If only sitting with a nettle tea and looking at a beautiful flower was classed as exercise….
Who invented yoga? Really! Who invented that medieval form of torture. I want words with them. The glossy brochures are so enticing.
Wonderful for posture
Stress busting
A pick me up for the soul
Strengthens the mind
Improves confidence
Recover your flexibility
Builds strength and a strong heart
Anyone can do it
Fun
Feel your anxiety ebb away
So what actually is the reality. What happens when YOGA meets a Yorkshire Bloke who is trying to figure out if he is Man or MUPPET….
So the iPad was fired up. A random yoga app was selected. The advanced 50 minute session selected. Surely being an experienced runner, CrossFit, weights, climbing, cycling superhero must count for something. For a start having an instructor who speaks in English would help. Whispering terms like Chaturanga Dandasana and Shalabhasana is just going to get a blank look in Yorkshire. Secondly can we not have an instructor who has the flexibility of Elastigirl. I’m not getting in those positions EVER, not even with scaffolding and a construction team.
50 minutes of basically hearing my body crack and creak. What are the official yoga terms for ‘that pigging hurts’, ‘are you kidding me’, ‘oh no I’m falling over’, and ‘I’m stuck’. Elastigirl, you try relaxing in the plank position when a dog is washing your face and the cat is scratching your heel. And while I’m on with it, Elastigirl my heel has never been designed to touch the back of my head – strangely my backbone makes that a physical impossibility. Lying on my back with my feet in the air might be doing something for my posterior but it’s playing havoc with my acid reflux. Where’s the warning to not get too close to glass windows when you try to balance on one leg while trying to get into the Superman flying position. It’s so far been beyond me to get into one position without farting…. Yes I can hold that press-up position for as long as you want but do you know the agony I’m in trying to hold a position which is basically me tied up in a knot. In fact most of the positions I’ve been instructed to hold while relaxing have quickly deteriorated into violent twitching and shaking episodes.
So yes I want serious words with the person who invented yoga. Tomorrow I’m going back to CrossFit training and weights. Those will now feel like an absolute delight. All that’s to yoga.
You’re hilarious. Thanks for the laugh 🙂
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thank you, hope your doing well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m doing as well as can be expected 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Funny funny funny
Don’t give up on it though. Maybe 50 mins advanced was a touch ambitious. Try 10 mins beginner next time. Oh, and farting during yoga is the law, and so very good for you x
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you Claire. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hilarious! Thanks for giving me a laugh to start my day.
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
LikeLiked by 3 people
So pleased. x
LikeLike
I have done Yogs one time for months, before going to Pilates later.
I find some moves from Yoga, crop up in Pilates. The difference though, you repeat in Yoga and you hold it in Pilates. But which ever you do, it’s finding the right teacher if you have never done it before, so they can make sure your posture is ok.
Also a teacher will not expect you to move like a very flexible person can in sometimes positions unimaginable. They get you moving to the ability that you can do, making sure you don’t extend further than your body allows.
The idea is you feel a little stretch, not such a huge one that it hurts.
As I learnt from my Pilates tutor, she has come across those who lift weights and run, laughing at her saying how Pilates is piece of piss. So she challenged them to working on their abs in a Pilates session, instead of how they do it in the gym and they struggled.
Over time, as you do those moves, your body gets better and you will notice how you are flexible that bit more, to before. Work at it. But make sure you start at the beginning, before jumping in.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Yes I think I’ve learned my lesson.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It can take some weeks to feel the relaxation side of things, depending how long it takes for you.
I remember it taking 7 weeks for that part for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will going at it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gotta agree with Claire. Pick something more suited to your abilities.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Very true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s too funny! I remember reading a post from a lady that farted during her yoga class. She was so embarassed she stood up to leave. The instructor told her, “Namaste” and slightly bowed to her. The lady said, “Nah I’m a go,” and left. 🙂
LikeLiked by 7 people
I like that so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Restorative yoga involves lying down for an hour. Really.
LikeLiked by 4 people
That’s more like it.
LikeLike
Made my day! 😄
LikeLiked by 3 people
So happy
LikeLike
😂😂
Gary, though I come from the land of yoga, let me tell you it is all humbug!!
