best before ran out during Obama’s presidency (and not his second stint….). Oops….
The ageing adds to the flavour. As my parents would say when food hit the ground when I was a kid. Days when the food was quickly wiped on a sleeve and handed back for consumption.
“It will put hairs on your back son”.
Now a few millennial later and it certainly has done that….. If only my parents had put all this useful information and knowledge into a parenting textbook. I’m sure it would provide much reassurance on the use of out of date food items. It might even enlighten us to what key information can be found on page 264….
It’s been a few weeks since the Great Bloggers Bake off happened. It was wonderful and so much fun. Along with all the great baking bloggers, two people need a real shout out for all the work they put into this. Mel (CrushedCaramel) for putting this all together and Jeanne (A Jeanne in the Kitchen) for judging the entries.
You can check out all the fabulous entries on Mel’s site. So many fabulous entries and a few other rogue ones……
Sometimes going rogue works….
The Bake-Offs awesome judge Jeanne has awarded me an effort star. That feels like a Michelin Star to a baker like me. I am on the United Nations Baking Crimes list. So a star is a huge win for me even though it might technically not have been awarded on baking talent in my case. 😂😂😂😂😂 You can check out all the true baking stars here.
The next star I need is in POETRY. Again I am on the International Poetry Crimes list. I am Bad at poems, real BARD. I have been asked by the authorities to Cease and Desist on rhyming. Who am I to argue. I have tried to stop but as a one off, Mel asked if I would write a poem with her for the Bake-Off.
So can you spot the lines that someone with talent wrote (Mel) and the ones that a truly appalling poet like I did’eth pen.
We would love you to still take part in the Great Bloggers Bake Off Festival of Love. Please send your baking photos and baking ideas into:
CRUSHEDCARAMEL@GMAIL.COM
Already Mel has received so many fantastic submissions and the occasional disaster 😂😂😂😂.
Ok time for Sunday Blogger Bake Off Entry . A heart shaped Carrot Cake. First problem… No carrots…. I foolishly used them all up while making Sunday Lunch. The garden ones are out of bounds as Captain Chaos has been wee’ing on them. I’m not driving today so just have to make do again. But no viable alternatives. No pumpkin, no zucchini, no pineapple, no coconut. Then the madness set in. Carrot is ORANGE. Cheese is also Orange and can be shredded. Lactose free cheese was added…..
So now it’s a heart shaped cheese cake.
Then the shaping issues. The carefully moulded HEART shaped cake fell to bits.
So I give you a bit of a disaster cake. Presentation needs a bit of refinement. The actual cheese tasting cheese cake is interesting. Think sweet spice. Think cheddar cheese. It kinda works. But do I serve it with custard or with butter.
As I dream then what better time can there be to try to make some homemade ICE CREAM. So after a hunt I located one of those random impulse purchases that never made it out of the box. An Ice Cream Maker. Then the panic. How on earth am I going to fit that big bowl which needs freezing for 8 hours into a rammed freezer. I can’t remember that bit on the glossy advert. It just said make delicious ice cream easily at home….. So an hour later the freezer is bursting at the seems. The lid is weighted partly down with my heaviest kettlebell.
Wait patiently for 6 hours….. I’m sure two hours won’t make that much difference.
So in went the dairy and gluten free ingredients. Lots of tinned coconut milk, vanilla, decaf coffee and maple syrup. That kinda thing. Plus cookie dough….. why does my attempt at cookie dough look like rabbit droppings 😳😳😳😳😳
Then the press the machine button and it stirs…..why didn’t I just use my food mixer and save the money.
The end result…..
Not sure the famous ice cream brand will be too happy being associated with my attempt. But it is recycling….
Whisper it. It was nice……. WOW.
We would love you to take part in the Great Bloggers Bake Off Festival of Love. Please send your baking photos and baking ideas into:
CRUSHEDCARAMEL@GMAIL.COM
Already Mel is receiving so many fantastic submissions and the occasional disaster 😂😂😂😂.
There is nothing better than sneaking into the open washing machine as it’s being loaded with clothes. Select a lovely sock and then leg it outside. Once the sock is outside then it’s lost to the wilds…
If only some other things could be lost to the wilds.
With the Great Bloggers ‘Festival of Love’ Bake-Off fast approaching it was time for another creation. Yes it was time to move to Def Con 3.
I tried to keep this simple. A basic sponge cake. Dairy and Gluten Free. Well it started well, with carefully measured out ingredients then the first disaster. For some reason my mind mixed up 20ml of tepid water with 320ml…. Talk about a mucky swimming pool. Not quite the smooth batter I was looking for.
I’m sad to say I panicked. I grabbed the flour jar and just poured. But why was the flour brown…. Yes I had grabbed the cocoa tin. Then I checked the next tin, this one had white contents. But as I poured it became clear this was caster sugar. By the time I had found the proper flour tin the cake mic was looking a right mess. Hawklad recommended that the best course of action was now just to randomly add more ingredients. So we added cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, orange peel and maple syrup.
The end result. Well it looks like a cake. Bizarrely it’s feels like a cake. As for the taste….. Well love can take many forms, but this cake probably isn’t one of those…
Do you feel the baking love.
We would love you to take part as well!! Please send your baking photos and baking ideas into:
CRUSHEDCARAMEL@GMAIL.COM
Already Mel is receiving so many fantastic submissions and the occasional disaster 😂😂😂😂.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 