Sunsets just happen. Nothing we can do to influence them. Maybe move to a better position to saviour them.

Loss can come from a range of sources. External factors. From within. The loss of someone special. The loss of something so vital to us. So many potential causes. And so many different roads to travel. Each grief journey is unique.

I’m on my own unique road which I must travel. I’ve come to realise three vital things about my own journey

  • It is possible for me to LIVE AGAIN,
  • It’s just as ok to LAUGH AND LOVE as it is to WEEP AND BE SAD,
  • I’m not alone on this journey.

And one more inevitable fact. Grief is like the tides and the passing of the day. I can’t fight them, I can’t stop them. When they happen I’ve just got to let them wash over me. Experience them. Knowing that they will eventually ebb away.

Take care.

88 thoughts on “Ebb

  1. Reminds me of what wise old king Solomon once said, “there’s a time for everything under the sun” etc. – from Ecclesiastes 3. He goes on to include things like laughter and sorrow, war and peace…

    Liked by 3 people

      1. The nazis starting a war was wrong. If Hitler had not started the war, if he had not been “given the power” to start that war, there would have been no war.


      2. So you deny “god”‘s existence when convenient, and blame Him for “giving the power” when convenient. Does God exist in your mind or not?


      3. Not power from god, power from, in this case, the German people.
        (You want to belive in your god, Robert, that is your right. I don’t know that Gary wants to give over his blog to such a discussion, but this is where we find ourselves, so I will say my piece, and give Gary the permission to delete my words, at least, if he does not want them there. Please, Gary, give Robert time to read what I am about to say, then do as you see fit.Thank you. If possible, I will copy and paste our discusson, and put it into a post on my blog. Then, if Robert wants to enter my world, he and I can continue our conversation there. (Or he can invite me to his blog.) My apologies to you, Gary, but I have been challenged, and I feel the need to respond.)
        To restart. Robert, you said, “So you deny β€œgodβ€β€˜s existence when convenient, and blame Him for β€œgiving the power” when convenient. Does God exist in your mind or not?”
        First, I do not deny your god’s existence when convenient, I deny his existence, outrightly, completely, entirely, for eternity. THERE IS NO GOD, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.
        Thank you for attemting to put words in my mouth that I would never speak, but no, no god or other all-knowing, aΔΊl-powerful superbeing exists in my life, not just in my mind. Where did you read that the power Hitler took to do what he did came from your god. That power came from those German citizens who were either blind to his intentions, agreed with his intentions, or did not stand up to prevent his intentions from ever happening.
        In fact, I find it pretty astounding that you could think your god would grant anyone the power to do not only what Hitler did, or any other mass murderer has done since the beginning of life on earth, whether 6000 years ago, or 6 billion years ago. No one should ever have such power! Yet how many times has it happened in just the last 150 years, not the 4.5 billion years life as we know it has existed. I know some names of mass-murderers in the last 150 years, actually lets go back to before Columbo arrived in the western hemisphere. Pizarro, the leaders of what is now America who tried to commit genocide on my ancestors who they called inhuman savages, giving them the right to slaughter them in the name of christianity. Canada, same thing. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, they murdered on larger scales, but America has had how many postal shooting, and school shootings, and crowd shootings, terrorist murder plots, etc. Even Trump, who ordered the murders of Kashoggi, and Soleimani. These are all people who were given the power, or took the power upon them, to destroy other living beings, I will only mention the murderers of the Dodo, or the buffalo in passing, except to say those people who slaughtered the bison for their skins, leaving the meat to rot on the expanses of the prairies, billions upon billions of completely unnecessary and useless murders, all of them mass muderers. You want to put all these murders on the non-existent shoulders of your all-powerful god? You should be ashamed of yourself, but if that is how you choose to live, sobeit. It’s your right.
        I choose to blame the murdering people themselves who did these deeds, and lay some of the blame at the feet of the nations, the cutures, and the societies who bred them, including the relgions who blessed their works. Funny how both sides of many conflicts claim their god’s approval in what they did. And you wonder that I chose to stop believing in such deities, and theities? Who is the insane one here?
        How, Robert, did you ever come to the conclusion the power I spoke of was coming from your god. Those were not my words, but it WAS your assumption.
        I know you want me to appear to your friends and fellow-belivers as the flip-flopper, but I am cherry-picking nothing, while believers in the “One True God” cherry-pick the bible for those parts which they choose to accept, and ignore the parts they don’t like or believe. You opened the discussion to “beliefs of convenience,” sir, not me. Don’t get all upset over your opponent for using against you the weapons you brought to use against him. Meanwhile, you used them under false pretences, not arguing against what I said, but against WHAT YOU CHOSE TO BELIEVE I SAID. Do you think I am just going to sit back and let you walk over me and the good little boy you want me to be, or are you going to fight the fight you started, instead of running and hiding behind your mother’s skirts, and the fatherly robes of your religious leaders? I’ll tell you right now, you can only lose this fight, because you are dishonest, and you choose to obfuscate, but mostly because you do not know anything about your chosen enemy. This is the problem with the so-called war between theists and atheist, “you choose to believe what you have been told about your enemy,” while I, whom you think is your enemy, may not be a friend, though I am not ruling a friendship out, I am just a living being, hoping you will give me the respect you demand I give to you, whether you deserve it or not. At this point you do not. You, as I was saying, think you know me. I do know you, to the extent that I used to be you. As a child, I believed all the things I was told, even as you still do. I believed there was a God, because I was told there was a god. I even believed that this god loved me, though he/she/it never told me that, always I was told by someone else, someone representing this god, but never by God. So, eventually, I asked, “Where is God?” I was given such answers as everywhere, in churches, in my heart even (how could anyone but me know what or who was in my heart), and the most common answer of all, in Heaven. What did someone in some heaven know, or care about little young me here on earth? He didn’t speak directly to me, he wasn’t willing to meet with me, have a conversation with me, or take a walk with me–not even through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. He never even bought me an ice-cream cone. Nor have you, Robert. All I get from you are meddling, accusations, lies and challenges, and I get no respect. You would rather believe the lies other people tell you, other people who do not know me either, than come to the horse to learn what is in his mouth, than listen to my truth. As I said I’ve been you. I know how you operate.
        Finally, I have calmed myself down from the outrage I let you make me feel. But tell me, please, Robert, if other people tell lies about you, or try to diminish you in front of your friends, how does that make you feel? Outraged, I don’t doubt it.
        So, do you wish to continue this discussion, person to person, not theist to atheist, or even theist to atheist but still person-to-person, I am more than happy to oblige. I will, with your permission, transfer it to my blog (unless Gary is willing to let us continue here, where he can moderate if he likes.) where other people can participate if they feel the urge. Please let me know. rawgod


