Apparently a heatwave is about to hit Western Europe. I’m not sure the required paperwork and clearances have been signed off for Yorkshire yet. As a result it’s gone back to cold, cloudy and very wet. Here this is called proper weather.

Anyway let’s see if the much vaunted hot stuff arrives. Knowing our luck it could be a long wait. But we are accustomed to waiting for things.

  • Snow at Christmas … 10 years
  • My so called football team winning a domestic trophy … 64 years
  • A U.K. Van Halen Tour … 35 years
  • Last Total Solar Eclipse in Yorkshire … 92 years, next U.K. one 2090

We can add to these the following waits.

  • Bereavement counselling for son … over 2 years and counting
  • Waiting to have son’s dyslexia initially assessed by an Education Psychologist … over 3 years
  • Aspergers Review and Assessment … 2 years
  • Dedicated Aspergers Therapy … 1 year
  • Anxiety Therapy … 6 months
  • Speech Therapy … 4 years
  • Paediatrician Assessment … 1 year
  • Parent Training on Autism … Never going to happen So far 5 years

You get the picture. Nothing comes easy. As a parent. As an Autism Parent. As a Aspie Parent. You have to push for the support your kid needs. Constantly chasing up contacts. Everyday seems like a new or recurring battle. Letter after letter. Chasing up phone calls. That’s something which isn’t mentioned when you start your new life journey. You sort of assume that the professional help will be there when you need it. You quickly find out that the professional help is withheld or is delivered at times to suit the system rather than the child.

What the system doesn’t seem to appreciate is that you get such a short window of time to foster real progress. As one psychologist said

Up to about 14 years is the development sweet spot. That’s when the real, long lasting progress is usually made. That’s when you have a chance to start closing the educational gap. After that it becomes increasingly difficult. If it’s left too long then its probably just about trying to stop the educational gap widening too quickly.

The frustration that causes you. It’s hard to explain that feeling. Maybe constantly walking in treacle. Every step forward is such an effort and yet you are so far away from your destination. But the fight has to be fought. As long as our son wants me to keep pushing then I will keep pushing. That’s what parents do.

43 thoughts on “Waiting”

      1. No, because they think we are usless and can’t fight back. I have had to call a senator of my state several times. The governer before this one took tax money to run for president and left us very little.:*(

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  3. I get it…one step forward, three steps back. But your boy is lucky – he has you. Whether he sees it or not, that’s the important thing. Because no matter how often the system fails us, we are here to be the kids’ advocates and help support them regardless of the system.

    I know you need support too which may or may not come. But you do have one thing: you found an outlet with this blog and, by default, a small support system of sorts in us readers. ❤

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  5. I am so sorry – I agree – early intervention was so helpful for Declan. And for us as we learned the best way to support him. Hopeful you find some kind of support soon.

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  9. Those are some pretty serious waits!

    Have you given serious thought to moving?? 😉

    I know there is a strong need for ‘no change’ in both your lives but you need to weigh that against the drawbacks of staying in a place that is not helping you both live a fulfilling, rewarding life.

    There is the distinct possibility however, that even if you moved to as good a place as, say, Australia!, that some things you might still have to wait for.?

    But the only way to really know would be to try it. 🙂

    Good luck to your guys in the Match today!

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      1. As an 11 year old, I wasn’t all that keen on leaving my friends and the rest of my family or the place i grew up in either, but moving to Australia (where i knew no-one) was the best thing my parents could have possibly done for me/us.

        It’s not a matter of forcing anyone to do anything – it’s a matter of considering options and making decisions that give you both the very best chances of success and a decent life for the future.

        Of course, a major issue is the need to hang on to the things of the past that are associated with memories of much better times.

        Wishing the best for you both! 🙏

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  10. One thing parental training wouldn’t train for is to love your kids, which you obviously do, that’s the main thing. And as for that heatwave? Still pretty cloudy and cool near the river Tees for now! :/

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  15. Adding a comment to your post now,
    Good for you, keep pushing.
    We’re always waiting for something in the medical line, and now it’s for an out patients appointment for Hubby to be fitted with a three day monitor. At least the hospital have got it sorted and the blame lies with the GP for wrong prescription and no follow up care.
    As for the weather, we’re supposed to have thunder storms here, but so far just rain, and it’s the drizzle stuff that you don’t notice until you’re soaked to the skin and it’s hard to peel your clothes off clammy skin. Yuk.

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