Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 37 Comments

Based on

A moody start to the day. Kinda sums up the school week so far. The occasional glimpse of light, a bit of hope. But mainly grey, misty with a distinct whiff of approaching stormy weather…… Best highlighted by a review test sent today covering areas that poor Hawklad had never seen before. So if it’s a review then what did the teacher base that on.

What else has Hawklad been missing out on…..

I keep hearing that companies like Amazon are getting really smart at identifying potential new selling areas. Tailoring them to the individual. Using email and search contents to drill down on what the likes of me would like to spend my money on. To target me. That being the case then why am I getting bombarded by adverts about Scuba Diving Kit. I don’t believe I’ve ever searched the subject. Never trawled through Amazon for it. Never discussed it in an email. I CANT EVEN SWIM…… I guess a diving suit might be just what I need if I go out for a night on the town. Definitely Eye catching. In fact the oxygen task and snorkel mask is also very pandemic practical. Ok actually I might give those marketing emails more a more detailed perusal…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 24 Comments

Missing

One of those frustrating school at home days. Four lessons and zero work provided by school. No communication from teachers. Radio silence. Is it a Covid testing day. Is it a vaccination day. Is it a trip out day. Are the school systems down. Is it a revision day. Has Hawklad just been forgotten about….. Surely he is not the only pupil working from home.

I will let school know, AGAIN….

I wonder if the problem is a lot to do with a big school mentality. Maybe it’s what happens in the UK when you have school with over 800 pupils with a sixth form college bolted on for good measure. You have a teacher (maybe with a teaching assistant) trying to teach 30 pupils in an overcrowded classroom. Not enough time for individual teaching. That only happens when a pupil puts their hand up and asks for help. At home you can’t do that. What do the teaching staff do when many hands go up at the same time.

And here’s the other thing that makes a difference. Each subject has a different teacher and assistant and they change every school year. So it feels like all the time spent building up a relationship with the teaching staff is lost every summer. Working from home means that hardly any of the teaching staff have ever met Hawklad. None of the teaching staff have tried to speak with him (or me) since the pandemic started. Initially it worked better as one member of the team knew Hawklad. She had worked with him. She got him. She made the effort to ensure he was looked after and catered for. But she left. The current team don’t KNOW HIM. Maybe he is just seen as additional workload, an inconvenience.

So today Hawklad did his own learning until lunchtime then I called it and that was the end of the school day.

Let’s try again tomorrow.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 16 Comments

Colour

As Winter fast approaches, there is still so much colour around. Just need to keep looking, it’s too easy to assume that colour has left for the year.

A venture inside a small shop for Hawklad. Maybe 8 other shoppers and a couple of shop staff. It took all his strength to survive 2 minutes inside. But here’s the thing, his anxieties in there weren’t just focused on Covid thoughts. Yes those fears explained his refusal to touch any alien surfaces or objects. But those in the shop all had masks on (strict shop policy). He just felt uncomfortable in that relatively small space. Too hemmed in. Too many faces. A space to small for that number of strangers.

The Covid vaccine might help will some anxieties but not with all the ones circulating in his world. A small village shop is a world away from an overcrowded classroom in a school with 900 pupils. His well-being is paramount. It has to be the basis of any decision going forward. Life has to fit for him. That’s the only way he will be happy.

That feels like a roadmap to guide the future.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Keep on walking

I know it’s another walking post. Kind of…. That’s been the theme of the week. A chance to regroup, recharge and refocus. Start to see the future more clearly. Focus on choosing the right pathway. Try to spot the dead ends.

A step forward today. Hawklad had his first shot of the covid vaccine. The second shot is still not approved in the UK for children. He made me smile. To the question from the Nurse about allergies, he promptly responded

BROCCOLI.

He was also not impressed with my mask. I couldn’t find my usual one, so I had to go with the spare. Last year when I bought our first masks, I didn’t bother to check if that white mask had a pattern on the front. We both took one look when they arrived and said NO.

Needs must, so the mask got its first outing today. Hawklad would only be seen with me if I completely coveted my face with a hood. I looked like a Sith Lord. When the nurse asked if I was his dad, the response was

Certainly not with that mask……

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 38 Comments

Leafless

Won’t be long before the trees are leafless.

