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Uranium jam

This morning I mentioned that school were kinda hoping that parents would help with a homework task of forage jam making. I was not hopeful as basically I am the culinary equivalent of an accident prone Lemming.

But I had missed the obvious. Much wiser friends than me came up with the idea of just substituting some shop bought Jam. That’s a plan we can sign up to. That’s a worry. A couple of years back Hawklad would have been mortified at the thought of breaking the rules. But now not he is not so principled. That is my influence.

So we ransacked the cupboard. Can you believe it. No Jam. Not even any deeply hidden years out of date jars. The nearest thing was jar of Mango Chutney. Needs must. We steamed the label off and we had forage jam…

But we had a problem, the first home label said ‘Mango Jam’. Ok Mango isn’t a fruit you often find foraged in Yorkshire 😂😂😂😂😂 So we now just have Fruit Foraged Jam. Hopefully the colour and the lumpiness of the Jam won’t be questioned.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 21 Comments

Uranium

In Food Technology today Hawklad was set the task to research how wheat is turned into flour. I was expecting this would set him off about the health aspects of bread. Maybe the additives used.

But NO.

His line of attack was – flour mills go through all those stages, make all, that effort, spend all that time. This is on top of the months of hard work performed by Mother Nature. So much effort and then a certain muppet Dad can’t even produce a half edible loaf of bread. What was the point….

Fair comment.

The other task was to forage and with parents help make some Jam. I remember the last time I tried to make Blackberry Jam. Even after two ceiling repaints I can still see the evidence. That Jam stain has a longer half life than Uranium 235. Plus Hawklad hates Jam.

Maybe we might opt out of that one. 😂😂😂😂

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 13 Comments

No

A pleasant walk across the farmers field. It’s good to expand the world beyond the usual constraints.

We were sent a practical science test to try at home. I presume it was just for information. Test requirements included a Bunsen Burner, a Fume Cupboard and various rather explosive chemicals.

Or just maybe the teacher has heard about my baking and just assumed I would have these facilities in the kitchen.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 21 Comments

Satisfaction guaranteed

I was sat blankly gazing at a featureless spreadsheet on my work laptop. It was all numbers, letters, formulas, data ranges and macros. A few changes here and a few changes there. It might balance soon.

Wow

I hate work.

No hang on let’s get that right. I hate this work. I hate accountancy. I hate using spreadsheets and word. I hate putting on a work face and being all professional. I hate hiding my incompetence and acting like I have the faintest idea what I’m supposed to be doing.

I work to pay the bills (well some of them 😂😂). That’s it.

It took me years to work out I was the official Mr Grumpy Work Pants. But actually the signs where always there. Wearing bright ties and waistcoats to try to be cool. Spending much of my life stressed out. Looking on enviously at other people and their jobs. Pilots, Mountain Guides, Astronomers, Health Professionals, Artists, Chefs. Reluctantly setting off for work every day. Only funding a spring in my step on a Friday afternoon as I leave work for a few days.

But it doesn’t have to be like this. We all have dreams and talents. Interests that can be made to work for you. I’ve heard parenting been described as an unpaid job. Well if it is then I love that job. Yes tiring but so rewarding.

I certainly don’t want Hawklad to get stuck in an unrewarding job. You invest too much time to waste that. I want him to live out his dreams. I don’t want him to be me. I want him to avoid the spreadsheets and get to smell the roses.

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Thorns

A rose with thorns. Big ones as well….

Parenting is filled with so many highs but wow does it come with some mightily sharp thorns. One of the peskiest of those thorns being the lack of sleep. As much as you kid yourself, you never seem to catch up with those missed closed eye moments. So far it’s 14 years of sleep deprivation and more to come I suspect.

BUT whisper it. Just like those roses with the thorns. Parenting is so worth the thorns.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 30 Comments

White Rose

For those that don’t know Yorkshire is called the White Rose County.

School is a bit of a strange bizzaro world. A world in which most things are back to front and I’m not just talking about my pants 😂😂😂. An education world where Art invades all the subjects except Art. Where Maths becomes Computing. Computing becomes Comic Strip Studies. Where Citizenship becomes Comic Strip Studies. Where Geography becomes Science. Where Science becomes a million ways to learn about ways to get ill and where History becomes Victorian Criminology. You get the picture….

But what is even more unsettling is where the subjects he has elected to go with next year increasingly forget about Hawklad and where the subjects he is dropping within 4 weeks are given him increasing amounts of attention. Where his marks have gone through the roof in soon to be dumped subjects – 89% in one soon to be ex-subject. And in the subjects he is continuing with he is struggling to get hold of the exam paper to even attempt to try them…

And it all starts again tomorrow.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 39 Comments

Arty fields

Just an average Yorkshire view. With your average Yorkshire fields. But look just a bit more closely.

