Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Anxieties

Is traditional school based education possible for every child.

I’m thinking more and more about that.

Trying not to go over too much old ground but Hawklad has been off from school since March 2020. A combination of school lockdowns and extreme anxieties. Anxieties about health, about viruses, about people, about crowds.

He is really fortunate to have a Child Psychologist working with him. The Psychologist is clear that one of the biggest tasks Hawklad is facing is to start to unpick all these anxieties. See which ones can be addressed in the short term and those that are deeper engrained or are a part of his personality. This is a difficult at the best of times but trying to do this during a pandemic is a nightmare. And most certainly real progress on some of his health and virus anxieties will not happen while people need to wear masks, while their is still so much uncertainty and while people are catching the virus in their thousands each day. Yesterday here it was 27000 new cases and still 1800 in hospital. Sadly 22 deaths yesterday.

The Government is clear. Children have to return to the classroom immediately. Schools should not encourage homeschooling. Schools are perfectly safe. School COVID-19 cases are rising rapidly. At present there are over 400 confirmed cases in the country with somewhere between 10 and 20% experiencing serious symptoms or encountering Long COVID implications.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of schools being open with no additional safeguards one fact is clear. There are children out there who have severe anxieties or have underlying health conditions who shouldn’t be in school right now. We are fortunate in that we have a medical note that rules out a return to school at present. Many are not so fortunate.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 25 Comments

What could be

I walked past this tree and was thinking about what could be. What still could be.

I was listening to the self absorbed numpty who is frighteningly in charge of our countries schools. He was saying that children needed greater discipline and should work harder to catch up with the targets the Government had set for them. He had just announced that pupils would be banned from having mobile phones in school. They need discipline. Which is interesting as that doesn’t apply to members of the Government. For security and probity reasons Government Ministers are not supposed to use private mobiles and private emails for official business. Well guess what. Apparently they all are breaking the rules and they don’t care. They are above the rules.

Anyway this numpty was waffling on about how pupils should focus on the subjects the Government are pushing. They needed to learn the areas that are selected for them by those above them. Yes they can have options but carefully selected options. Options that are in the interests of economy. It was time focus on the important stuff.

So if Hawklad stays in school from next year he will have to study. English, Maths, Science, Religious Studies, Citizenship. From a really narrow option choice he will also study History, Geography, Design and Computing. Within those subjects the range of areas covered and the sources of learning materials are carefully controlled.

But here’s the thing. If it was Hawklad’s true choice then this is what he would study.

History and history and history and history. He would also study Maths, English Literature, Geography, Archeology, Geology, Animal Husbandry and Zoology. He is keen to pick up those computing skills he needs but on his own terms and at his own pace. Religious studies is something that he believes should be on his terms and not predetermined by someone else.

See there is a difference. An important difference and maybe that difference holds the key to why his country is in such a mess. Why his country is so inward looking and narrow minded. To me that says everything.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 22 Comments

Roses and broken rules

At least the roses are true and can be relied upon…..

One rule for us and one rule for them.

The rules only apply to the people not to those in charge. Everyday this becomes more and more evident. They are found guilty in court and nothing happens. The tax payers pay the fines and they carry on. We don’t count.

During the pandemic we have been told to follow the rules. No questions you must obey the rules and obey the politicians. You will be punished if you don’t.

We were told to stay at home. Think of the greater good. Then a member of the Government drives 300 miles to be with family. Goes on drives to tourist destinations to check his eyesight…. Breaks every rule we are supposed to be following and yet our Leader defends his friend. He was only acting as ‘any parent would act’. According to Johnson the CASE WAS CLOSED. Yet other parents were fined for count far less. Our Leader didn’t rush to defend them….

Now the Government man in charge of health services has been at it. Let’s put aside the incompetence and malpractice which follows this Secretary of State everywhere. This is the man who said social distancing rules had to be obeyed. In his words they were ‘not a request they are an INSTRUCTION’. This is the man who when one of his chief scientific advisers broke the rules he took great delight in forcing him to resign – to do the right thing.

Well guess what. The Secretary of State was breaking the rules at the same time. He has been forced to admit that he was in the wrong when photographic evidence was published. He was breaking the same rules that his scientific advisor was forced to resign for. He was openly ignoring his own instructions. They didn’t apply to him. Yet he won’t resign. Our leader says the CASE IS CLOSED and he has his full support.

One set of rules only for us while our so called leaders make hay. They treat us with contempt. This has to change.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 45 Comments

Broken

A long and winding road if you can find it.

