A largely stress free week for our son. It’s strange how these always coincide with times away from school. How can we have got education so badly wrong for so many kids. So many great teachers yet so many unhappy and unfulfilled children.

Our son likes lists. It reflects how is mind works. They are honest, raw and unfiltered.

Dad I have a top ten list of what I am looking forward to and not looking forward to with this school term

  • Being treated like I’m not allowed to understand stuff. I’m low attainment so I am supposed to act like it. Kids who get lower marks than me, who don’t answer as many questions are in classes above me.
  • Having to put my hand up for help. I have an invisible disability which school doesn’t want to see. So I don’t get any help. No help at all.
  • Never getting a chance to shine.
  • Having to do tests which are made to make me fail.
  • Completely pointless homework. It’s just testing your handwriting.
  • Too much noise. Too many people.
  • Being in a class with so many kids who don’t want to be there so they are naughty. Because I’m in the bottom class I’m supposed to be naughty.
  • Having to wear a uniform which is so uncomfortable and feels awful.
  • It’s never fun. Just rules and avoiding being given negatives.
  • At least it’s not an 8, 9 or 10 week school term.

So in a few hours it starts again. I will repeatedly bang my head on an unmoving brick wall as school and the local council won’t shift. They make me sound like that annoying parent who just will not see the clear logic of the situation. How dare I question the system.

All I can do is keep being there for our son. But maybe there is something else. Let’s really be that annoying pushy parent. Clearly working WITH school and the authorities doesn’t work. What has it produced. A kid stuck in bottom class getting absolutely no extra help at all.

Autism – nothing

Dyspraxia – nothing

Even the little bit of help he received with Dyslexia has been removed

Diplomacy has failed. Working with the authorities has failed. Maybe it’s time to fight them.

91 thoughts on “When diplomacy fails.

  1. I feel your frustration .. I have been there but with a child that was bullied . And yes I have , had banged my head in that invisible wall as well. No one front the school staff wanted to see me coming . 4”11 and I was intimidating lol . I fought hard for justice for my daughter from Elementary to high school. I may have won some or they may have thought they helped her . No … if only they could see those hidden scars left behind from those yrs she endured . Fight , be that annoying parent . Write in the paper complain to the system but keep fighting . I’m sorry you and your son have to go through this . I’m hoping a light at the end of the tunnel comes . Hugs for both of you. He can’t change who he is as my daughter couldn’t change who she was and is to this day . Our beautiful children ones that I believe are wiser then the failed system. ❤️

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Too many kids are just ignored at school. It’s because schools are factories. Production lines where all kids are squeezed down regardless of the individual needs. If kids get scars from it the system doesn’t care – left to parents to sort that out. All kids deserve better than this. A 5ft 10 needs to become intimidating. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so sorry to hear this . I was hoping it would be a good day for him. Really? now they know he is dyslexic and they do this . Okay this really upsets me . Yes it will not help his confidence. Stay strong you have this I’m happy you wrote this on his book. Good for you. Now let’s see what tomorrow brings but for now have a good fun evening with him. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sadly that’s what they do my way. They just move them along . Which is so wrong because they should be helping him nurturing him to learn. . This is just so heartbreaking how the kids that need a bit more help gets lost I. The system.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. So agree . I believe teachers can’t be who they are . Their like robots they are told what to teach, how to teach and I think how to be . The compassion just isn’t there anymore. Their not able to . Such a shame.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This system is failing all our children, and some suffer far more than others. If it were only the schools, my children and I would have more hope. It is our love for them that will get them through the worst, but we need to lay the groundwork with them for a new way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wanna borrow Ben’s Guy Fawkes mask? I have no idea how the school system is set up there, but here we went to the district (oversees all schools through grade 8 in the city we live in) special education department. I went to the woman assigned to Ben (we met at an IEP meeting) and made sure she knew who Ben was and who Daughter & I were. When problems came up, we called her.
    It can be exhausting being THAT parent, but what alternative? Write to the media, write to the government (ha ha), write to the royal family… Have son type it out, he’s a smart kid.

