Best buddies

Three things from this photo

  • OMG the garden needs some attention (only a little bit in view but it’s a fair representation of the rest)
  • I must take down last years Catherine Wheel Firework
  • Captain Chaos with a couple of his best buddies.

The dog has many buddies. Our fat cat (he particularly likes him when he is covered in food and he becomes a mobile dinner plate). The Frog and the Toad who he desperately tries to lick when they hop across the garden. The Pigeon who he follows round the garden. The Sheep who he likes sniffing. The Squirrel who buries his nuts in our lawn and the dog who goes round digging them up. AND TWO COWS.

The farmer has a herd of cows in the field which backs onto our garden. Something like 30 cows and he will bark at 28 of them. Especially if they come anywhere near our (sorry his) fence. So they tend to keep their distance. But two cows are different. Two are clearly special. He doesn’t bark at them, just wags his tail furiously. When the cows see the dog they immediately head towards the fence and meet the crazy mutt. Then the meeting of species gets a tad personal. Nose to nose, looking into eyes and much licking. I’m not sure who has got the worse of this arrangement. Not sure I fancy being licked by a cow but I’m not sure a crazed Captain Chaos lick attack is much fun either. This lasts for about 5 minutes then they slowly walk along the fence munching on grass. This can go on for hours – it’s the only time the dog does anything slowly. Yes our dog pretends to be a cow.

Have any of your pets had strange buddies?

Tell me why

In my voice – Tell me why

  • My partner was taken from us when she was so young.
  • The system continually fails our son.
  • The Government can find billions to bribe other parties to keep it in power but can’t find the money to fund education support for the kids who need it.
  • I don’t sleep anymore.
  • They say the world is getting smaller yet I feel so isolated.
  • Chocolate has so many blooming calories.
  • Hair doesn’t like growing on my head yet it sprouts like an Amazonian Forest on the back of the my hands.
  • The cat continually finds a way into the wardrobe.
  • I can’t find any socks in this house.
  • They never made a Captain Scarlet movie.

In our son’s voice – Tell me why

  • My mum had to die.
  • Both my grannies had to die.
  • My hamster had to die.
  • My girl cat who was like a sister to me had to die.
  • I can’t read.
  • Some people think I am stupid just because I am autistic and dyslexic.
  • Shops have to be so busy.
  • Hazard is leaving Chelsea.
  • Do people have to kiss in films.
  • Marvel Movies are way better than DC Movies.
  • Most kids don’t like rock music.
  • Broccoli wasn’t deemed an inedible plant.
  • My Dad can’t cook.
  • In our dogs voice – Tell me why
    • I get shouted at for pinching socks.
      I get shouted at for digging holes.
      I get shouted at for eating garden tools.
      I get shouted at for eating garden furniture,
      I get shouted at for digging up plants.
      I get shouted at for burying stuff like socks.
      I get shouted at for pulling bits of the apple tree off.
      I get shouted at for escaping.
      I get shouted at for climbing in the hedge.
      I get shouted at for eating cat poo, cow poo, sheep poo.
      I get shouted at for pinching food.
      My best friend isn’t with us anymore. I know I am a dog but she was a really cool cat.

    In our boy cats voice – Tell me why

    • My sister isn’t with us anymore.

    • My best friend, the really lovely woman has gone. I miss siting on her lap.
    • I get shouted at for missing the cat litter by several feet.
    • I get really shouted at for missing the litter by so many feet I hit the wall.
    • I get shouted at for sitting in front of the TV when a movie is on.
    • I get shouted at for sneaking into the wardrobe and getting white hairs on all the black clothes.
    • I get shouted at for falling in hot plates of food.
    • I get shouted at for always tripping people up.
    • I get shouted at for sleeping on the laptop.
    • I get shouted at for sleeping on the toaster.

    In our gerbils voice – Tell me why

    • We don’t live in a toilet roll factory.

    Get on your back..

    It’s been a ‘on your back’ sort of day.

    Not just for the pets.

    First we played football in the garden. Son wasn’t keen on using his boots so I dug out mine as well. As a I put my boots on I warned son that they would be hard to walk with on the pavement. He was fine but I perfectly demonstrated the point by going ‘arse over tit’.

    About an hour later I was again on my back. This time I made the mistake of trying to walk on our bathroom floor with just socks on. Sheet ice is easier to walk on.

    While I was on my back I spotted a sheet of paper under a sideboard. It was a photocopy of a checklist school had given us years ago. A checklist about Aspergers. Son was keen to see how he compared to the bullet points.

    Social interaction
    Children with Asperger’s disorder might:

    • start interactions with others but have difficulty keeping a conversation going – rarely now
    • interact with people if they need something or want to talk about something that interests them, but not because they’re genuinely interested in other people – never
    • interact in an awkward and stilted way – for example, they might avoid eye contact while speaking or interpret things literally – sometimes
    • interact more easily with adults than with children – rarely now
    • not show emotion or empathy. – rarely

    Communication and language
    Children with Asperger’s disorder might:

    • be very verbal – for example, they might label everything in a room – sometimes
    • join words together at the usual developmental stage (around two years) – sometimes
    • communicate with others about their own interests –sometimes
    • use a flat or monotone voice – rarely now
    • answer questions, but not ask questions if the topic doesn’t interest them. – sometimes

    Repetitive or persistent behaviours
    Children with Asperger’s disorder might:

    • have restricted or obsessive interests that make them seem like ‘walking encyclopaedias’ about particular topics – definitely BUT his range of interests is much wider than mine.
    • prefer routines and rules – 100% Definitely
    • not respond well to change. – 100% Definitely

    As you can see the checklist was a bit mixed in comparison to our son. All kids (and adults) are different with their own specific traits. And these traits change over time. Also it is common that Aspergers will not just be the only diagnosis – frequently it interacts with other medical and psychological conditions. I’ve not seen a checklist yet which completely ties in with our son. Probably never will.

