Sorry for the bad picture pun……
Another one of the annual milestones is close by. I can’t believe so many years have passed.
Loss in whatever form is a part of life. That message is hard to accept at times, it definitely was for me. But when the time is right you can start to see that, eventually I started to appreciate that.
Loss never LEAVES you but it doesn’t mean that you can’t keep living,
It might well be a different life with some doors now closed but when the time is right, there are new doors waiting to be opened. It still can be a wonderful life, one you value even more because loss never LEAVES you.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
You always spot the pop of colour. You always see the positive in the negatives. Your posts leaf me coming back for more. Stay super Superdad. ❤
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True. Wishing you both all the best.
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Loss IS a part of life, for sure, but 3 years and 7 months afterwards, all doors are sill closed for me — to hell with a ‘wonderful life’.
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Don’t know how much time you have, Michêl, but the time can come if you let it. But you need to be willing to open the door. It only stays closed if you want it to stay closed.
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You’re right, which means I guess I want it to stay closed. I’m a hopeless case, bound for oblivion. Haha, I try to treat it as a joke.
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Not my place to ask, tell me to rake a hike. Why do you want to keep the doors closed? What’s in it for you?
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It does seem stupid, and I guess I don’t really want to shut myself off from other opportunities. It must be septuagenarian ennui. After a lifetime of sturm and drang I’m content to take the easy road — a country road with my cat and my intellectual pursuits — with a ripping good action movie thrown in for good measure.
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Oh, my. I just wrote you such a beautiful true story, then lost it all by hitting a bad key. I will try to rewrite it.
My oldest brother married his childhood sweetheart. They lived together for over 50 years. When she died he wanted to kill himself he was so heartbroken. Enter a woman two years older than him. She too had married her childhood sweetheart and she had been crushed when he died. They started spending time together commiserating, pouring their hearts out to each other. One day she asked him for a hug because she had not had a hug for a long time. The rest is history. They fell in love with each other, and both agreed this love was nothing like their previous loves. They honoured their past loves, but created something entirely knew. I can attest my brother had never been so happy in his life. He was like a whole new man. Her daughters agreed their mother was happier than she had ever been. It was a true love story for the ages.
I cannot guarantee anyone else can have the fairytale ending my brother and new sister-in-law had, but it is never too late to try. They are both dead now, but they were never as alive as they were together, after their first loves were over.
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That’s an encouraging story and I thank you for taking the time to send it to me, and not to dismiss it lightly (and I hope you don’t see it that way), but such an opportunity has never presented itself to me and is not likely to, and the fact of the matter is I’m not interested in going down that road again. Nice thought, but not for me.
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Each to their own. If you don’t think your life can be improved upon, I am happy for you. At 72, I am still looking for new experiences — good, bad, or indiffrent. For me, life is experience.
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Maybe it could be ‘improved upon’ but I find myself (or lose myself) in such a deep state of melancholia that I do not have the will or the energy to try and escape (the deaths of two brothers, a son and a wife can do that to you).
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I havent lost a wife to deayh, or a child unless you count the one that was aborted (but I don’t).My sperm donor’s loss was a plus. But I have lost 5 brothers now, though no sisters, a mother when I was 8, my best friend, a k8nd of foster mother and fathet, too. But my belief in reincarnation takes the sting out of death.
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Five brothers! Hell, I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes I think there might be something to reincarnation, especially after a dream where I find myself in a place that I’ve never been to in my current real life but one that, in the dream, is totally familiar to me. Or if people pop up in my dreams who I’ve never known in real life but know so well in the dream. All weird stuff that makes me wonder…
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Everything makes me wonder, lol. But reincarnation is only weird if you live in North America, or Europe. There are billions of people in this world who think it is totally normal.The oldest religions in the world accept that it is real. Hindus. Jains, and Buddhists for three. When I was 19 years old I had two experiences that convinced me reincarnation is real. Not in the way those religions believe it works, but still “we” do survive after death, not our egos or even our minds, but our spirits. Life is forever, even if we here on Earth blow up our planet and kill all life on it. Life does not exist only on our planet, or even only in our universe.Life is, and and always will be. In my belief system, at least.
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Hang onto that dream, because when you die you won’t know what happened anyway. The heart will stop beating and the brain will cease to function as will all bodily and mental functions, it’ll be all over, total blackness and unawareness, you will no longer exist, just like before you were born. No big deal.
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That is almost how I look at death. But not quite. I see death as having two options. One I find out that “I” still have some kind of life. Or two, i never know that I am truly dead.
Seeing as the latter option is totally meaningless, I might as well choose to live like life matters and try to become the best possible person I can be. It’s no sweat off my nose if I am wrong.
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Fair enough.
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You’ve said it so well Gary.
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True words! Keep pushing on, my friend!
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No it does not ever leave you, but the fact that you keep moving forward is something you need to be proud of. Hugs Gary♥️
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I always appreciate that even in moments of sadness, you can sneak in your dad puns. Sending you and Hawklad lots of 💕 tonight.
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So true, Gary. I was told to move on after our loss because people who depended upon us had become uncomfortable with the change in us that grief always brings. I found this exhortation cruel and unfeeling – if not downright ridiculous. There was no moving on, at least not in the way people were hoping. But as you have found, we take grief and loss with us everywhere we go and in everything we do. And just like you, it has taught us that new joy is possible and that hope lives on.
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So very true
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❤ ❤ ❤
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Even in loss, your humor never leaves. That’s a gift, Gary. It doesn’t take the loss or hurt away, but it shows the strength you have~and what a blessing for Hawklad. Prayers for strength and continued healing. 💛💛🙏🏻
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❤
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This profound insight can only happen through experience. Sending you big hugs, Gary.
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You have to keep living for those who no longer do. Loss and grief are always there, but can lie dormant for long periods. It’s our lot, isn’t it? But anniversaries are hard.
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We learn to live with the losses and if we have an attitude of grace we can be grateful if we knew a precious love. Having to go alone with Hawklad was doubly tough… sending you a hug and lots of love.
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Thank you my friend ❤️
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❤️
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