Whisper it. It’s Sunny in Yorkshire.

Sunny with the hint of rainbows.

I wonder what lies in the direction of that rainbow. Is it a pot of gold or just maybe its the best dreams ever.

That rainbow took me back several centuries to when I was at school. School had set off on a school outing. Given the rather robust nature of some of the kids at our school, we should have had a police escort to keep us in check. The trip was described as a ‘Mystery Tour’. You get on the bus and have no idea where you are going. They were popular in Yorkshire and I remember mum going on a few with her bingo chums. Dad would do his own mystery tours but usually always in the local pub for some reason.

Anyway the 4 coaches set off just after the morning roll call. One coach for each year group. There should have been 5 coaches but one complete year group spectacularly all got banned from the trip. Something to do with the Headteachers desk being set alight and the words ‘Year Group 3 waz here’ graffitied in the vicinity.

So the bus convey set off with our rust bucket at the rear. All went well for an hour until we got stuck in traffic and lost touch with the other vehicles. Here is where the plan started to unravel. The young reserve teacher had as much idea of the our final destinations as we did. Unfortunately the bus driver was equally in the dark. Apparently he was a very late substitution as well and assumed the teacher would know. His instructions had been to follow the other buses and if he lost touch, one of the other drivers would wait for him or just ask the teacher……. They BUSES DID NOT WAIT……

So we aimlessly drove around the countryside for a couple of hours. No sign of the other buses. This was an era in human history before mobile phones had been invented. The only Red Public Phone Boxes we encountered were out of order. When we did find one that was working the teacher ran out of coins waiting for the person who had answered the phone to go and locate the headteacher.

Eventually the complete mystery trip was abandoned and we headed back to school. Unfortunately soon afterwards the rust bucket bus broke down in the middle of nowhere. A kindly passing farmer helped fix the poorly bus. But it took a couple of hours. So we all sat by the side of the road and ate our packed lunches. As a rain shower passed through, a beautiful rainbow appeared over the hills. The young teacher asked the year group if they could remember the colours of the rainbow. Unfortunately some of the kids were long since past caring about education. I remember a young angelic voice booming out across the landscape.

‘F### Knows, I’m cold, I’m eff*** bored and Tommy has just tipped Vinnies Tizer all over the floor’

A fight then broke out as the chastened teacher kept his head down and ate his sandwich.

We did eventually make it back. Strangely our year group was banned from the next outing. Can’t say I was exactly upset about that when we found out where that was heading to. The beach in winter. Saltburn, otherwise known as The Yorkshire Winter Siberia…. At least we didn’t have to turn the headteacher’s desk into ashes to get out of that tropical delight.

28 thoughts on “Outings Part 2

  1. I won’t be typing for all to see, some of the things I got up to on a school trip, but that in it’s own way it was educational. I do believe one of the teachers thought they saw me, but that I had taken off the uniform and been able to pass as an adult. 🍺 🥂 🍷 🥃 🍸 🍹🍺

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      1. Oh those innocent days before video cameras on mobile phones and uploading everything to t’Internet. Closest technology to that would a been a Polaroid 📸 instant camera. I can’t imagine any of my Secondary Modern teachers affording that or indeed taking it on a school trip with a mixed group of the equivalent of St Trinian’s 🏑 meets Grange Hill.

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      1. Indeed, that’s why I took off my tie and sauntered off as soon as we arrived at some county show.Loads of teens, maybe two adults. There was no chance of education or any supervision.

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  2. Well that certainly sounded like quite the mystery tour indeed! 😆 On the plus side, that is one beautifully epic rainbow you spotted at Yorkshire. It is a sign of good things to come!

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  3. Rainbows are worth just about any hassle… just about😉😂
    No radios on those busses either? That’s surprising.

    I loved going as a chaperone on Field Trips with my girls… especially to the Museums. I got to see the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit and the Pompeii exhibit. Free!!

    At Dead Sea Scrolls, one very intelligent 13 year old young man observed that “This sucks! None of it is written in English”🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ I thought about trying to explain, but this was for History class and if he didn’t already get why the Scrolls weren’t in English, I’d be wasting my breath😂😂😂

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  4. But, where was the surprise outing you missed in this first trip?

    This is a wonderful story, and testament to how much more controlled and worriedly safe education is these days.

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