Has the nice farmer gone creative.

Did he want to bring out his inner artist.

Can you spot the giant bunny rabbit.

Other areas go for these field drawings as well. But Yorkshire does like them. Here’s a better known permanent one which is 20 minutes drive away

These must take so much effort but they certainly bring smiles. So worth it. Certainly made Hawklad and his Dad smile. Maybe I should do one in our garden. A self portrait. The Giant Yorkshire Muppet.

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Conned

Yorkshire. Not Death Valley. Yes Yorkshire.

There was a time when Yorkshire wasn’t so dry 😂😂😂😂😂

There was also a time when shopping was easy. No social distancing, no masks and no empty shelves…..

A number of people at work have been talking about the supermarkets here having far too many empty shelves. Many out of stock items.

For a few weeks after the pandemic first started our shops did suffer from panic buying. Shelves stripped in the madness. Remember the toilet paper mayhem. But then it calmed down. Until now.

This time can I mention that dreaded word here – Brexit. Mountains of crazy new regulations, logistic lines intentionally broken and shortages of key workers now not welcome here by our Government. A number of supermarkets are struggling to get supplies in. Suppliers are struggling so they are having to focus just on a few item lines and drop others. Hence empty shop shelves.

So how did my shopping order go today.

No fresh veg apart from potatoes – out of stock

Apart from apples no fresh fruit – out of stock

No ready meals – out of stock

No soft drinks – out of stock

No fresh fish – out of stock

No fresh pasta – out of stock

No gluten free items – out of stock

Even the tinned and frozen items were frequently substituted with ‘similar’ items. Don’t get me wrong we won’t struggle to eat. Just need to go more processed. I will have to have a very unvaried gluten free diet for the week. Hawklad will live off sausages – no hardship there 😂.

But really is this what the 26.5% of the population who voted to leave the EU really hoped for. If it wasn’t then I’m afraid you we’re conned.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 44 Comments

Logistics

One of those massive Yorkshire rivers. The bridge has collapsed so there are signs up saying the path is closed. Does that mean I’m not allowed to step over the river……

One of the downsides to lockdown is things like opticians and hairdressers have gone out the window. At some stage they do need to start again. Well apart from hairdressers – not much point now 😂😂

Well as the UKs COVID case numbers are rising at an alarming rate again and with those patients requiring ventilation treatment up by 41% in a week, things are opening up again. Time to try and catch up. Made more difficult with Hawklad’s anxieties and with no one to cover for me.

Tomorrow morning I have a pass out granted by Hawklad. Only granted following my second vaccination. So I booked the first dentist appointment of the day. But with cases going up is this maybe my only shot at catching up for quite a while. Can I squeeze in an opticians trip as well….

Here’s tomorrow’s logistical nightmare.

Set Hawklad off with homeschooling. 30 minute drive to the dentists (as homeschooling only goes live at 830am, I will have less than 30 minutes to make the 30 minute drive) arriving for my dental checkup at 9. Then 9.30 it’s the dental hygienist. After the 30 minute appointment I have 15 minutes to make a 5 miles drive (on a busy road) to the car park and then run for 5 minutes to arrive just in time for my Opticians appointment. Hopefully without overheating so I fail the entry temperature test. I then have 30 minutes to fail my eye test and pick out some new glasses. I then have to drive back home, stopping off to fill up for petrol and arrive back at 11.15 to help Hawklad with his Science class which he us struggling with.

What could possibly go wrong 😂😂😂😂

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 31 Comments

Art…..

“Dad what is it about Art. The one subject I can’t do at all. That’s why I’ve dropped it. But it’s everywhere…..”

I know what he means. With his dyspraxia he finds holding a pencil or paint brush difficult. So it wasn’t a surprise when Art was dropped for next year. But here’s the thing. This year there seems to have been a lack of drawing in Art Class. It’s been mainly writing. Which is ok with Hawklad. But Art and drawing gets everywhere. You get to draw more in other subjects than Art….

Over the last few days Hawklad has had to

– draw and paint various product designs in DT,

– draw and paint a room in DT,

– paint a backdrop to a mini stage set in English,

– draw and paint a functional land in English,

– draw various food designs for FT,

– draw a coastal feature in Geography,

– draw and paint French scene in French,

– draw a cartoon strip in Computers,

– draw a tree in RE,

– draw a cartoon strip in Citizenship

– draw an ecologically friendly house in Science

I could go on but you get the picture. And the feedback. ‘Could try to be neater’…..

“The only two subject I don’t have to draw in at present is Art, unbelievably and History. Clearly avoiding drawing should have meant me keeping Art as a subject. And if my favourite subject gets me to draw a castle or the Bayeux Tapestry then I’m officially finished with school…”

Don’t you just love art….