Could be a long winter.

For the fourth day running, UK had the most new Covid Cases in the world. Our cases running at least 10x higher than our European neighbours. Averaging about a 1000 Covid deaths a week. Hospitals under huge pressure. 1 in 12 secondary school pupils testing positive.

Apparently our Plan A is still working. No need for mandatory masks . No need for additional measures. No need to speed up the vaccination programme. We are learning to live with Covid.

Are we really learning to live with Covid or is the Government just trying to ignore the inconvenience it causes them.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 45 Comments

Frustration

This week has been frustrating. So frustrating.

It’s been as tough a week that I can remember on this school at home project. Links with a number of teachers have become very strained. I bet the teachers are as desperate for the upcoming week break as we are.

Work has been a struggle. What can you do when so many are off with Covid. Not enough people still standing to cover the jobs. As much as I move the pieces around I’m always going to be short. Oh yes, sorry, apparently the pandemic is over….

My diet is a struggle. It’s a gluten and dairy free life for me at present. Yet those items are strangely unavailable at our local stores. Clearly the gluten free wagons are stuck somewhere trying to get into this brexit wonderland. I guess it’s a week of mostly jacket potatoes. I know what Matt Damon feels like in The Martian now….

Wow I need a break. But that break seems further away than ever. If only I could be Boris Johnson. Tell everyone we are in this together, take £20 a week off the poorest in our country then jump on a jet for a weeks painting and drinking at a Billionaires pad in the sun.

Dreams of a much better life are there. Stronger than ever. Just not this week. Not any time soon. Need to be patient.

Sleep. I find it’s a commodity vastly overrated but actually much needed….

And yet…..

If I just look up it’s amazing what I can find even on a 1 minute walk to the postbox.

There is always something to hold on to. There is always hope. When I focus on what really matters to me. The amazing in my life. I realise actually it’s still a wonderful life. Yes I’m ready to go again…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 33 Comments

Purple

Still some flower action here in October.

I remember sitting in small meeting room as a Doctor and a Psychologist talked through Aspergers. How would it effect the future and parenting. A word that kept being mentioned was COMORBIDITY. Aspergers frequently co-exists with other additional conditions. It all depends on the individual. Sometimes you can work on one piece of the jigsaw, other times you have to look at the bigger picture.

Dyslexia, ADHD, Dyspraxia, OCD.

But the single most life affecting word

ANXIETY.

Social anxieties, health anxieties, anxieties.

It’s a constant struggle for Hawklad. The struggle is much harder during a pandemic. More anxieties all around him. But it’s not just about focusing on covid fears. As he briefly gets on top of one anxiety, another one takes over. Last night he struggled with

– infection fears,

– wider health fears,

– fears about touching surfaces and objects,

– return to school anxieties,

– anxieties about random lights in the sky,

– unexplained noises,

– eating anxieties,

– pet anxieties,

– school work,

– meeting strangers,

– life in general.

It’s a constant struggle. Reassuring, trying to manage the environment, talking. Some things the parent can help with but it’s Hawklad’s battle. Somethings need input from experts like Psychologist. Somethings just need a bit of help from life. Some fears may come and go, some fears may be overcome, some fears may become stronger, new fears may appear. It could be a life long battle for him. Over time let’s hope he can develop a range of techniques and strategies to help him manage his own anxieties. The parent is getting older. Soon what support he does get will vanish from the experts. In the UK adults are expected to ‘just get on with it’. That’s Britain for you.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 26 Comments

Way forward

Who needs a shower when you can walk through an autumnal Yorkshire meadow. The sun might be out but it’s wet. Very wet.

Who would have thought it. THOR with shorts on walking across that very field 😂😂😂 Much waxing needed 😱😱😱😱

Apparently The Government believes that 100,000 children currently off school as a result of Covid is far too many. Letters are being issued to many parents about the need for children to be in school. If parents don’t cooperate then they will be ‘officially assisted’ in getting their children back. I’m sorry but there is a pandemic on. Maybe if those in charge had made schools safer rather than just remove all the requirements for masks and social distancing, then far less kids would have ended up catching Covid.

