I believe Marygate Landing was built in 1324. In all though years it’s seen many many things. So many passing boats. So many passing souls. And I understand as many as 4 sunny days in 785 years. Another day and another drenching.

So in the end it’s been a complete weekend lockdown. An attempt to soothe the raging anxiety which school and modern life creates in someone so young. Someone with Aspergers and Dyslexia who doesn’t in to the current factory schooling regime. A regime which will only get much worse if the current Government with its elitist dogma wins the election.

Last night we were due at a concert. One of my favourite bands. A chance to see them for the first time. But it wasn’t to be and in the grand scheme of things – it doesn’t really matter. When you experience grief. When you enter the world of parenting. When you become a single parent. It changes you. It changes your outlook on life. It changes your life opportunities.

Ten years ago I would have been really annoyed at the sudden change of plan. Frustrated at missing that concert. Not now. It is what it is. With little support you learn to appreciate even the smallest win. An hour reading. A good movie. A nice walk. A good run. Yes a night out with friends or a days climbing would be wonderful. But it’s probably not going to happen. It’s now over 4 years since either of these occurred. But you get attuned to the new life. Yes one day it would be nice but there are other more attainable wins to build your life around. The main one is blocking the system out so you get to see your son smile and be relaxed.

Yes because of circumstances you make countless plans. You try to create stability and repeatability. But in our world life happens. You might hope for the perfect day. But in reality how many perfect days come your way. Not many. So Plans change. Son was watching a video about Prussia and the famous quote from Helmuth van Moltke (Military Commander) came up

No plan survives first contact with the enemy

Today maybe this can be changed to

No parenting plan survives first contact with the outside world.

You learn to be flexible and pragmatic. A well thought out plan for a concert did not survive first contact with an Aspergers Meltdown. So we lockdown. So when the concert was due to start I asked the question “here’s the popcorn, what movie shall I put on”. Expecting something like Marvel End Game or Paddington and not expecting this response.

I fancy something a bit different. This movie has had great reviews and apparently is historically very interesting.

Oh he’s going for Apollo 13. I like that movie.

Can you see if you can find Victoria and Abdul. It’s about a friendship between Queen Victoria and an Indian Muslim Servant. It supposed to be very good and it shows how racist Victorian Society was.

Ok. Never saw that one coming. After much searching and after paying the £3 online rental we watched the movie. And it was really good. Son enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It was a win. So the original plan failed but it worked out ok in the end. If we can keep doing that then we will be ok. If I keep remembering that actually I have a lot to be thankful for. Yes life will be a struggle but every so often wins come along. Just need to see them and grab them. Make the most of the many imperfect days. In the end it’s not worth relying on that perfect Yorkshire sunny day to arrive as you might be waiting a very long time.

34 thoughts on “A very long time

  1. Hello Gary. You are a saint of patience. Does your son like or find comfort in any of the video game consoles and the games? Also are there any support groups locally or online you could join? Best wishes. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Gary. Isn’t it wonderful though that your son excels at something that is beyond our skill levels? I find that to be a grand thing. To me that shows there is a place and hope for everyone no matter the troubles they face in life and the handicaps they face. I think it may be an interesting future for him if he likes to play the games, there is a whole job sector for people to play games for a living. They help the people building the games find the problems, they get to do so in their own homes, and it is rather profitable. Just an idea. Again as always wish you both the best. Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Priorities change with the times, with our own situations, with age. To be able to set aside the disappointments and adjust our priorities is important, but more importantly, it is the mark of a caring person, a person who loves others more than himself. You are that person. I hope you had 🍿🍿 with the movie!!! Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m always surprised how easy I can adjust anymore as well. We also had an outing planned yesterday, but mean words and a meltdown later we just stayed home. I’m glad your new day worked out okay even though it wasn’t what you planned.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Not at first. He wanted to go out but everything was upsetting him – an outing just had the potential for disaster, fighting and yelling. But once he calmed, he played his Lego Marvel video game and watched The Shining with Catelyn. I know it’s a bit much but he already knew everything about the movie (from YouTube – he’s itching to see Dr. Sleep so he has learned all things Shining), so he was excited when the parts came on that he knew about – and made sure to tell us all if that event happened in the book or not. So, it all ended well. For him it was actually a win as he has been wanting to see the movie. Very excited by it.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m so sorry what you and your son have been and going through. Yes, remember the little simple things. Honestly, I have come to find there the most important. Hugs to you, my friend. Just think of today and go from there.

    Liked by 1 person

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