Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 59 Comments

Thoughts and dreams

In years gone by if I needed to think. Be with my thoughts. I would go for a run. Maybe go climbing. Those things worked best for me. But then parenting and then single parenting curtailed the climbing option. It was then running. Fell running to collect and process my thoughts. Often I would start a run then become lost in my thoughts. Only the alarm on my watch would bring me back to reality. I would be miles into the hills and it would be a mad sprint to get back home for the return of the school bus.

Then the pandemic happened. We went into our family lockdown. So far 16 months of a lockdown. I lost running. But I didn’t lose my need to think. So I discovered the joys of leaning against our back garden fence. Thinking while looking over the fields and scanning the distant horizon from a little hill top home.

It worked.

So this morning I was leaning on the fence. Thinking. Looking at a distant beautiful tree. Dreaming.

But then I was joined. Someone decided to invade my space and block my view.

I’m can’t really see the tree now. I’m having to stroke and feed this one. I’m telling this cow my dreams. She seems udderly fascinated. Or maybe she’s herd then all before. Definitely deja moo…

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 34 Comments

Feedback

When I first moved into the village all those years ago I remember going for a walk. No map, no real idea where I was heading. Just went to explore the new locality. Near the farm track in the photo is a path. On that first walk I followed that path. It looked like it was going to take me in roughly the right direction. But with no map I couldn’t check. Guess what. It went in the wrong direction. I got lost and it took me hours to get back home.

Hawklad has been submitting homework studiously all school year. He’s hardly had any marks or feedback returned. He’s been asking me to check his work as he just wasn’t sure how he was doing.

This morning out of the blue he received a very brief teacher comment about a piece of work submitted last week. The first feedback from this teacher in over a year. The comment simply said ‘Spot on’….

Here’s the problem. I had checked that work and it was good but it had mistakes. Some big mistakes. I had sat down with Hawklad to show him where he was right and where he was not so right. We talked through ways to answer those areas better. That’s feedback. I’m sorry but ‘Spot on’ doesn’t help Hawklad. He could end up going into exams doing some things the wrong way. Yes provide praise and reassurance but please also give tips to improve…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 50 Comments

Nothing

It’s nearly 1pm. I need to pinch myself. Is it really a school day. School at home day. So far absolutely nothing from school this week. No lesson material, no assigned work, no idea what the class is doing. Nothing. That’s three blank lessons so far.

It’s been that quiet we even checked to make sure we hadn’t got the dates wrong and school is on holiday. But no, it’s a full school day.

“What shall I do Dad then….”

Well as we have no idea what his class was doing. No idea even what subjects the class was looking at. It’s a blank sheet of paper. A good chance for Hawklad to set the agenda. Take control of what he learns. So I said what any self respecting Dad would say.

Well Son you can go and wash my car……

“No Dad. What school work shall I do.”

What one subject do you most want to learn about.

“History, definitely history. Second World War.”

Ok spend the morning indulging yourself in the that. And when you finish. You can get off your backside, go outside and clean my car 😂😂😂

***********

And that’s what he did. He studied the Nuremberg War Trials. He so far hasn’t got round to cleaning my car. But here’s the problem. He’s taller than me so I can’t really put my foot down anymore. I might just have to do that job myself.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 51 Comments

Hermit

We all get those conversations where the other person seems to assume that we have been granted the power of mind reading.

A phone call exchange this morning sums that up perfectly….

“I’m surprised you haven’t responded sooner to my concerns.”

I’m sorry but I’ve got no idea what your talking about…..

“I would expect a prompt and courteous response…”

What is your concern because I have no idea what your talking about.

“I’ve told you exactly what my concern is….”

No you haven’t…

“I spoke to you yesterday when I phoned you….”

No you didn’t. I spoke to one person on my mobile yesterday and it certainly wasn’t you. In fact I have no idea who you are.

“I emailed you as well and you didn’t reply to that “

I didn’t reply as I didn’t get your email. Are you sure you’ve phoned the right person…

“Perfectly sure. You know exactly who I am. You can’t just fob me off. “

I haven’t got the foggiest who you are.

“Your still avoiding giving me a straight answer.”

Who do you think you are speaking to…

“Simon ######## from xxxxxxxxxx”

That’s not me. That’s not my company. You have phoned the wrong person.

“You have been so &*#@@!!! Unhelpful.”

**** and with that he slammed the phone down****

Wow…… I can so understand why people become hermits now…… Maybe a few more years of lockdown might not be such a bad thing…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 32 Comments

Road

Yes it’s another one of those massive, multi lane Yorkshire motorways.

We are a couple of weeks into the start of trying to help Hawklad build bridges back towards the wider world again. It started with us taking the mad dog for a walk at night. Nighttime as it would be quiet with no other people out and about. Small steps in breaking out of walls that surround our little house and garden. The isolation which started 15 months ago.

We quickly realised that actually it’s always pretty quiet here, not just at night. So we started going for the walk a little earlier. Now nearer 7pm. Guess what. We still hardly see another soul. Currently that’s perfect for Hawklad. Very rarely we see a farmer or another dog walker. When that happens Hawklad immediately turns on his heels and heads quickly home in the opposite direction.

The other thing is that Hawklad doesn’t like to walk on the path. Just doesn’t feel comfortable doing that. So we walk on the road. Our massive and very busy road….

