The rose I bought for my partner just before she left us has sprung into life. Wish she was here to see it.

I finally shamed myself into sorting out the garden jungle. Maybe not immaculate but certainly almost passable. Suddenly we have flowers and roses. I had forgotten how many roses we bought before the world changed.

I remember the day we finally got our son’s medical diagnosis signed off. It was a bit of a journey to the Hospital so we stopped off at a garden centre for something to eat. They had an offer on roses and I bought one – think it was the deep red one.

We didn’t know for sure that we would get things signed off. Had so many false dawns. The diagnosis journey had been a nightmare and beyond frustrating. Finally we were lucky and came across a really good Consultant.

He added to our son’s medical record official confirmation of Aspergers, ADHD and DCD. When I asked what the hell DCD was the Consultant smiled and said something like this

“Its the new fad abbreviation and current hip term for Dyspraxia. If it’s OK I’ve used Aspergers rather than Autistic Spectrum. We are supposed to stop using the term Aspergers but not on my watch. I suspect it will always stay as Aspergers on his medical record. If it does change it really won’t have any impact. It’s just Semantics. He is also Dyslexic. In the old days I would have added that to his medical record today but I am not allowed to now. The diagnosis has to come from Education now. Unfortunately that is like getting blood from a stone. It’s a disgrace”

He explained that you can get Dyspraxia on its own but normally it normally coexists with other conditions. Frequently with Aspergers and Dyslexia.

Today he is sometimes listed as having Aspergers and sometimes Autism. Sometimes he has DCD sometimes he has Dyspraxia. At least we have agreement on the wording for ADHD. Whatever the terminology the various strands interlink and makeup who our son is.

Six years later and we are still fighting Education on the Dyslexia diagnosis. That is the one strand which we see as a limiting factor. It holds him back. The good Consultant has retired and our fight goes on.

69 thoughts on “Roses

  1. “Roses! So many Roses.” (as per Homer Simpson after being dragged through a Rose Farm under a bi-plane). 🙂

    I’m officially jealous – they are all beautiful, especially the White one. You have great taste Sir.

    The trouble with all those labels we stick to people is that each one of us understands them differently. It’s the person we need to learn how to understand, not what the label is called , or supposedly ‘means’.

    But society does not really work that way! 😦

    Liked by 2 people

      1. That you could not get a Yorkshire Rose from Yorkshire, while living there, is proof that there is something fundamentally wrong with this current Universe! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You know I say these things and I think I must be coming over as some fancy believer when I’m not. Let’s just say that where I lived before, there was an extra person living in that house as indeed a lot of visitors realised too–as they frequently fled from the place. Kid you not. There are things that happen for which there is no explanation.
        Anyway in addition to that I think small things happen we can’t always explain and of course we can interpret them as we want and need to. And maybe I am interpreting this little story of a plant this way because I want to, because I no longer live in a house like that last one that did make you believe there was something…what I don’t know. But my dad died many years ago and coming up to the time of that, I was thinking about that length of time. I was thinking of how very difficult, if not impossible my sister is and what he would think of how all that is now I have given up on it all, And I thought, I never feel him with me or hear his voice any more and I just wished he could give me a sign he was still with me in some way. So on that anniversary I was actually walking past that last house –before you think I’m a freak, I still run the fag end of a music and drama biz over there and there’s a pupil two doors along, Anyway, the whole of the back yard has been torn to bits and changed beyond recognition, all the plants everything, except for one. That one was the shamrock that Dad gave me like, in 1986 as a houseplant. it never flaming grew so I turfed the lot out for compost on that spot where the flaming plant bloomed like nothing on earth. But if you tried repotting a bit, it wouldn’t take. So when we moved from that house there wasn’t even a chance of taking a bit. And there it was that day growing all round this fancy Acer. Now okay, I can say I am choosing to interpret as I would wanted to. But I do think there’s things that are a bit beyond that. Whether there is or not, take something from that rose in bloom. Even if it’ s just the ability to sort some small things. It is a lovely rose and obvi not that easy to grow either xxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I get this so much. It’s how I think. Never used to think this way. Maybe things happen which switch on parts of our inner selfs and we become more sensitive to these things. Things have happened which yes could be pure coincidences but equally could be ….. Even the most rational scientists say we know less than 1% of everything. That 99% could be the really fun part. I love the sound of a fag end of a biz. xxxxx


      3. Oh god I ran that biz for years. It was non stop and abso crazy at times, thinking back. I don’t know I taught a note of music. I mean come on. One day I as in the supermarket when two of my first pupils came rushing up to tell me how they’d been in big trouble at school for not knowing middle c. (In my defence they were both dyslexic.. or of in my defence anyhows… ). So the teacher had wiped the floor with them, going– ‘But you go to Mrs. So and So, how can you not know middle C?’ And they said, ‘Cos we learn different things there…’ ( I thought…thanks, girls…. ) Anyway when we moved I had well run it down, but there were kids in the middle of exams, kids who were the last of a whole family I’d taught and adults, kids who were in a state that I was moving, so I travelled over for a few years there twice a week. Now with natural wastage it is only for a few hours one night now.
        I was offered businesses here but I thought… quit while you’re ahead, your life is different now. Anyway, reading your comment makes me glad I said what I did. Truly that last house? Eventually and I know I sound nutz here…I had to bring in a medium. She was a real Romany actually, wonderful woman. And all I can say is that what happened at that point, she would have needed a light show rigged in advance. and not a golden light show either. Even with what I saw that day–and it was seriously scary, –even with what we lived with for years, even with what the people before us lived with, even how it all tied together in terms of who this supposed spirit was and their association with the house, I still have trouble thinking there’s anything out there, so I’m not one of these I believe kinds at all. I said to you because I thought of that biz with that shamrock the second I saw the rose and then as I read on I just thought, I have to say.


      4. A friend of mine is a serious climber and also completely tea total. But of a rarity. Anyway he went with his dog winter walking in Scotland and stayed in a remote bothie. He had it to himself. During the night he heard a lot of voices but not speaking English outside the door and his dog started barking (very unusual). He opened the door but the voices stopped and absolutely no sign of tracks in the fresh snow. xx


  2. Beautiful roses. I love roses, especially the big displays in botanical gardens. Did you know they originated in Persia?

    Show this to your doctor… Get a consultant to formally diagnose the dyslexia (goes with all his other symptoms, as you already know). Easy to say… Months to negotiate, but he is worth it to get the help he needs. I so feel for you. Go smell those roses. Cheer you up. 🌹🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so sorry. The system has let you and your son down.
        I am at a loss for words. No wonder you feel low sometimes.😢💔
        Good job you have the roses to care for… Some beauty in your lives. 🌹

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You cleared your garden…. and went on a journey. A few years ago, sensing that the kids were getting a little skippy jumpy, I got my husband to hoe out garden beds for them, one for each. The kids went at it with vigour, planting all sorts of flowers, the eldest went more into veggies.

    By and by, we got them to a discipline of sorts with the watering and weeding. After a time, it became a place they retreated to for some quiet time.

    We all need these places and the stillness that comes with them. We need it when the anger won’t let go, when tears need somewhere to fall, or simply to hide ourselves as we trace with our hearts memory after memory.

    It helps a lot to have lovely blooms like those you’ve got. No matter how wicked the thorns of life may be, there will always be roses to buoy us on with hope.


  4. Blood from a stone trying to get the diagnosis from the education system – that really stinks. But the flowers are beautiful! (I am hopeful this comment goes through – none of mine would yesterday).

    Liked by 1 person

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