Not a great time to have hay fever. A dog with hay fever. He sneezes and sneezes. Wow does he get some distance…… I’ve said it before, imagine being slimed just like Peter Venkman was in Ghostbusters. All done with a wagging tail. He’s having fun with it.
But it has messed up his taste sensation. That’s what his Vet has said. So he only eats warm food now. Only eats it outside. Whatever the weather, outside. Only eats if one of us sits next to him. As the Vet says, he is a complex Chap (that’s Captain Chaos not the Vet). No wonder you don’t get many Cocker Spaniel, German Spitz crosses. In this case, definitely an accident in a park.
He was brought into the family to bring back the feeling of life and fun. He has definitely, definitely done that.
Yesterday the mad dog got a bit of blogging attention, well today his partner in crime is getting the spotlight. It’s big fat cat time.
Shame he’s a bit shy….
Or is it just sign that it’s such a hard life being a big fat cat.
Here’s the thing. I feel like copying the cat sometimes. Well not that thing he does when he’s bent double…. But definitely this covering the eyes truck. Definitely feeling tired and worn down. Parenting doesn’t really give you many breaks. Single parenting since 2016, no meaningful breaks really. No holidays. No letting what’s left of my hair down. Throw a pandemic in and each day seems to be very similar to last one. Spooky that it was Groundhog Day this week, apparently the little hog chap farted which means it’s another 6 weeks of eating Lasagna or something like that. You get the picture.
This feeling will pass. I’ve had these spells before. A better nights sleep will help. Maybe a shed load of caffeine and chocolate will do the trick. Mum would get me to play some sad music as a pick me up, so where is my Pink Floyd – Final Cut album (wow that’s a cheerful thing) or even darker, The Best of Alvin and the Chipmunks. But until I get my mojo back, maybe that soft, big pudding of a cat has a point, at least for one night.
Somedays are more tiring than others. Some days are more stressful than others. Somedays the serious words don’t come. Somedays it’s best just be silly.
It’s been too long. Actually I can hear shouts of ‘not long enough’. But here goes. It’s Terrible Poetry time. The Bad Bard is back. All thanks to Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry contest.
Topic: The family pet, written Golden Shovel Style. Here are the rules for the Golden Shovel: Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire. Use each word in the line (or lines) as an end word in your poem. Keep the end words in order. Give credit to the poet who originally wrote the line (or lines). The new poem does not have to be about the same subject as the poem that offers the end words.
The Length is up to you.
As far as I can tell, Rhyming is up to you, too.
Whatever, man, just make it terrible!Dredge up Fido’s memories and remains through the worst eulogy printed on Purina Puppy Chow. Set the still-living Princess Catarina howling in indignance. Send Horace the hamster spinning with rage.
Let’s keep the Rating: PG or cleaner. How risqué do your animals get?
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Thursday (February 3) to submit a poem to Chelsea.
So which classic poem shall we go for. Something poetic, something beautiful, something deep, something philosophical. Let’s go for a classic opening line that ticks all those boxes. Maybe Shakespeare, maybe Blake, maybe Wordsworth. Or maybe Philip Larkin, maybe his classic ‘This be the verse’ with its uplifting first line…..
‘They F**k you up, your mum and dad’
That’s me kicked out before I even start…..
So let’s use those poetic word gems do type an ode to Captain Chaos. Let’s make it Terrible.
His best buddy is a seriously fat cat, it’s far too quiet, where are THEY
They have just pulled the curtain off the wall, what the F**K
Now it’s on the floor, covered in hairs, well Thank YOU
Captain now thinks it’s great fun to try to hump the cat, that’s seriously messed UP
Even The Cap knows you can’t end a sentence with a possessive determiner like YOUR
But he is a clever dog with a great pedigree, a beautiful white Spitz is his MUM
He gets his intelligence, looks, fluffy hair and cunning from her AND
being a right ruffian, rogue, rascal and rampantly randy from his Cocker Spaniel DAD
Virtually every day for over two decades I have looked at this landscape. Looked at that tree, stood alone in the next farmers field. The occasional trip away, the all too infrequent Swiss day broke those years up. But definitely for 6 years, every day I have looked upon that view.
After my partner died, I couldn’t contemplate making changes to the house. It just didn’t seem right. Then a few hesitant steps. Clothes, shoes, handbags and some books taken to a charity shop. But her cd’s are still sat, untouched, in the same place. Her ornament largely in the same locations. But now the mindset is changing. Time for change if Hawklad is ready.
A start will be my partners cd’s. A quick scan revealing a taste for 80’s pop and dance music. They are never going to get played in this metal and rock house. Music is such a waste of its not played. Time to move them on to a better home. Ok I might keep the Dido cd…..
I’m looking at a sofa that is over 20 years old. Cats, a mad climbing dog, food and drink spills, my enormous backside has taken its toll on the poor thing now. It’s really time for a change. Well kind of. Hawklad would appreciate some more comfort but is kinda attached. So we have plan b. But a new sofa, finally change the living room look. But the old sofa can find its way into the conservatory.
That’s still change.
Life has moved on.
I’m not stood by that permanently closed door anymore.
The sheep are back. Must be time to dig out my old Pink Floyd – Animals LP.
The return of the sheep always makes me smile.