    Maybe one day we will have a go at a specific one for our son. One that takes account of Aspergers, Dyslexia, ADHD, Dyspraxia. But not today – back and buttocks are too bruised for that. But off the top of my head (or from the centre of my bruised posterior) maybe the above checklist could have added:

    • Clumsy
    • Takes language literally
    • Likes lining items up in straight lines
    • Struggles socially when ‘new faces’ are in the room
    • Can be socially anxious
    • Flapping hands
    • Poor fine motor skills
    • Difficulty understanding the concept of time
    • Can become distressed in locations with excessive sensory levels. Noise, bright colours, wall patterns
    • When sensory overload is encountered can go into meltdown

    I will leave it at that. Let’s not assume all people with Autism and Aspergers are the same with identical traits. It’s not just stereotyping round Rainman. Equally it’s not just about stereotyping around being geniuses like Einstein. Everyone is unique.

    Now it’s time to lie down on my front and rest my battered back…

    Cat and stress?

    The Boy Cat is happy. Getting his tummy tickled. Apart from eating and sleeping, that is his favourite thing. It provides such a great stress release for the human.

    THEN

    You find out that the cat has been lying on your Black T-shirt. White cat hair is not a great look on black….

    The cat – a stress reliever and stress provider….

    Looks don’t tell the full story.

    The boy cat has six talents:

    • Getting stuck up trees, wardrobes, roofs …..,
    • Eating,
    • Opening Doors,
    • Missing his litter tray – halfway up the wall is his latest favourite,
    • Tripping people up,
    • Sleeping.

    I don’t know who he is so good at sleeping. Nothing wakes him. This photo might suggest a scene of tranquility and quiet. No. Only two yards away the mad dog is going ballistic. Currently barking at 110dB as he tries to get the attention of his friends the sheep. I wish I could sleep like that.

    Face of evil

    This is the face of evil. An entity so without remorse. So utterly malevolent that even the likes of Thanos and Professor Moriaty won’t mess with her. Her name Daisy…

    This weeks role call of shame:

    • Pulled not one but two sets of curtains down,
    • Ripped to shreds the floor mop,
    • Smashed a picture frame after she decided to would be kinda fun to whack it with her paw,
    • Somehow managed to delete an important file when she decided to sit on my computer keyboard,
    • Twice scoffed all the dogs food,
    • Sat on the boy cats food bowl so he couldn’t get to his food,
    • Used a sofa cushion as a scratching pole,
    • Used the corner of the sofa as a scratching pole,
    • Completely decimated the dogs favourite cuddly teddy bear,
    • Bit the head off one of our son’s favourite wrestling figures,
    • Somehow gained access to my wardrobe and covered all my black clothes with white hairs,
    • Chewed the corner off a £5 note,
    • Knocked a full bowl of porridge onto the carpet,
    • Deliberately pushed the boy cat into the toilet as the poor cat was sat on the edge having a closer inspection (wish I had captured the moment, it was both vindictive and truly funny at the same time).

    All these evil doings while giving me that “what are you going to do about – do I care” look…..

    Truly an apex predator.

    Cat Stew

    Sometimes wonderful views take your breath away. This was taken on our last holiday. While my partner and son slept I would sneak out for an early morning run. The run would take me along a path which ran along the edge of Lake Thun. It was just stunning.

    Sometimes it’s other things that take your breath away.

    Last night I had made a stew. I left my steaming plate of food on the kitchen table while I delivered our son his stew and 2 tons of tomato ketchup. Crash. On my return to the kitchen I had an out of body experience. We have a very accident prone boy cat. Yes you have guessed it. He was lying in my stew. Waiter there appears to be a cat in my food. He was covered in gravy and vegetables completely oblivious to the world. He seemed most puzzled when I pushed him onto the floor. He was even more puzzled and slightly terrified as the dog decided to feast on the four legged plate. My option b meal, a cuppa soup was far less appetising.

    I’m still finding bits of stew strewn around the house.

    Usually the dog won’t have anything to do with the boy cat. His bestie is the girl cat. However today it’s a different story. Now he’s discovered the boy cats talent as a mobile dinner plate. He is hopefully following him around trying to be friends. Let’s hope the boy cat has learnt his lesson as tonight it’s a curry.

    World War petZ

    All hell broke out today. Sat with a hot drink trying to convince the laptop that the Excel Macro I had just produced was in fact perfect and not full of errors WHEN

    The two cats and dog started scampering around the house like crazed banshees. Chairs crashing into walls, photos knocked off tables, books sent flying. I found the Living Room in a state of destruction as if World War Z had broken out. Three pets clawing and scratching at the bottom of a large sideboard. Oh bugger have we got a visitor and it’s the hunt. Annoyingly the sideboard had a small gap at the bottom big enough for a hiding space but too small to squeeze my hand into. Wonderful going to have to move that 8 tonne chunk of wood. Have to try and rescue the trapped creature.

    Could it be a scary House Mouse

    Could it be a deadly little shrew

    OR is it

    one of these little plastic Dalek (Dr Who) megalomaniacs.

    Yes after breaking my back, trapping my fingers and squashing my toes – the sideboard was finally moved to reveal a DALEK. Yes the little darlings had been having a fantastic time warping adventure game. The pets excitedly claimed the prize and continued the game in another room. Well that was 2 hours well spent. Unfortunately now the 8 tonnes of wood have to moved back and the pets can’t help because they are too busy saving the earth from a Dalek invasion. Deep Joy!!!!!!