    Its beyond ridiculous and absolutely shameful that you should have to go through this!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. There are times where ‘fight’ is the only option. Sadly, after reading this, this would be one of them. My heart aches for your son, having to endure all of the above. Life is difficult enough 😦 I’m thinking of you both and hoping for extra endurance and strength in the fight, as well as the chance to celebrate victory! x

    Liked by 2 people

  5. When the 1 thing out of 10 that he IS looking forward to, as apposed to the 9 that he isn’t is that at least this will be a short period in hell rather than the usually longer ones, I don’t really see why he should be there at all.

    Of course, it is quite possible that almost every other schoolboy or girl in Britain would probably have a similar list and he’s just learning what it’s like to be one of ‘everybody else’ in this world of ours, but that doesn’t change things much.

    Kids (mostly) would rather do anything other than go to school.

    Today, i don’t see that school can give any kind of guarantee that what it teaches will in any way guarantee, or even help you, get a job.

    It has always been more WHO you know than WHAT you know as i see it, and if you can market yourself to an employer, or to a financier, if you want to start up your own business.

    Not sure being a pest is going to help you, him, or those you end up haranguing??

    It may just get you a bad rep. (sorry, worse rep!) 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The cloning prose’s of schools doesn’t allow for kids that are different their just pushed to the side so not to get in the way, it’s really sad but that’s the way public schools are run. I think the only thing you can really do is bully the school his in into helping him more cause lord knows their sure as hell not gonna change their school policy’s.


    Liked by 1 person

  7. ouch that list is so sad!
    Desperate people need to take desperate measures … if the system is failing him find a way around them. My post about the railway rip off … when there are enough comments I will send NSW rail a link … more effective than writing a letter or email which gets politely but ineffectively answered.
    Public shaming can be more effective … talk to other parents and brainstorm together. Check out if there are any alternative schools available. Home school. Look at all your options …

    Liked by 2 people

  8. It’s a shame but it’s true. You have to be that annoying parent that doesn’t go away. It’s tiring but if you don’t speak up then your child gets ignored. (Which shouldn’t happen) I like that you mentioned doing tests that I will fail. I agree. I feel that the way tests are set up does not give an autistic pupil the chance to show their true ability. (The phrasing/open-ended questions) we have no choice but to be vocal so hopefully, they will change how the education system is set up.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am 43 years old and he has said some stuff that hit home with me. One in particular that hit me, that your son said: “Being in a class with so many kids who don’t want to be there so they are naughty. Because I’m in the bottom class I’m supposed to be naughty.”
    I remember being in what I called “sprecial classes” and it bloody frustrated me because I wanted to learn and improve, but around me were people that just mucked about.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Too many kids are just discarded because they don’t fit the near model. His class has a child moved out of the class because they couldn’t cope with the behaviour even though they were not doing that well in class. Yet others have been told you can’t move as your a bottom setter the person moved out has potential to improve . Basically if your face doesn’t fit or if you are seen as too much trouble then you are written off and your not allowed to improve. x


      1. Nothing changed frpm when I was at school by the sounds of it and an ex boyfriend once described how he came out with no grades, cos he was thick as they put it, when he was in comprehensive.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. When I had issues with the teacher my child had in grade one people suggested I shouldn’t “rock the boat”. Well! Oh yeah I rocked the bloody boat. If we do not stand up for our children how will they know their experiences are valid? How will they know how to handle challenging and difficult people. I say rock the damned boat – sink it if you can. Your child deserves it. All children deserve it. And you know something else I noticed, which made me both angry and sad? I noticed that the children whose parents did not “rock the boat”; the children of parents who thought “teacher knows best”; the children of parents who, for whatever reason did not speak up for their kids – those children were treated the worst. I rocked the boat. Having said all that I KNOW there are wonderful, compassionate and wise teachers out there who are also at the mercy of “the system”. My remarks are directly in reference to teachers, administrators, and others in authority who make the lives of students a living hell. They should be held to account. Definitely.


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