Memories.
A much younger Hawklad carefully feeding the sheep. Following the instructions from the farmer on which sheep liked which biscuits.
And yes that’s a puppy Captain Chaos.
Sometimes that wooden fence wasn’t keeping those sheep from those biscuits.
Sheep.
Then there was the first night in our home. My partner was watching the newly unpacked TV and I had come out into the crisp night air to look at the stars. Wow no light pollution here. No street lighting. Pitch black. So many stars. Then suddenly that sinking feeling.
I AM NOT ALONE…..
Somewhere near the fence dozens of eyes fixed on their prey. Me. I took it like a man. Screamed and ran inside, the door bolted behind me. As a modicum of courage returned, I tentatively ventured outside again with a torch and Slazenger cricket bat. I found dozens of sheep stood at the fence, all eyeballing me. Clearly saying ‘Where’s the biscuits..’ That was definitely the SHEEP OF THINGS TO COME. But I guess it was ALL’S WOOL THAT ENDS WOOL. I will shut up now. Don’tto RAM THE POINT HOME, I wouldn’t do that to EWE.
The first signs of the next storm heading our way. Cold, wet, bleak and punishingly windy. Not a day to be outside. Problem is when I’m stuck inside, that feeling of being hemmed in just gets ramped up even more. Never suffered from claustrophobia but I have done since the world changed back in 2016.
Over those 5 years I’ve learnt that the best strategy is DISTRACTION. Focus on homeschooling. Housework, more housework, even washing the windows. Wow washing the windows. Kinda worked. But they don’t work as well as some four legged distractions.
I have a new movie franchise.
It’s the action movie this time of year has been waiting for since Die Hard. Fearsome beasts meet the festive holidays.
Too dark inside and out for the old iPhone camera, it did its best…..
Rain, rain, rain with some added rain today.
Roads starting to become streams.
After a super wet walk it’s time for most definitely indoor exercise. Time for yoga. But as I have shown you before indoor, yoga, a yoga mat and a big boy cat don’t really go well together.
First of all, how can one cat take up the whole mat. Second how am I supposed to perform any sort of balletic move with that fella between my legs…..
But today that feline apex predator was distracted. His focus drifted from the ‘funny chubby chap who feeds me’ to the yoga instructor on the iPad. That was it, he was hooked. I think the boy cat likes Adriene. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
How am I supposed to exercise with this lump under my feet wanting his tummy tickled. How can one cat take up half of a yoga mat. Scarily that is supposed to be an apex predator. Definitely the heaviest cat in the vets practice and he is proud of it . I guess the only danger he poses to the local rodent population would be if he accidentally sat on them.
They always say eventually owners start looking like their pets.
I’m there already, well it definitely feels that way today.
Hawklad was feeling anxious. Really anxious. This time next week will be tough for him. It will be a tough call. Classroom or Home….
Sometimes it can feel very isolating just the two of us kinda cut off from the real world. Maybe there is a danger we take root.
So he needed a distraction. Something different. It was time to go hunting in the garage. What can I find. Imagine a place like the shop that Harry Potter got his wand from. Dark, cramped, filled to the brim with things that haven’t seen the light of day in years. Maybe decades. Some objects beyond rational comprehension.
As I rummaged deeper into the recesses my plight became more perilous. I stretched, bent and shakily balanced over box after box. Deeper I went into the precarious jungle of old toys and objects. Then I saw a very large old wooden box. It might as well have been an old precious wand. That will do nicely.
An old garden croquet set that came from his grannies house several years ago.
Yes it was fun. Definitely different. Some of the rules might have been loosely applied or invented. When did croquet become a contact sport. The long grass didn’t help. But the main thing is Hawklad was distracted.
Now was the time to get serious about this martial art called croquet. I got the lawnmower out and carefully cut out a croquet course. Incorporating obstacles. A Mole Hill. An Apple Tree. The Football Goal. Yorkshire Wet Grass.
Captain Chaos was a moving obstacle and introduced his own version of mayhem. Suddenly we have one of Europe’s Finest and Most Challenging Croquet Experiences.
Captain Chaos might be on to something. Croquet with a sock…..Yes Croquet is fun. And fun is needed some days…..
We would love you to still take part in the Great Bloggers Bake Off Festival of Love. Please send your baking photos and baking ideas into:
CRUSHEDCARAMEL@GMAIL.COM
Already Mel has received so many fantastic submissions and the occasional disaster 😂😂😂😂.
Ok time for Sunday Blogger Bake Off Entry . A heart shaped Carrot Cake. First problem… No carrots…. I foolishly used them all up while making Sunday Lunch. The garden ones are out of bounds as Captain Chaos has been wee’ing on them. I’m not driving today so just have to make do again. But no viable alternatives. No pumpkin, no zucchini, no pineapple, no coconut. Then the madness set in. Carrot is ORANGE. Cheese is also Orange and can be shredded. Lactose free cheese was added…..
So now it’s a heart shaped cheese cake.
Then the shaping issues. The carefully moulded HEART shaped cake fell to bits.
So I give you a bit of a disaster cake. Presentation needs a bit of refinement. The actual cheese tasting cheese cake is interesting. Think sweet spice. Think cheddar cheese. It kinda works. But do I serve it with custard or with butter.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 