Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 57 Comments

MUD

Some more rain on the way.

You can never have enough MUD.

Those of a certain age like me think ‘Tiger Feet’ when MUD is mentioned.

Apparently our area is still under a DROUGHT order and we are banned from using hosepipes. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

How is it possible to lose stuff in a small bungalow. Only so many places to look and still things go missing. Maybe one day I might stumble across a goldmine of lost treasures. This time I was looking for some of mum’s cds. Now that would be a musical goldmine. Sinatra, Martin, Cash, Crosby, Davis Jnr. Where had I stored them in this small bungalow back in 2016. Absolutely no sign of them but I did come across my partners cd’s, quietly collecting dust in one hardly visited corner of this little old building. More music untouched since 2016.

Back 6 years ago those cd’s were far too painful to touch. Today I thumbed through them, without pain.

TIME heals.

With TIME things can change.

Going through these cd’s one thought kept crossing my mind. Wow she had some appalling tastes in music, well at least to an old headbanger like me. Yes there where one or two gems but wow, so much nameless dance club music. I had forgotten just how little our musical likes ever coincided.

With zero chance of most of these cds ever getting played, a decision was made to relocate them to the attic until I can get them to the charity shop.

CDs should be played and not just sit there collecting dust.

‘And not just sit there collecting dust’, thinking about it, you can apply those words to people as well. I should remember that.

,

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 77 Comments

COVID easing

At last, some negative COVID tests. Finally the taste of coffee has returned, not fully, but I can taste it now. Spicy foods are still hit and miss, the strongest of curry flavours only produce a bit of a sweet taste but zero spice. With Hawklad his messed up taste is fish related. Prior to COVID he loved fish, now apparently the taste is horrid. Most bizarre. Plus an annoying, never ending, simultaneously blocked and runny nose. But in the scheme of things, luckily a seemingly minor bump into COVID.

As a result a very quiet and isolated festive holiday so far. Hawklad could really do with more social life with friends his own age. Maybe that can come if he gets to College in September. At least meeting with people who can master the rudimentary elements of FIFA23. A game most appreciated by Hawklad during COVID. To me it’s the gaming equivalent of Nuclear Fission and completely beyond my advanced levels of muppetry. How can randomly pressing four buttons and two triggers be so hard…..

In less than a week it’s over and pesky school is back.

That’s such a sobering thought.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Generosity

A touch of December icy white.

Generosity can make you smile, give you a warm feeling. Sometimes it can actually give you the giggles.

Just received an email from our much loved and very cheap (😱😱😱) electricity supplier who never ever make massive profits by charging too much…. They are running a scheme where they ask customers to cut power usage during peak times so that we as a country avoid running out of this piped electrical gold. In return customers receive a discount on the next bill.

Well the email from them did give me the giggles. See GENEROSITY even from the unusual sources is a good thing and it even took a bit of strain off the creaking GENERATORS.

£1 currently gets you 1.13 Euros, or 1.20 US Dollars, or 1.64 Canadian Dollars or 100 Indian Rupees. Living the DREAM today🤣🤣🤣🤣

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 72 Comments

Ice and virus

Yes it’s been cold here. This cold…

But now a few days of less cold weather. If it’s not going to snow then the weather can keep its pesky ice then….

Snow hasn’t called yet, but Covid finally has. Double whammy, we both caught it. Fortunately so far it’s been just cold like for Hawklad. A weird cold for me. I could almost feel like it was going round the body trying to find a weakness. Throat, then try the nose, then try the head, then the chest, then try the tummy, then try the joints, then back to the throat. Not too bad at all, just annoying.

The other weird thing for me has been TASTE. I can still taste most things but not everything. COFFEE taste missing, CURRY taste missing, CHAI TEA taste missing. It’s bizzare drinking a Coffee and tasting just water. Eating CURRY and getting nothing. I even tried a super strong curry powder I had mistakenly bought one shopping trip. Normally it would have blown my socks off, but now, NOTHING……. But again fortunately, I have started to get the faintest of coffee experiences again this evening, maybe this tasteless period is very temporary. But please tell me ……. why I lost the good tastes like COFFEE yet the horrible Chesty Cough Medicine taste is unaffected…. Maybe this is the time to try Brussels Sprouts and Beetroot, maybe this is the one time I can eat them without pulling a proper face.

So we patiently wait until the tests go negative, at this rate we are going to not get the cards sent off, especially as a two day postal strike is looming. Postal strikes, train strikes, nurse strikes, is there nothing this Corrupt Government can’t purposely screw up.

Stay safe out there, it’s a mad old world.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Ronald

Still cold…..

Hawklad never fails to surprise me, to catch me off guard.

He was watching The Simpsons – during school time. Oh the bad parenting 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. In my defence, if school sent some work then Hawklad would do it…….

The Simpsons mentioned Vice President Walter Mondale and off Hawklad went, educating his often bewildered Dad. I found out about all things Mondale and then all things President Reagan. Details of Reagan’s landslide and even direct quotes from the campaign. How does he know all this stuff, how can he know the exact number of electoral votes Reagan received. I was so out of my depth with Ronald, now if it was the other Ron, Mr Weasley, then I would be much better informed.

Then the icing on the cake.

“Dad, we need to watch a Reagan movie….”

Wow that would be a first for me. All I could remember about Reagan (prior to my new in-depth briefing) was my mum quite liked him as a movie star but she could never watch his films. Dad hated him, no idea why, but Reagan was banned. So to mums thumbs up and to Dads rather choice Yorkshire scowls, it’s time to go all Reagan.