LikeLiked by 3 people
That’s what I like to hear.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nothing but the truth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLike
🤣
LikeLiked by 3 people
🙏
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very hysterical 😂😂 that’s definitely made my day 😊✨
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s so kind of you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are most welcome 😊🌺
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fun post, and I can imagine the flatulence!
I can do The Lion and The Tree, but not necessarily in the right order. Bending my appendages the way of the pictures makes me think everything has been photoshopped, and these people are SMILING as they work out? I did aerobics and enjoyed it immensely, so much better bopping to a beat even if I was going in the wrong direction. Shame I knackered my back again on the floor exercises ‘winding down’.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Those winding down moves hurt more than the normal moves.
LikeLike
They sure did. I have a few exercises to do every day now but they’re designed to keep me supple and flexible after my surgery last year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s what I need to find.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Most of these are stretches. there are nine exercises of 5 repetitions each which I’m supposed to do three times a day. I do them twice (mostly) and they stop me ticking to myself within. Hubby says that’s called adhesions and is not uncommon after surgery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s bizarre that I spend so much time exercising yet so little time stretching.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All to do with releasing the lactic acid in the muscles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like you tried to run before you can walk! I am the world’s least flexible person but it’s amazing what you can achieve with ten minutes a day over a year, honest!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I suspect so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. At least any instructor I’ve had tells us it shouldn’t hurt and if you can do it, imagine it. Sheesh.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes it shouldn’t hurt……
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha bloody excellent and so true. Suze does yoga – or did – and she was very supple, but even she struggled. I look at yoga with a bemused look on my face at best – although l could watch a female yoga class for hours and feel strangely energised – astonishing really!
Excellent post!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Strange that…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know, it’s well spooky …………. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can’t think why though..
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, l know neither can l, but the feeling is so, so, well you know ……….just so 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must check out some videos, purely for research purposes…
LikeLiked by 1 person
……… oh yes, absolutely – research 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just research of course…
LikeLiked by 1 person
……… oh of course scholar to scholar when needs must … must needs 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Plus it’s often too dangerous to participate. Best just observe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally agree, l know how much trouble and injury l sustained trying ‘Planking’ …. dangerous sports!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes sitting is so much safer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ………….. ha ha 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder how, who and why turning the human body inside out like a giant cheese string was paired up with spiritual / religious practice in the first place.
Still there’s a lot to be said for its benefits but I think you have to start out before you literally creak and groan and hear things snapping. I’m knackered. My knees were both smashed to bits as a teen then a bad riding injury in my mid-20’s finished the job with fractured ribs and collar bone etc.
Physio and swimming worked wonders at its worst but obviously that’s not an easy or feasible option at min. Walking as in dog walking for a good few miles over nice Yorkshire countryside is the next best thing.
Gyms and yoga and anything that’s physically unpleasant, uncomfortable or even worse painful – not good.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes when things ease up, walks will be fantastic
LikeLike
LOl…. A few gentle exercises to start with, my friend. A few
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think you might be right.
LikeLike
Oh I am quite sure as you hobble about tomorrow you will see I am. Look I do a wee bit every day. It is interesting what you say. Cos my Mr will go, after we hobble off of some mountain.. I do this and that and all and I can hardly bend my knee now, how come you can and you don’t walk the miles I do every day and etc etc…and i say 10 mins yoga.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s what I’m hoping for. I strongly suspect you do it with a lot more style than my full contact yoga…..
LikeLike
Lol. If only. Seriously one of the good things is you can choose what suits and work away at these till you get it. Then add more as you go along.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the plan. See what works then make up my own thing.
LikeLike
You need Basic to start with. I hate it Yoga
I know my own body so stretch morning and night.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Just trying to vary my exercise up a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Find stretching on the net. Much better for you. 🤸♀️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will look that up.
LikeLike
Yeah, NO! After one of my surgeries the P.T. organized a “light” yoga class for a bunch of her clients. There were 4 or 5 of us. Even “light” yoga left me in more pain than before the class, and I’m extremely flexible.
I still say Jazzercise is the way to go.💃🏼 Maybe the Cap’n will join you and show off his moves. Just don’t trip over him😱😉💌
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is impossible to avoid. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never did get into yoga. Before my spine fell to bits I used to have a routine that involved lying on the floor and my cat Panther used to crawl inside my sweatshirt. Now I just have my exercise bike and dear old Panther is gone. But at least I can still walk…more or less!
