We had a large thunder storm pass over this afternoon. The cat was taking no chances. After the first bang he made his way to his storm bunker.

Unbelievably the early morning cinema screening was very full. The cinema was mobbed. Not seen crowds like that since the ‘Everything for a Pound’ Store had a sale. It’s not a statistical significant sample population but from the early morning hordes I guess that The Avengers movie is going to pull in some astronomical numbers.

And yes it is an astonishing movie.

Yes the crowds unsettled our son but we took our customary place on the front row so no one could be in front of him or to the left of him. It’s so close to the big screen that I come away feeling like I’ve been chewing on magic mushrooms but it works for him.

For 3 hours we both lost ourselves in the Marvel Universe. All our problems and anxieties forgotten. Heroic deeds fill your heart. With even a bit of free grief counselling thrown in by Captain America. But sadly it doesn’t last. You eventually find yourself back in the same place with the same issues.

In fact it feels like we have regressed. Fifteen months ago we eventually secured some anxiety counselling for our son. I say ‘we’ as the fight to get some help started while my partner was still very much with us. It seemed to really benefit him. Progress was starting to be made. But now due to cutbacks that support has dried up. The anxieties are building and it feels like the system has cast him adrift again. We have been lucky really – far too many families get zero help – all they get is patronising comments from politicians who have no interest beyond their off shore bank accounts and rich friends.

So as the thunder rumbles on we try to fight demons. Health anxieties, fear of death, school anxieties, friend anxieties, social anxieties, reading anxieties, fear of being left alone anxieties…..

I’m no psychologist. I’m no health professional. I’m no education specialist. I’m not a grief counsellor. I’m just a parent trying to figure out this increasingly bizarre world with no one to help guide me. Doing the best I can. Deep down this scares me as what chance do I have when I can’t even come close to fixing myself. Queue worried face. 😱

Pleased to report the immediate threat to life and property must have passed as the cat has made his way back to his favourite chair again. That’s one less worry to deal with.

93 thoughts on “Storm Bunker

  1. I’m sorry you are feeling so worried. Must feel so overwhelming for you. We have had quite a week and I am questioning myself on everything as well. I am glad you found some respite in a few hours of movie time. And that the cat is safe (my goodness – look at her eyes! You can see the alertness) and hope you find some peace tonight. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. yes, movies and books work their magic like that. Maybe that’s partly why we visit them. I may see that film. The Lord of the Rings trilogy did it for me during very trying times. I hope you both find shelter from anxieties, a bunker of your own 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am not a parent yet, but what I am learning from the people around me who are parents, and what I have also realised from my parents, is that you do the best with what you’ve got and more often than not, your best will be enough for your child. Because I am also learning that nothing compares to parental love and love will always do what’s right. So, you are OK. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My son won’t let me take him to this movie (even though he is desperate to go) as I would ‘need to watch another 20 movies first to get what was going on’. His dad took him to many of the other Marvel films. I wanted to get him out to see it because due to his anxiety he doesn’t get out as much as I’d like, so I get it.

    My son also had some help which dried up and he got into such a bad way before I started home educating him. I have found time and space and love to be the best healer, the same goes for grief, self love is the most healing of all so please don’t beat yourself up. It is so wrong though that there are these horrendous cuts to the services our children could benefit so much from.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You certainly do the best you can. Your early morning screening reminds me of our Saturday Morning Pictures of the ’40s and ’50s. No telly in the days and we looked forward to the next instalment of such as Kit Carson

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m assuming, since no mention was made here of the 4th member of your family, that Captain Chaos has the cohones to ‘weather’ the Storm?? 😉

    Super-heroes are no scaredy cats – they don’t need no darn bunker, they rush out and bite the lightning! Show it who’s the Boss! (Which, thinking about, it is probably not all that smart an idea!) 😉

    I guess then it’s probably best to fight than hide, but pick which battles you have a reasonable chance of victory in, while saving the really tough ones for when you are more able to handle them.

    Confidence is the natural enemy of Anxiety; building confidence needs to be done from a solid foundation based upon achieving results, one by one.

    Glad the both of you enjoyed the ‘escape’, even if it was for a comparatively short time, at least is was an escape.

