I realised that it’s been a while since I mentioned grief. If I’m not careful I will need to change the name of the blog. Maybe it’s time to find something with ‘muppet’ or ‘most excellent baker’ as a new badge to work under. The possibilities are endless when you think about it. So many things to go for

Baking disasters

Parenting mishaps

Homeschooling meltdowns

Single parenting

Mental health

Trying to navigate the Asperger Parenting open waters

Yoga injuries

Truly shocking poetry

Badly behaved pets

Badly behaved wildlife

Village high jinks

Yorkshire tourism

The wonders of Switzerland

Hide behind the sofa politics

Bachelor life!!!!!

How many photos I can squeeze out of one back garden view

Fashion tips


Maybe not accountancy…. Definitely not that. I would actually rather listen to a U2 album than read about that subject. But maybe there is a key message here. Apart from I’ve actually found something I hate more than Bono singing. If you had asked me back in 2016 and 2017 to make a list then it would have been very short. Grief, single parenting and Aspergers. Bereavement and loss seems to rob you of your life. Your gaze drops to your feet, just can’t lift your head up. Walls begin to surround you. But with time, in your own time, things do improve. You can lift your head up again. You start to want the walls to come down again. Yes maybe Bereavedsingledad doesn’t quite fit anymore.

70 thoughts on “Time to bring the walls down

  1. I hope I am Over Soil for as long as possible, but some day… Plus, I’m so into soil health too. You know you could abbreviate that to BABASP. Actually that made me {{{giggle}}} “Babasp” {{{GIGGLE}}} just a thought.

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  2. There was an utterly beautiful rainbow in the northern skies here late yesterday, a rainbow different to what I’ve seen before. It seemed to be illuminated by a light from within it, lending it a special luminosity.

    Gazing up at it, I thought of the word hope. Reading your words here, I see hope come alive once more.

    And sending heaps of hope to America tonight too.

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  3. there is a reason the tradition of wearing black and/or isolating after a death had an expected time limit. Although various cultures and eras have various time frames prescribed, it is well known by even tribal elders that there comes a time when one must shed the dark garb and try on a few new clothes. Of course this will vary with each individual and i am certainly no expert. But , as i am sure you have heard more than once- YOU are still alive. And you were gifted with more time by the universe for whatever reason. It sounds to me like you have spent your time wisely so far and not simply withered on the vine, frittering away this gift as many fall into. So, at your leisure and confidence, no reason to feel as if you must remain stuck in grief a moment longer than you see fit..big hugs and namaste!

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  4. It’s something I’ve thought of for my own blog – even though my title is not as direct as yours.

    You change whatever feels right and whatever reflects where you are.

    But whetevr you do please keep writing and posting, for yourself but also for those of us who are comforted by your journey 🖤🖤

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  5. I’m thinking of Pink Floyd… “Tearn down the wall! Tear down the wall!”😆

    Grief will always be a part of you. It’s just not ALL of you anymore, and IMO, that’s a good thing! Our loves who leave would want us to live on and find happiness and joy!

    I’ve already told my girls if they wallow in sadness, I’m going to haunt them and cause problems at awkward moments😉😂😂

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  6. The wall didn’t come down, you climbed over it and perceived a new view. This made me so glad. Thank you. You have turned your painful losses into something beautiful and I feel honored to have experienced a small piece of it.

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  7. 👏👏 yay!!!

    I got to a point where I couldn’t cry anymore and I didn’t want to miss life – I totally love life ❤️

    I will never forget and always love and miss … but I have a life to live too 😘✌️ and I love that life I was given and what it has to offer to me ❤️ good and bad

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  8. bakingdisasters!!

    You’ll get there. It took me 4 plus years but I’ve found someone I can actually say I love you to. Don’t think that didn’t wrench my heart and I struggled. But it’s all OK.

    You know they would never be selfish enough to want us to grieve forever. Sending you love and hugs.


  9. Isn’t it funny how that happens? I’m happy for you. And any one of your ideas for an alternate title would work just fine (in my humble opinion). I know this isn’t the same, but after my mother died it took a few years before I stopped automatically thinking to call her to share something.


  10. For many many years I intended to paint “Loser Theater” over the entrance to my house.

    Leendadll was my “social name” for over 20yrs. I’m not that person anymore, now going by Bubbles (sometimes for perkiness, sometimes for irony) but don’t want to change my blog ID (a LOT of people only know me as Leenda).

    Whatever you decide, we will follow!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Bono singing! Hahaha! Cat Daddy also has a special hatred for U2, since the time they gave away a free album on iTunes but added it to your account whether you wanted it or not. Then, when Cat Daddy deleted the album, it also deleted his whole iTunes catalogue. 🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I think a lot of times people start a blog for a specific reason, wanting to connect with a certain audience, but inevitably we evolve as our journey progresses. As long as you view your evolution as progress I think readers will want to walk with you and hear what you have so say regardless of what you call yourself. It connection that people follow, not names or labels…don’t you think?💕

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  13. Grief is a funny thing . You can go mins then moments then days . weeks even months and then it hits you. Throws you off your feet and you get through it and then it happens again but it’s even a bit longer when it comes back . There is no time on grief. I can understand contemplating your blog name . I’ve thought about it after my kids grew up . And winds of change didn’t really seem to be where my writing was going. Then as life is my life changed again. And it fits again. So I’m stuck with it for now. You will know when and should to change it❤️

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