Photo taken from the top of The Niesen.
I never really thought about my own mortality. Before I met my partner my attitude to risk was “it will be alright and if something happens to me I’m not too great a loss to society”. After we became a family I started to become more responsible but I still had a reasonable risk threshold. If something happened to me our son would still have his mum and his granny.
This all changed when I lost my mum and then partner within 6 weeks of each other.
The first few days after my partner left us are still a blur. But I remember one incident like it was yesterday. It was my son’s first day back at school and I was driving to register the death. Suddenly a sports car pulled out in front of me. A suicidal overtaking manoeuvre. Luckily I saw him and managed to swerve onto the grass verge and miss him – just. At that speed it would probably have been game over. All I could think about was our Son. One second slower reaction time and he would have been parentless. The whole incident shocked me. Suddenly there was no backstop for our son. No cover if I couldn’t be there for him.
A couple of years later and it’s a new life. With new dreams, new hopes and new feelings. All the climbing and contact sports have been permanently ditched. No more drinking. No more stupid risks to my body. I just can’t take those chances anymore. I’m even more boring than I once was but much more importantly I feel that I am a much better parent now. Yes the world has changed. But hopefully I have adapted to it. The reality of parenting without a safety net…..
Sometimes we encounter things that jolt us and make us aware of where our life is going. Breathe and appreciate what life has to offer.
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Very true
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I get nervous (not that it happens often) when my husband and I are going somewhere without the kids. What if something happened to us? This makes me realize the importance of trying to come up with a plan now.
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We were the same. But then the trips dried up. Problem is my family is getting older and workable plan bs not that readily available. I do stress about it.
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I understand. But you have become the parent you should be. 🙂
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Indeed.
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Thank you very much.
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Wow!!! It amazes me how one’s life can change, literally, in just a split second. *Sigh*
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That’s both scary and exciting.
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True!
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What a scary time ! You are doing so well. My nephew and his wife had their children in their late 30’s and early 40’s. They have both had health issues in recent months, and their children’s grandparents are all in their seventies with health issues themselves. We will have to support them as much as we can so they can keep going while their children grow up.
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Yes unfortunately no guarantees in life.
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Wow. And, I agree with you.
As we discussed earlier, I was never as adventuresome as you. However, now that I’m a mother I find a natural increase in fear of dangerous things. I used to love heights, for example, and now am slightly terrified. -And, I feel these anxieties directly tied to parenting. “What if they didn’t have a mother?”
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Same here. But it’s funny I have always been scared of heights, not sure why I did climbing. Never looked down. But yes now anything can be seen as a terror event.
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Being careful for your family’s sake and for your own safety are both intelligent choices.
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They are. They also have the added advantage of being the cheaper option.
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That too.
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I don’t think looking after yourself is boring… I gave up alcohol when I was pregnant and then couldn’t drink as I was breastfeeding, so after four years I’d lost the taste, anyway. It’s more things like not taking the dark shortcut home instead of the longer, well-lit route, even if it is only five in the evening. Might seem a bit pedantic but it’s not about me…
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We all change over our life. My mum was always very very risk adverse. But went hot air ballooning at 70.
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Good for her! I’m not risk averse – it is simply the case that there is no one else to bring up my daughter apart from me. So, it makes sense for me to walk the long route home.
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On the few days I can get my bike out I won’t go out if it’s slippy just in case. Won’t go across one awful junction, push the bike across it.
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Yes…. for me, it’s the fact that I might be injured and therefore not able to get money out and buy food etc rather than bigger issues per se. Anyway, here’s too no accidents.
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Yes let’s ban accidents.
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😆
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As you know, I can identify with some of this. Can’t imagine you ever boring, though
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Maybe a better term would be less annoying….
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🙂
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I’m the complete opposite to you, I’m terrified of everything! & after having kids that fear of dying has become worse! I know it’s silly but I can’t help it, as I expect many parents can’t, but I do worry what would happen if I wasn’t here… 😞
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It is a worry. You start seeing potential dangers in everything. And I mean everything..🙏
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Our whole life changes when we become parents. Thank you for sharing.
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It really does. Thank you for reading this.
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I didn’t realize the loss of two women in your lives. And you probably don’t want to hear this, but you will find another person to love and care for in your life, hopefully soon. I can hear the loneliness and worry in your words written here, but have faith. I know that’s easy to say, because I’ve been told the same and it’s a hard thing to have faith when so much tragedy has been experienced. I wish the you both the best.
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Thank you so much for you kind and reassuring words.
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You are so right. Things may be different, but they are getting better.
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Everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that, it can also be very unfair, but that near miss was your wake up call, and it sounds to me like your an excellent parent.
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Thank you so much.
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This hits me hard, because this is what worries me so about Bo’s health. x
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As you get older you see more bad stuff happening.It effects you. I can’t figure an answer out. Makes me so sad. Take care. xx
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Me, too. *hugs*
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