So this morning I listened to the Government talk about parents again. They should listen to the official message. Do the decent, patriotic thing and believe in what the Government tells them. Schools are safe, send your kids into class. Even if there is underlying health conditions or covid in the household or a covid outbreak in the classroom, kids must be sent in.

Ok…

Hairy Thor can see a slight problem with that. I remember just a few months ago. One Monday morning. The Government was telling parents schools were completely safe. They wrote to schools to instruct them to stay open. Letters were issued talking of the legal consequences of keeping children off school. Headteachers and Parents were threatened that Monday Morning. So schools stayed open. Kids were sent into school. Then just 12 hours later, that very same Monday, after a day of repeated official untruths, The Government CLOSED all schools. Suddenly schools had become a serious vector of pandemic spread. They were apparently not safe after all. How many children, teachers, support staff, parents and grandparents ended up catching Covid needlessly that day…..

I had a long talk with Hawklad. We agreed that regardless of his anxiety levels, he will NOT return until classrooms in his school are safer. That helps with his mindset as well. He was feeling under pressure to return too soon. Let’s see how is mindset is at the end of October.

The path is clearer.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Reasons

There is something about this time of year. It just keeps on producing the most amazing mist covered skies. Almost as if the sky was an old watercolour art work.

We will ignore the absolutely sodden feet. Something about this time of year and wet socks as well….

The school term is well underway and finally a few subjects are providing some home materials for Hawklad. Certainly not the entire lesson but at least it’s something. One teacher even marked some work he had submitted and provided feedback. That’s a real start. But it all seems pretty disjointed and I get a sinking feeling – he is falling behind those in class. But at least it’s improving. I wonder if there is another reason for that.

Under the new Government Rules schools don’t notify parents if there are any in-class Covid cases. Lessons continue as normal without any additional precautions. Direct contacts with confirmed cases are NOT asked to isolate. It’s out of Headteachers hands now, external officials control the process. Those officials will not intervene until the number of cases escalate beyond thresholds set by the Government. So parents are kept in the dark and apparently should assume there is no news. Schools are completely safe.

Well a teacher accidentally let the cat out of the bag today with a stray email. The email talked about those unable to attend class due to having tested positive. In Hawklad’s class of 30 pupils, 6 are currently suffering with Covid. Those pupils sitting next to a confirmed case (that’s sat for hours, shoulder to shoulder with someone with Covid) are not traced. Mid last week all in the class had been given the all clear after the quick self testing process. A testing process which is not compulsory.

So I guess the reason for the improved home workload might just be that a sizeable proportion of the school are off…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 51 Comments

They’re at it….

What on earth is going on the conservatory window. And yes the conservatory needs tidying up. Out of focus dinosaur toys have taken over.

So it’s the first full week back at school for families in our area. Already many children have taken the quick but problematic virus test. Our Government is really pushing them while other countries are deeply sceptical of the test we use. Even our own Doctor Groups have expressed concerns. Some parents are refusing to let their children take them. Some schools have run out of the test kits. But the tests are the only precaution left in our schools.

From the parent comments on our school’s forum, a number of children have tested positive and are waiting a full test. A number of parents are isolating due to contracting Covid. But the Government rules have changed. Schools are not allowed to track potential cases without the approval from the authorities. They are not allowed to notify parents of potential or confirmed cases. Parents will only be notified if the number of cases escalates beyond a set national threshold. It seems odd that if a child has head lice then other parents are immediately notified but no notification now with an infectious disease. It also seems bizarre that under the current rules a child who tests negative using the inaccurate quick tests must still attend class even if that child’s parents have Covid, and if the child’s siblings have Covid.

Not an ideal backdrop for Hawklad to be wrestling with going back to school or not. He is still struggling with crowds. Still struggling with OCD. Still struggling to touch objects. Still struggling to venture inside.

School have said that they will try to be flexible about his return but do they really get it . His health professionals recommended a number of changes to help but these have not been acted upon. We asked if he could be put into classes with at least a few friends to help his potential return. Most of his classes have now been announced and guess what. Where are his friends……NOT in his class. It’s as if they had tried to put him in the worst class groupings possible. Let’s hope that the last two subjects fair better. Classes are full, the year is over allocated and unless a pupil leaves then switches can’t happen apparently.

Yes they’re at it again…. And it’s not helping.