Lockdown did have some advantages. One being – No Aeroplanes. Something about seeing a sky without any evidence of man made birds which are polluting the atmosphere. Now the number of vapour trails are slowly rising but clearly not back to the crowded skies of pre pandemic times. Which is still a bit of a win for the planet. Got to be pleased about that.

I did something that I’m not pleased about. Not at all. I snapped at Hawklad. Not a massive snap, but still a snap. Some post arrived and I quickly put the offending letters into the designated quarantine area. I quickly washed my hands then headed out to cut the grass.

Dad have you washed your hands.”

Which towel did you use.”

Which soap did you use.”


I don’t think you washed your hands for long enough. Can you wash them again.”

Maybe I was tired. Maybe it’s because I had gone 16 hours without food. Maybe I just wanted to get the grass cut before it rained. Maybe I was annoyed at myself for not washing my hands for long enough in the first place. Maybe it’s being seemingly stuck in Groundhog Day. For whatever reason, I snapped. Slammed the front door shut, did that teenage sigh, let out a little mild expletive, stomped to the bathroom and purposely washed in the noisiest fashion possible. Not massive stuff but unusual for me. We’ve all been there. Even Super Hero Parents are human…….

I quickly apologised and went outside to cool down. Easily done in today’s Yorkshire weather. All I could think about was school. What happens if he does decide to go back on the 11th September. His hyper hygiene mode will meet a school system which is basically winging it. Maybe they could make Hawklad into the Hygiene Monitor. Wow he would sort out the teachers and pupils. Definitely the iron fist of authority. But in all seriousness, the teachers and other kids will just not have the time or inclination to get anywhere near the hygiene levels that he’s got used to at home. The levels he needs for his own well-being. I can see some of the less patient teachers issuing so many negatives to him. But that was me just a few moments ago.

So more food for thought. As is the fact that in the broken cloudy skies, I can see three vapour trails. That’s the most in months…..

62 thoughts on “Snappy

  1. You’re human and hence fail able like the rest of us. The school question is indeed very very tricky. Hope you guys can reach a reasonable solution.


  2. I never thought about it until your post. About the planes I mean. I was thinking the other day how the skies have such a deep vibrant blue to them. Wonder if that might have some bearing on it. As for the snapping part that is so a parent thing. When Tember has not done something I want him to do I have reacted in exactly the same childish way. It is who we are. We get frustrated. Our kids know we are not really mad at them and they adjust. I apologize too. After I have had a tiny sulk. Hugs to you both. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You have an awful load of stress you have been carrying for a long time, magnified by this cursed virus that has made ordinary days much more challenging and difficult. Go easy on yourself. It is a terrible thing to contemplate, the health and well being of our children, especially when they have extra challenges that other kids do not. You are only human, and in my humble opinion, doing a supreme job of parenting. I snapped at my kids often, more often than I should have – but I am only human too. What is more important is the acknowledgment and apology that followed teaching your son that we may snap, we may make mistakes, but should always own up to our faults and make amends and apologies whenever possible. Be3 as kind to yourself as you are to your son. My mother used to say, “It will all come out in the wash”. And a good friend would say, “This, too, shall pass”. Everything will work out in the ways it is meant to. Lessons will be learned and life will go on. Wishing you days of peace; days of contentment; days of rest and rejuvenation. Be well, Gary.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry, I had to laugh at you slamming the door and washing noisily🤣🤣 That is SO me!
    Seriously though, I’d be more worried if you DIDN’T snap once in a while. We’ve all done it. We feel like jerks after, but it shows our kiddos we make mistakes too, we apologize and continue on. Even snapping is modeling good behavior.

    I really can’t see Hawklad going back to school. Has he said he wants to? How does he think he can, if he can’t leave the property?

    Gah! What a mess this year has been. I wish more people would think about how their actions might affect other people and quit being so dag-nabbit selfish!!💌