Well you can see just how big our road is. Just how busy it really is can be gauged on one fact. We have been walking every night straight down the middle of the road. Not once have we encountered a vehicle. The road is ours….

That’s such a cool feel. Such a cool feel for both of us. I can concentrate fully on talking and in the quiet bits, on dreaming.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Slippery slope?

About 2 years ago I remember worrying about what would happen to my country if we were ever stupid enough to elect a narcissistic sociopath as Prime Minister. Our rules and checks are just not designed for that level of stress testing. They were designed for much different times, with mouth different moral codes.

Then we elected Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

We were clearly that STUPID……

Let’s just watch the freedoms drip away …….

I don’t want to write about this stuff. I really don’t. But every week I end up writing more and more about what is happening to my country…. It just keeps coming.

One of the most respected journalists in our country has wrote the following words…. “No 10 (Johnson) is trying to control the media, everyone in our democracy should be afraid”.

Today a member of Johnson’s Government was talking about museums. He said that the Government had the right to tell Museums what they can and can’t display in their exhibits…..

This is on top of exerting increased control over what schools and colleges can teach and what materials they can select from.

On top of putting friends in charge of the BBC, Johnson is increasingly positioning trusted supporters as heads of once independent watchdogs.

Yes there have been investigations into him and his government but here’s the problem. Most of these independent investigations have rules that mean that they report only to the Prime Minister. And guess what, Johnson has rejected their findings.

Our Government structures were never designed for someone like Johnson. Sadly my fears are playing out in front of my eyes.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Childhood

Do you remember when school holidays meant time off for our kids….

Hawklad and I received emails from school this morning. The emails set out the times of the upcoming year exams. Straight after the half term week holiday. The emails listed all the areas which each pupil are expected to cover in revision. The revision also includes mandatory online tasks that won’t be marked but will be monitored by teachers. All tasks are expected to be completed. The email stressed that they are expecting pupils to undertake significant work levels over the week off…..

To be fair to school they are only following Government guidelines and instructions. The Government has repeatedly spoken of its desire to increase the length of the school day and reduce the number of school holidays. It believes children have too much time off. They have it too easy…..

Parents will have differing views on this. I think you might be able to guess my take on this. I think it’s all BS…… Making pupils work harder and longer is just a smokescreen for covering up the failings of our current school system. Too many trumped up experts getting jobs as politicians, thinking they know best. It shouldn’t be about the quantity of teaching, it should be about the QUALITY of the education.

Ban politicians from education. Let teachers teach… Let Headmaster run the school. Involve the pupils and parents fully. Reverse the trend to test at every level just to populate government performance league tables. We are even testing 5 year olds for pity sake. If the politicians want to do something useful then they should concentrate on finding the resources to help specialists deal with the growing mental health crisis amongst our children.

And above all. Let children enjoy their childhood.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Leaning

A beautiful little leaning tree we pass on the dog walk… A favourite watering hole of a mad four legged one. No wonder it leans. It leans but it still has a purpose.

I was looking at an email sent from school setting out the upcoming year end exams. Day after day of exams. Often two a day. But what is the purpose. Whose purpose do they represent. Are they really Hawklad’s purpose. Apart from History, Geography, English and Maths, would he freely choose the other subjects. Would he put himself through these exams. Even with his favourite subjects, would he not focus on other areas rather than the predetermined ones set for him by the Government.

A Government Minister was waffling on about how our children should be focusing on this subject and that subject. They were doing too much of this and not enough of that…. Has he bothered to ask what the children want. He’s thinking about the purpose specified by the economy, not the purpose which necessarily the children would pick for themselves.

Ok I get the point of learning the basics but why should some out of touch numpty in London determine which subjects my child is taught. Determine which areas are looked at. Which textbooks are read. Set the teaching method. Determines how much religious education is taught. What art is studied. Basically setting everything…..

So whose purpose is this. Is it really Hawklad’s.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 44 Comments

Direction

A sudden change of direction.

School has just emailed all parents. They have been instructed to make some changes to its COVID school rules. As of next week the wearing of masks will not be enforced in classrooms even though many of them classrooms are small and have poor ventilation. The wearing of masks in other communal areas such as corridors and toilets will remain compulsory for staff but not for students. At present the school understands that all other COVID rules will be reviewed nationally and potentially removed in June.

In other news the Government’s own scientific advisory panel has said and I quote

Lateral flow test positivity increased in schools……this highlights the importance of maintaining current mitigation measures in schools, such as testing and mask wearing, in the current months….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 74 Comments

Rain

Britain is getting back to NORMAL. That’s what our so called Prime Minister tells us under his still to be combed hair. It was also confirmed by our postman. Apparently this week, three kind souls have either sneezed or coughed over the postie without bothering to cover their mouths – never mind them not wearing masks. With a shrug of the shoulders the postman sadly left with the comment ‘back to normal then’…..

Here’s the thing. Was the old normal that good…..

Surely we should be aiming for something better than just going back to the old normal.

It’s not as if the last year has just been a little blip in the world. We have gone through something which is of historic significance. It has changed so many things. So many have suffered. So much has been lost. Surely with something this significant there should be changes. Some enforced by life but surely some changes should be driven by us. Driven by us to make the world and our life’s BETTER. Not just being happy with the old normal.