      4. For someone you don’t believe in, you seem to have a lot of rage towards “god”. And for someone I thought was pacifist, to talk of a “war” between atheists and theists seems a bit strong. I would rather a conversation than a war, but I’m happy for tovisit and comment on your blog, and I’m sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings. I come in peace, not war! Robert


      5. Hi, Gary, feel free to delete all my comments here, thogh hopefully you will kee the first one. The rest have all been moved to my blog under the name A Conversation with Robert? My apologies.


      6. No problem. I’m not trying to tell you how to run your blog. But as a commentor I did feel this post was not the proper place for this discussion. I got carried away, and I am willing to,pay the price of censorship. Anyway, it won’t continue on my part. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This was so beautiful and inspiring and felt from not only experience but from your heart. You my friend are like that one special shaped seashell watched upon the shore that you must pickup before the tide takes it back out. Hugs

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m very happy that you are discovering your truths for your journey. Those three things are significant and essential for healing and progressing. You are doing so well.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Learning to live alongside grief and embracing laughter and joy sound to me like a good journey to be on. Your three things are really meaningful and so important. Lovely post my friend. X

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You is one wise man for a Muppet. But Kermit was pretty wise too, so I guess it fits.

    Feelings aren’t good or bad, they just ARE and it’s definitely okay to feel the full effects of them.

    Looking to nature, is also wise. The cycles, the ebbs and flows… I am envious of your beautiful sunset picture btw…

    As someone already pointed out, you got this! Maybe your nickname should be KermitπŸ˜‰πŸ’Œ

    Liked by 1 person

  5. so true…i think on this very little control we have, less than we realize.But in a sense, that is my biggest comfort up the control, and allowing life to wash over me like a gentle river….big hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Losses come to us all in life, but the pain caused by the death of a partner has to be so intense. No, I have not experienced that as yet and I cannot even imagine the pain. I am glad you are coping so well, even if you are swamped by the waves of grief from time to time. You hold up hope for the rest of us who have not been on this particular journey yet. As you know, my hubby’s health has been failing for years now. It is a lot of little deaths as little by little he is forced to give up things he once enjoyed, a series of losses we both grieve. Walking this path with him has been painful and challenging at times. Yet, there is still life, as constrained and limited as it is. Taking it one day at a time (and sometimes just minutes at a time) makes the hurdles less overwhelming. So far we have been so richly blessed with everything we may need in the present moment. Reading your blog, walking with you, in a sense, through the minefield of grief, strengthens me and I just am so grateful for all you share concerning your particular journey. God bless you. And may you continue to be given whatever you may need to deal with the fallout.

    Liked by 1 person

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