LikeLiked by 3 people
It’s good to walk
LikeLike
I read this before I did my morning yoga and was highly amused…my beginner’s yoga that I’ve been doing for years! 💕
LikeLiked by 2 people
I should learn from you. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m just underambitious when it comes to pain! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m getting that way. It’s the – ‘I’m not going to get out my chair just in case it hurts’ mood.
LikeLike
Why ever have you started with a 50 minutes session 😂 There are really cool Yoga exercises, not too taxing. I did some yoga for a while frequently two years ago. But I never exceeded 20 minutes… lol.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It was the same length as my normal workout
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see! The problem is the different kind of workout…hehe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is. Walking rather stiffly today after my next yoga experiment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t overdo it, Gary 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
Better not. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmm. Easy fun. I think not. I’m sorry to say you had me laughing, not over your pain. You had to withstand but picturing you like a pretzel. Maybe take it a bit slower next time?😊
LikeLiked by 2 people
Having another go in a few hours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good luck . Let me know how it goes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Survived another yoga session this morning with the new video. Much much better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh good to hear. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLike
I have succumbed to the temptation of reading one of your blog posts. I was good today. Plus, I shed some tears about some sad news, so I think I deserve a laugh. Thanks Superdad. This is why I don’t do yoga. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
I so sorry. Sending you some hugs to Canada. Take care Tina. 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me doing yoga would make an interesting movie…… Can’t work out if it would be comedy, horror or disaster… x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I absolutely love yoga. And, perhaps, as you have discovered, the best approach is to not take it, or yourself, too seriously 🙂 I always find comic relief in my yoga sessions as I am often sprawled out in some peculiar way. I’ve recently taken up swimming again. I have not swam seriously since college (university). I consider myself relatively in shape for my age (tennis, yoga, run/walk), but dear Lord, I had forgotten what a workout 1,000 yard swim can be. It is relaxing though, and great for the lungs. A new aquatics center has opened and the “senior” rate is only $2. All of this is good for the mental health as well. Very important during this isolating time. Praying you continue to do well, and don’t give up the yoga!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m up again on the comedy jogs again in a few hours. So pleased you are finding good things to do. Look after yourself
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too funny… I do love my yoga, but you have to start with beginner 😀 Have you tried Yoga with Adriene on YouTube?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Funnily enough that’s the video I’m going with in a few hours.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I started with her and have been doing her videos for years.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They look good videos. Much better than the one I was using.
LikeLike
Scientific and amazing 👍
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks
LikeLike
I really dislike yoga. I’ve tried and tried to like it, and attended many classes in an attempt to do so, but I still don’t. I am very reluctant to say I don’t like it, because it’s akin to saying you don’t like kittens or the Dalai Lama or some such thing, but it’s the truth.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I get round it by trying emphasise it’s more an issue with me being a muppet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think half the problem is that in London you struggle to find a class shorter than 1hr 15mins. Classes are just too long. I constantly clock-watch and wish for it to be over. I do understand the benefits but I don’t want to be working for them for THAT many minutes at a stretch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did a 50 minute video today. That just felt too long.
LikeLike
Hahaha, oh I don’t know … you have some interesting positions there lol 😄
I’ll make sure to have that Human Twister game if you actually come to Cali lol – won’t that be fun? Lol (I’m teasing btw)
I am flexible like that HOWEVER I DO creak and pop 🤨
I can’t sneak up on my kids cause one of my ankles creaks and pops when I walk 😑
Like an old house – the bones settle lol 😄✌️
LikeLiked by 2 people
My hip is like that. We could form a new novelty band.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol 😄 … “the clickers”
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m buying the single already. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
You make me smile before work ❤️✌️
LikeLiked by 1 person
So pleased x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m a Twister master. If you can put up with the cracking joint sound…. It could be like a new Ryder Cup competition.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
For some reason, this made me think of my experience with golf. I couldn’t figure out how something so frustrating could possibly be considered relaxing. I moved on to tennis and racquetball where I had a larger target
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s funny I’m normally great at ball sports. All except frustrating golf.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Please don’t take this wrong, my hat’s off to you for even trying those moves, much less pronouncing the words, but this had me laughing to the point of tears. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s good. I’m pleased.
LikeLiked by 1 person