You kind of assume that your country is geared up to support its young people. That they matter. Well they should matter and countries should be geared up. But this is Britain, where support and mental health services have been under funded and in recent times cut back. Britain which has a Government that wants to return to ‘good old Victorian values’. Britain where children are only seen in terms of future economic value. In Britain where support is frowned upon by those in charge. In Britain where children taking time off in the immediate aftermath of a significant bereavement is described by the Government as ‘extended holidays’.

In 2016 Hawklad lost his granny and mum within 6 weeks of each other. A traumatic experience for anyone but for an 8 year old with Aspergers, it’s an emotional maelstrom. But here’s the thing. Sadly he won’t be the only child in this position. But where’s the support. Schools are not set up to cope. In Hawklads case the school cared but where clueless. The specialised education services in the area had been effectively closed down to meet savings targets. I approached his Doctor who just referred to child mental health services. He warned that they had a backlog of cases. That was all the Doctor did. Hawklad was already on the waiting list for Aspergers support.

That was it for over a year. No support. Left up to me, someone who was struggling already. How do you start to help someone when you are broken.

Finally we got to see the Child Mental Health Team. They worked on anxiety issues but no bereavement counselling, no Aspergers support. Luckily his dedicated worker was wonderful and she did try but it was not her area of expertise.

Fast forward to 2021 and Hawklad still has not had any bereavement counselling. Taking a wider view. He had some help with a physiotherapist but that was cut. He started speech therapy but that service was cut. He has had a few months of Aspergers related support but the specialist retired and was not replaced. He has had no dyslexia support. He does get some support for anxiety but that is patchy.

AND he is one of the lucky ones in Britain….

It has to be better than this for all our children. THEY ARE NOT JUST ECONOMIC RESOURCES. It won’t change here under this Government, it will only get worse. BRITAIN is BROKEN when it can’t care for its children.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 25 Comments

Hard work

Apparently I was wrong yesterday. My inner Lefty took hold and clouded my vision. I made an inappropriate attack on politicians who benefit from expensive and exclusive private education while refusing to properly fund pupils in the rest of the education system. I wasn’t the only person to get annoyed at that thought. But we were slapped down by the Eton educated Prime Minister. Children enjoy exclusive education because their parents work hard.

Many do. Can’t argue with that. But then you turn the argument around and what does that mean to a poor child in a poor school. It means that they should blame their parents for not working hard enough……

Clearly I’ve let my son down by not working hard enough…. That explains the gaps in his education.

I should really follow the example of our illustrious leader. Travelling 200 miles in a private jet to attend a summit of world leaders where he says he wants to talk climate change. Clearly getting a readily available and environmentally friendly train is not working hard enough for him. Treating himself to £13000 worth of gourmet food during the lockdown while refusing to give our poorest children free school meals when they need it the most is clearly hard work. Getting a rich friend to pay £200000 for a designer makeover on his flat while cutting 40% of the overseas aid budget is real grafting

Hard work people. That’s all it takes.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 28 Comments

Together

Another day of school at home. Another day of me demonstrating how little I know about Science and French. Surely answering questions like why would the earths magnetic poles switch?, involves more than incoherent mumbling and awkwardly shuffling of my feet.

Je suis un muppet et plutot stupide…..

Maybe those parents doing homeschooling should have some boaster classes. Bring the likes of me up to speed. Deep sigh. Not much chance of that here in England with our current law breaking charlatans in charge. They can’t even look after the pupils correctly.

Our so called Government has announced an extra £50 per pupil to help them catch up and deal with the impacts of COVID education disruption. That disruption has been massive. Apparently £50 is a world beating some that shows commitment to the next generation. The US is giving its students a top up of £1600 per year, Netherlands the funding is £2500.

Our Government would much rather spend money on important stuff like a new Royal Yacht costing £200M. It also comes from a Prime Minister who enjoyed the privileges of a Private Education at one of the worlds most exclusive and expensive schools. In today’s money that cost somewhere near £50000 per year.

Remember we are all in this together….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Views

What a difference a different view of something makes. Even just a few paces. Same pole but seen from the other side, just a few seconds later.

I worry quite a bit about the state of the UK’s school system. I don’t like it’s direction over recent times. A Government increasingly wanting to control what is taught and how it’s taught. Modern day Thought Police….

The last year of our school at home project has really highlighted that to me. Most lessons are about force feeding facts. The pupils are just expected to learn those facts parrot fashion. They are told what to look at, which books to read, which facts to absorb. What to believe and what not to believe. Pupils are expected to fit into a mould. So little scope to develop free thinking. Few chances to take the time to look at subjects from different directions. No scope to develop their own views and interests.

