Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 53 Comments

Cut adrift.

The end of the school half term. To sum up the last 7 weeks of school at home –

The support is rapidly drying up.

More lessons passing without much support for Hawklad. His work isn’t getting marked in most cases. Increasingly we are having to decide on the areas studied. Whether they are in line with what his class are covering, we have largely no idea. The year exams start as soon as the school returns from the week off. We still don’t know the arrangements for Hawklad. We don’t even know the detailed exam timetable.

Definitely feels like we are getting cut adrift. The support we battled to get for him a few years back has largely been removed due to wider commission decisions, not on individual case circumstances. He’s supposed to see a paediatrician every 6 months but due to cut backs in service and a pandemic, it’s now been over 3 years since his last review. The local council keep putting off his annual education review, again the last one was nearly 3 years ago. School do not provide any additional in class support p.

Maybe it’s partly single parenting and sometimes I get to feel really isolated – but it certainly feels like our family is being cut adrift. Sadly that’s what happens with the vast majority of Autistic and Asperger teenagers. Cut adrift.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 57 Comments

Cows

Captain Chaos has his friends back. Every summer they return to the field behind our house. Yes summer…….

It’s the same ritual. This off the Cap plays it cool. Even when the cows lean over the garden fence. He ignores them. Plays it hard to get get. But after a couple of days it all changes. Suddenly he stops being coy. Then it’s time to get close and personal with his buddies.

Ok in weather terms, summer hasn’t arrived. But in terms of a mad dog, it’s definitely summer.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 34 Comments

Feedback

When I first moved into the village all those years ago I remember going for a walk. No map, no real idea where I was heading. Just went to explore the new locality. Near the farm track in the photo is a path. On that first walk I followed that path. It looked like it was going to take me in roughly the right direction. But with no map I couldn’t check. Guess what. It went in the wrong direction. I got lost and it took me hours to get back home.

Hawklad has been submitting homework studiously all school year. He’s hardly had any marks or feedback returned. He’s been asking me to check his work as he just wasn’t sure how he was doing.

This morning out of the blue he received a very brief teacher comment about a piece of work submitted last week. The first feedback from this teacher in over a year. The comment simply said ‘Spot on’….

Here’s the problem. I had checked that work and it was good but it had mistakes. Some big mistakes. I had sat down with Hawklad to show him where he was right and where he was not so right. We talked through ways to answer those areas better. That’s feedback. I’m sorry but ‘Spot on’ doesn’t help Hawklad. He could end up going into exams doing some things the wrong way. Yes provide praise and reassurance but please also give tips to improve…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 43 Comments

Next day

It’s been a wet old day here in Yorkshire. Grim.

One of those days. A day that was an effort. Nothing seemingly would go to plan. Felt like my face was filled with grimaces rather than smiles. Everything just seemed out of kilter. Hard work. A slog. One step forward, two back.

But I’m still here. Made it through the day. Just about in one piece. And you know what. My dreams are still intact. Let’s see what the next day brings.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Views

What a difference a different view of something makes. Even just a few paces. Same pole but seen from the other side, just a few seconds later.

I worry quite a bit about the state of the UK’s school system. I don’t like it’s direction over recent times. A Government increasingly wanting to control what is taught and how it’s taught. Modern day Thought Police….

The last year of our school at home project has really highlighted that to me. Most lessons are about force feeding facts. The pupils are just expected to learn those facts parrot fashion. They are told what to look at, which books to read, which facts to absorb. What to believe and what not to believe. Pupils are expected to fit into a mould. So little scope to develop free thinking. Few chances to take the time to look at subjects from different directions. No scope to develop their own views and interests.

It really shouldn’t be like this. The irony. We live in a so called free society where our children are not free to think for themselves.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Moody

Moody Yorkshire….

Feels like a landscape from say Wuthering Heights, or Jane Eyre, or Nicholas Nickleby, or the Secret Garden. All novels set in Yorkshire. Move 40 miles and it could be the opening to Bram Stokers Dracula.

Yes Yorkshire clearly can do Moody and Menacing. Maybe that’s why they filmed Garfield 2 just a few miles from here. 😂😂😂😂

For over a year our world constricted. It was a small bungalow, a garden, and a big sky. Very hemmed in. But now Hawklad is trying to take his first steps back into the wider world again. This means a few walks around the village and along the country lanes. Just a few steps and the views change. That makes such a difference. The world just feels like it’s got a whole lot bigger.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 50 Comments

Nothing

It’s nearly 1pm. I need to pinch myself. Is it really a school day. School at home day. So far absolutely nothing from school this week. No lesson material, no assigned work, no idea what the class is doing. Nothing. That’s three blank lessons so far.

It’s been that quiet we even checked to make sure we hadn’t got the dates wrong and school is on holiday. But no, it’s a full school day.

“What shall I do Dad then….”

Well as we have no idea what his class was doing. No idea even what subjects the class was looking at. It’s a blank sheet of paper. A good chance for Hawklad to set the agenda. Take control of what he learns. So I said what any self respecting Dad would say.

Well Son you can go and wash my car……

“No Dad. What school work shall I do.”

What one subject do you most want to learn about.

“History, definitely history. Second World War.”

Ok spend the morning indulging yourself in the that. And when you finish. You can get off your backside, go outside and clean my car 😂😂😂

***********

And that’s what he did. He studied the Nuremberg War Trials. He so far hasn’t got round to cleaning my car. But here’s the problem. He’s taller than me so I can’t really put my foot down anymore. I might just have to do that job myself.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 65 Comments

Night

It’s 1am and I’m not tired. I should be but I’m not. No point going to bed yet.

Can’t be bothered to watch TV. More to life than some random movie or Pointless bathroom renovation show, although my bathroom could do with a lick of paint but not at 1am.

Reading. No. Can’t concentrate. End up having to read the same page several times.

Music. Too late for German Death Metal so it would have to be Cohen or Pink Floyd. Don’t fancy listening to such up tempo music tonight….

Jigsaw. Just No

Check on the school at home schedule. But the prospect of checking on school when it starts in less than 8 hours and sleep has not yet started is very depressing.

Eat. I’m on a diet.

Meditate. This is not the time for a juicy hip extension. Is there ever a time for that.

Do some Astronomy. Come on, this is Yorkshire. It’s chucking it down.

It’s clear what I need to do. Make a herbal tea and day dream. Day dream until hopefully they turn into real Night Dreams.

That’s a plan.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 45 Comments

Tubular Bells

Time marching on sometimes takes my breath away. The helpful iPad flashes up a message each day telling me what happened this week in years gone by.

Today it informed me that in this week Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield was released. Released in 1973……

1973 for pity sake. I can vaguely remember my older brother playing this on his hifi. Has it been out that long….. But here’s the thing. I like listening to the music but I’ve never owned it. Always had to listen to it on the radio or when others have played it.

Maybe when our own personal lockdown eases I will venture out into the second hand stores. The charity shops to see if I can find an original copy. Own it for the first time. That would be nice. Would feel kind of right.

In life some things seem just right. Very occasionally perfect. Those things give me direction. Give me hope. They always make me smile.