    Liked by 2 people

  5. You know? It was bound to happen. You are allowing him to control you. I know he has a grave issue but you need to take care of you, no?? Maybe this would be a learning moment when you explain how closed up you feel and that you care for him, and what about you? I know that I do not know your situation, but I also know that you can’t keep on like this. Sending lots and lots of love.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. My son is washing his hands up to his elbows and they are red and raw. He has also taken to putting every item of clothing he owns into the wash every day. It’s not easy and I occasionally lose it too. We are human, after all. We just pick ourselves up and try again.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I don’t see how you be strong enough not to snap once in a while. But you apologised. So many wouldn’t. I can’t see how the lad will choose to go back to school?
    I had previous experience of no aeroplanes. It was extremely poignant. I was in Seattle for 9/11, just started leave to spend with a special friend. Both of us aviation people, both strongly connected with NY. We didn’t know what to do, so we went up Mt Rainier and stayed the night in the (then) rather seedy inn. Being there with no contrails was strange, moving and someone played “Glory Hallelujah” on the piano. Shall never forget it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was driving from the east coast of Canada to the west coast, between Kenora and Winnipeg. It was fairly early in the morning, probably around 9 or 10 CDT, New Brunswick plates on my car. In less than an hour I was stopped three times by Mounties, once at gunpoint, and forced to completely empty my car on the side of the road. I am glad it was a sunny day. The officers would not tell me why, and I had to repack the car each time. It was the third guy who pulled his weapon when I demanded to know what was going on. “Come on, I’ve already been seached twice,” I said irritatingly. The weapon came out, “Just do it!” he said menacingly. Of course I asked him why. “Step back, over there.” He pointed at a spot about 10 feet away. “Stay there!” Even more menacingly. And he proceeded to pull everything out of my car, inspecting it, and throwing it on the ground between us. I guess I looked like a terrorist, I remember thinking later. When the car was completely empty, even the garbage was thrown out, he said, “Pack it up and get out of here. And take your garbage with you.” I knew better than to expect him to help, but I did ask “politely” if he would radio ahead and tell his Mountie buddies he had thoroughly searched my car, and that I had nothing of interest to anyone but me. He didn’t say a word, just got back into his vehicle, and drove away. I wasn’t stopped again. I guess he did as requested, though I didn’t think he would. When I got into Winnipeg around noon, with Alice’s Restaurant Massacre running through my head, I went to a bar and watched the news. (Did I forget to say I did not have a working radio?) That’s when I really started shaking. That third cop had a very nervous trigger finger! What if I had had something he thought was suspicious. He probably would have thrown me in his cruiser and taken me away, leaving all my stuff on the ground, and the car doors unlocked. Maybe he have just shot me, and left me to bleed out.
      That was a scary day. All because, for me, some terrorists had entered the States through a New Brunswick border crossing. Winnipeg being my home town, I had places to stay. I stayed till things calmed down a bit, before I left with my NB licence plates, heading west again.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. It happens, and I am sure Hawklad realises that. The idea of him being a monitor is brilliant.
    We’ve had vapour trails for a while, and the RAF practicing their night runs along the coast. For every hour in the air, it’s 22 on the ground with the maintenance crews. Makes you wonder if it’s worth it.


  9. I was once a single parent of a young child, and I can’t even imagine what you must be going through with a pandemic, changing your diet, fasting and other daily stresses. Hang in there. Trust me when I say, when your son is in his 30s, he will not remember you snapped at him. He’ll only remember all the great times spent with his dad during the pandemic.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Do not beat yourself up. This pandemic is getting old . And moods are a bit much . And I believe it shows how much you love him because your mood is just how worried you are for him. Please don’t be hard on yourself yes even superhero parents loose it at times. Hugs😔

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Seriously Gary, that is nothing, just normal human behaviour and totally understandable. If you want to see snappy I can show you a thing or two. I can appreciate your worried about school. Everything is so up in the air I can see many of the children not going back at all.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Well, ya know… is stressful times happening in general. It’s ok, and you apologized.

    I can be snippy when frustrated on occasion myself. I also do teenager sighs with eye rolls as well lol 😄✌️

    But as long as your communication with him is good. And off day is fine. Don’t worry too much.

    Also… I don’t think he is going to want to go back to school?? Not with the virus and how stringent he is with hygiene practices –

    I think he will want to wait? Are you able to let him homeschool?

    Ours tells us will be better now… we shall see… right now everyone will be homeschooled over here until our area stops going up 😔

    Just keep your lines of communication going with him and you will both come to good decisions ✌️

    Liked by 2 people

  13. You are A BLOODY GOOD DAD.. Dont berate yourself for being human. I lost it yesterday when Jasper rolled in a huge pile of horse pooh… anyway I rolled him over in green clean grass in panic and he ran a mile.. we cope all alone and its okay to be human. Hugs and love ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I had forgotten about that, Gary, thanks for reminding me. Our atmosphere is the cleanest it has been for decades, maybe since the start of the Industrial Revolution. Mother Nature acts, even if humans refuse to. We should be thankful she knows what to do.
    Too bad she will still lose in the end. People, our so-called leaders, will go right back to our/their evil ways. But it is nice to breathe cleaner air, until we dirty it again. Maybe Mother Nature had a plan B. I sure hope so.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Being off the beaten airways, and except for the few small wildfires burning in our area, we can’t see the pollution again yet. I want it to stay like this.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. At least there are still cyber hugs. I think you could use one, so I’m sending one. Yes, even superhero parents are human. You still do an amazing job. One moment in time doesn’t change that. You’re still Superdad.

    Liked by 1 person

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