Never saw that coming on this cold Yorkshire day…….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 68 Comments

Muddy Puddles

Sometimes it sneaks up on you.

You think you have it cracked and then your nice clean shoes land in the muddiest of puddles.

I was shopping today and I came across a special offer on Jam Donuts. I immediately grabbed a box and thought ‘Mum will be pleased, shall I get her a second box”. Mum loved these and she most definitely loved a special offer. But then the realisation. She is not here anymore, she hasn’t been since 2016.

Definitely one of those unexpected muddy puddles.

Then another muddy puddle.

A few hours later I saw a trailer for ‘A Wonderful Life’, it was on the TV soon. I headed towards my mobile to phone mum. She loved that movie. Then the realisation. She isn’t here anymore.

Stepped in another muddy puddle.

Those muddy puddles seem muddiest during holiday or special occasion time. Maybe you get more muddy puddles to step in. Yes times like Christmas do have a habit of throwing those curve balls, most definitely when your on the grief journey.

If you do stand in one of those muddy puddles, your not alone. We can do this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

More Grey

More grey weather. More puddles. Still banned from using a hosepipe by the Water Company. It’s a drought you know.

School is being very like school. So far this week, out of 16 lessons only 2 provided any material for Hawklad to try at home. Actually that is just one subject, radio silence from the other teachers. It does feel like in most subjects we have transitioned into full on homeschooling. Maybe school’s function now in most subjects is just to sort out the arrangements for the final exams, the teaching is down to me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 clearly they haven’t seen my old school reports 🤣🤣🤣Well at least we can work the homeschooling around the World Cup Matches.

There are far too many children who are struggling or who are at risk. Safeguarding was everything before Covid shuck up the schooling systems. Not sure it is now….

I can’t remember the last time someone from school asked how Hawklad was doing, how is he feeling, are there any issues. It’s well over 2 years since anyone from school has directly spoken to him. Not one teacher has heard his voice in that time, communication has been through the very occasional email. Ok they might think I’ve got things covered but don’t they have a duty of care over the well-being of one of their pupils. Are all parents trustworthy? Should they not check. Should they not at least arrange to speak to the pupil directly. Am I being naive, maybe schools are just focused on exam performance these days. Hawklad’s School is clearly ticking all the right boxes as it’s rated as Outstanding by the authorities.

It must be me….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 49 Comments

Mini Fib

Glorious weather in drought hit Yorkshire.

The fields aren’t muddy at all…

Apparently one of my sisters has put her Christmas Tree and Outdoor Lights up today. Which prompted a household discussion on when to put our decorations up. The consensus was MOST DEFINITELY NOT NOW.

This all brought Hawklad to revisit the Great Santa Claus issue.

“Dad, a few years back, exactly when were you going to tell me”

At some stage, maybe when you reached 50.

“Really…”

Sorry, that was a joke #### I have to be so careful as Hawklad still can take everything I say literally##### I was going to give you one more Christmas before you found out. I certainly wasn’t planning on the pesky School Religious Education Teacher telling all the class to grow up and then let the cat out of the bag in the week before Christmas. My MINI FIB was blown out of the water.

“Are there any more MINI FIBS I need to know”

I don’t think so.

##### That sadly is not strictly true. Following a long family tradition our sick bowl doubles up as the baking mixing bowl. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Some things are best not shared especially as he is about to tuck into some homemade bread…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

Grey

That kinda day. Most definitely GREY.

Have I mentioned that our local area still has a hosepipe ban. That pesky scorching sun. The other day Hawklad queried why people in Yorkshire don’t emigrate to somewhere nearer the Equator. I’m not sure my answer was entirely convincing.

My oldest sister would share Hawklad’s view on Yorkshire, it’s weather and the attraction of the Equatorial Climate. Anything below 25C is too cold for her. But it does beg the question how she will cope on her Bucket List Holiday next year. Arctic Circle to see the Northern Lights and Alaska. Not exactly Toasty.

Toasty was how I was trying to feel as I made a call to a local college while sitting on the back room radiator. A radiator turned on FULL. I was trying to book Hawklad in for a taster visit. School had failed to let us know that the window for booking these was now open. They hadn’t even mentioned what this college can offer. The reason apparently is that they don’t believe college is a viable option for Hawklad. Deep SIGH.

The college does appear promising as it has a well established setup to offer post school opportunities for pupils who have special educational needs. So we will see if Hawklad can attend a taster session in the New Year and see what he thinks. If the main college is too busy for him then they do have a separate smaller offsite teaching block which has been setup specifically to provide a quieter, more tailored learning environment. He could start in September.

But first we have to focus on Hawklad’s immediate wellbeing and helping with his anxieties. Then it’s the issue of the final exams in June without any real support from school. But at least we have the first opportunity door appearing in the distance. It’s a start.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 36 Comments

World Cup

Hawklad had been working towards his Mock Exams, waiting for school to clarify the arrangements. This week the exams started and we got clarification. Hawklad will definitely not sit mock exams until at least February. The question is how much more teaching will be made available to him from now on as much of the online school material has dried up. There is talk of one to one tuition for a couple of hours a week, however school can’t afford to buy that support in. As school are understaffed we don’t have a start date for support. So we plod on effectively with homeschooling and rely on school to arrange the final exams. Hoping we cover the right areas, find the right things to learn.

It really does feel like that a gap is opening up with his school based classmates.

“Well Dad I might end up failing my exams but at least I can watch the World Cup”

Always a bright side……