The snow has gone. The temporary lake is starting to shrink. Signs that Spring is on its way.

Another work call confirming that the work plans involving me are as empty as the tyres on my bike which hasn’t been used since 2019. Thats completely airless. Not going to loose any sleep over that. No point. Maybe next year. A quick scan of the new job situation indicates a job market that is as fiat as my last loaf of bread which actually reduced in size when it should have risen. It really is just a case of battening down the hatches until things pick up again.

In our case that is not a band thing.

Hawklads fears are still there. If anything a bit worse. Absolutely zero chance of him being able to cope in the outside world any time soon. Getting through the front door is too much at present for him. Even me venturing out into the front garden really spooked him. So that’s stopped. The Front Door has not been unlocked in days. Once a day I sneak out the back gate and feed the birds, check on the rust bucket car, put the rubbish into the bin and pick up any deliveries that are sat on the front step.

Our world has shrunk further. The house and the back garden now is all that’s left. So no work allows me the time to focus on Hawklad. Try to give him the support he needs. Try to give him a reasonable quality of life and as much fun as can be found.

Hopefully Spring will arrive and the garden will become more enticing. It will be nice to sit outside with a coffee without 25 layers on. But I will miss our lake…. miss the world.

50 thoughts on “Shrinkage

      1. I hope the same for you! Actually, I hope your world opens up an inch, or really a foot, each day. I wish so much for you to be able to get out or do something new – and to keep that new thing as your new daily routine. My fingers are so crossed for you, my friend! x


  1. Shrinkage – that’s the most insidious thing anxiety does to a person. It makes their world smaller and smaller. The two guys in my life live with it. I hope with a change of weather, and when the world begins to feel safe again, Hawklad will venture out a bit.

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  2. I’m so sorry your world keeps shrinking. You’re an amazing dad and support to Hawklad though, and Spring will help. Spring WILL be more enticing. You have my prayers and much love to you both. ❤❤


  3. Platitudes aside, things really do seem bleakest before they change for the better. That’s been my experience anyway.
    Time never moves fast enough when things are rough, and it flys by when things are going well.

    It will be sad to see the lake go, but less mud cant be bad.😉

    Hopefully as more people are vaccinated and the “news media” moves on to the next scandal or celebrity faux pas, Hawklad will be able to let go of some of his anxiety. Slow, slow time…
    Send lots of HUGS for you to hang onto. You may be stuck in your garden, but you’re NOT alone. 💌💌💌💌💌


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