It really shouldn’t be like this. The irony. We live in a so called free society where our children are not free to think for themselves.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Slippery slope?

About 2 years ago I remember worrying about what would happen to my country if we were ever stupid enough to elect a narcissistic sociopath as Prime Minister. Our rules and checks are just not designed for that level of stress testing. They were designed for much different times, with mouth different moral codes.

Then we elected Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

We were clearly that STUPID……

Let’s just watch the freedoms drip away …….

I don’t want to write about this stuff. I really don’t. But every week I end up writing more and more about what is happening to my country…. It just keeps coming.

One of the most respected journalists in our country has wrote the following words…. “No 10 (Johnson) is trying to control the media, everyone in our democracy should be afraid”.

Today a member of Johnson’s Government was talking about museums. He said that the Government had the right to tell Museums what they can and can’t display in their exhibits…..

This is on top of exerting increased control over what schools and colleges can teach and what materials they can select from.

On top of putting friends in charge of the BBC, Johnson is increasingly positioning trusted supporters as heads of once independent watchdogs.

Yes there have been investigations into him and his government but here’s the problem. Most of these independent investigations have rules that mean that they report only to the Prime Minister. And guess what, Johnson has rejected their findings.

Our Government structures were never designed for someone like Johnson. Sadly my fears are playing out in front of my eyes.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Hugs

How do you hug cautiously?

So the great UK coming out of lockdown started today. You can go inside pubs, restaurants, museums, comedy clubs….. You can hug. You can travel. We are on the way back to normal. Everything is good to go.

But then the mixed messages. Hang on our daily COVID cases are stubbornly high, higher than when we first went into lockdown. We have the Indian variant doubling in size every week. We have significant local outbreaks which are having to be managed. Large numbers of the young have not been vaccinated. The long term effectiveness of the vaccines against the variants is still not confirmed.

So we kind of reopen with everyone just making up their own rules. Some will be masked. Some will sometimes wear a mask. And others will refuse to wear a mask. Mixed messages. It’s either completely sorted and no need for any social distancing going forward. Or it’s we need to be cautious and stay safe, we need to keep social distancing. Or it doesn’t really matter whatever we do as we will be back in lockdown soon.

Never has HUGGING been so complicated….

So please feel free to hug anyone you want to as long as you hug cautiously. Cautiously hug doesn’t mean wearing masks but it might be an idea to do so if you are being cautious. Kissing might be ok but only if it’s a cautious kiss.

“Dad did I just hear Johnson tell us to go out and hug people”

Yes he did say that.

“I’m not hugging anyone, not even if that smeg head tells me to…..”

No I didn’t think you would. You haven’t hugged me since you were a toddler. You quickly worked out your preferred way of showing affection for your Dad was to smash him over the head with the nearest toy, book or item of cutlery.

“Dad that’s much more hygienic. I had no idea where you had been….”

Just remember your partly me. My DNA runs through you. Having said that if you are lucky my genes are concentrated in your long eyelashes and your posterior.

“If I get a flabby, hairy bum then I know who to blame and it’s definitely not mum. Anyway I am doing what the government is telling me to do with hugs. I’m hugging cautiously. I’m not hugging anyone…..”

That’s definitely cautious…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Childhood

Do you remember when school holidays meant time off for our kids….

Hawklad and I received emails from school this morning. The emails set out the times of the upcoming year exams. Straight after the half term week holiday. The emails listed all the areas which each pupil are expected to cover in revision. The revision also includes mandatory online tasks that won’t be marked but will be monitored by teachers. All tasks are expected to be completed. The email stressed that they are expecting pupils to undertake significant work levels over the week off…..

To be fair to school they are only following Government guidelines and instructions. The Government has repeatedly spoken of its desire to increase the length of the school day and reduce the number of school holidays. It believes children have too much time off. They have it too easy…..

Parents will have differing views on this. I think you might be able to guess my take on this. I think it’s all BS…… Making pupils work harder and longer is just a smokescreen for covering up the failings of our current school system. Too many trumped up experts getting jobs as politicians, thinking they know best. It shouldn’t be about the quantity of teaching, it should be about the QUALITY of the education.

Ban politicians from education. Let teachers teach… Let Headmaster run the school. Involve the pupils and parents fully. Reverse the trend to test at every level just to populate government performance league tables. We are even testing 5 year olds for pity sake. If the politicians want to do something useful then they should concentrate on finding the resources to help specialists deal with the growing mental health crisis amongst our children.

And above all. Let children enjoy their childhood.