    P.S. While the world may be increasingly anxious, and giving us cause to be, giving us less sources of certainty, we are living in a world of unprecedented access to information – on ANY topic under the Sun. You might do simple searches on You-tube or google and find information/videos/how-to’s on any issues the two of you are facing. It truly is amazing what is available. 🙂

    Like

      1. Not totally sure the same applies to Hoo-mans?? The saying just mentions dogs. 😦

        I seem to recall another one about dark clouds and silver linings and another about being darkest before the dawn.

        Both of those are really saying that it comes down to attitude and perception – how we perceive what we ‘see’. Realising we have choices when we might think/feel otherwise.

        We don’t choose what we get, but we can choose how we feel about it and what we do afterward.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. See previous comment about dogs/hoo-mans! 😉

        Alternatively, there are an increasing number of people on this planet born with one set of sex chromosomes who ‘identify’ as having the other set. The next ‘logical’ step is for someone to start ‘identifying’ as a dog… or a cat…. or a Llama… or a Tiger??

        Wanna be a trend-setter?? Or an Irish Setter, maybe?? 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Hmmm, your son sounds like he needs more professional help and so sorry to hear about the cuts to his therapy.

    I don’t have therapy skills but I imagine that you have pets because your son enjoys them.

    What about setting your garden up as a wildlife haven, with insect homes, a water supply (birdbath not a feeder though which may attract too many mice or rats and cause your cat to go crazy hunting them). And hedgehog habitat, etc. Not you though… Why not hand it to your son to save nature his way in his own safe space. His anxieties will turn into responsibilities. You can sit and talk about his activities in the garden each night and that will give him a sense of value. And he can show you all the new things in the garden each weekend.

    Just a thought. You will know if it might work for him.

    I hope you find an answer. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t know if you use Twitter, but there are some people who might inspire your son a bit.

        Dara McAnulty is a 15 year old Autistic naturalist with 15,000 followers
        @NaturalistDara

        Bella Lack
        🌱
        She is 16, with 149,000 followers and writes her own wildlife blog too.
        @BellaLack

        https://www.callfromthewild.com/

        @ChrisGPackham
        Chris Packham, Autistic Naturalist BBC nature broadcaster and founding
        director of https://wildjustice.org.uk/

        Chris tends to try to promote the naturalist work of youngsters.

        And lastly a blog by a young Autistic Sean Locke
        https://seanspetmonster.blogspot.com/?m=1

        Might provide some inspiration. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Your cat reminds me of my 120 pound (54431.08g) dog who is afraid of thunder storms. Yesterday during the storm I was sitting at my desk and when he heard the thunder he decided his safe place was under my desk on top of my feet. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As the world seems to be electing governments that have a tendency to cut back on services to the very people who elected them, I am sitting here scratching my head and wondering why they manage to get elected in the first place. Yes, health care is a huge financial cost, but good governance means good management of tax payers dollars. – including money for health care. Which, in the end, makes for a healthier economy. Yet. in the west at least, monies for mental health seem to be sadly inadequate. I am so sorry to read about the cutbacks that have adversely affected your son’s anxiety counselling. I wish we could all be like your cat and find a safe bunker to weather out the storms of life.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You had a thunderstorm…yesterday turned out nice here in London. The forecast from the beginning of the week said it would be raining Weds til next Tues. But the forecasters seem to have changed their mind and they are suggesting a dry London marathon.

    Does your son like writing? Have you ever considered asking him to do a guest post on your site? I am sure he would be a popular writer 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. lol – I was just being kind about the brown cardis! As soon as you confessed that I had you marked as on the wanted list for the fashion police.

        Dresses and socks…come on! Even in coldest Yorkshire winters I reckon women would avoid that look!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Well…where there are ferrets running round, it would make sense to tuck your dress into your socks. So I will approve this anti-ferret functionality fashion after all.

        Just don’t visit me in London wearing a flat cap, dress and socks…I won’t know you mate!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. One time we were in The train station in Basel and a chap walked through in complete Viking gear waving a 5 ft broadsword. No one seemed to battered an eyelid. In London he would have been tasered within seconds… So my look would be significantly less dangerous.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. You will always have support from your readers Gary.
    As for thunder, it didn’t materialise here, though we had rain and the butt is now full!
    Maggie wasn’t bothered, maybe her lack of hearing is working in her favour.
    Glad you enjoyed the movie.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s